Now, I'm sure based off of the title alone, everyone is going to assume I'm boy crazy or something along those lines. Instead, I want to share some thoughts that have been floating through my head that tonight I just need to get out because I want the world to know how great they are. I told these same guys tonight that I was going home to sleep because I have to work early so that's what I should be doing but I've been tinkering with this in my mind for awhile and want to get it out.
Back in high school, when I first became a Christian, I heard over and over again that we should be praying for our future husbands, especially for someone who loves the Lord and is going to be the spiritual leader in our relationship. I think quite a few of us girls went through the time in our lives where we "gave up dating for a year" after reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye and whatever those other dating books were. Several of us have (or had) lists in the back of our Bibles of the characteristics we wanted in our future husbands. Some of my friends wrote letters to their future husbands faithfully (I've tried and my future husband is lucky if I remember twice a year to write to him. You'd think being a blogger it would come easy but nope I forget about that journal quite often...). As girls, we talked often about what our futures would look like, the types of weddings we wanted, etc. etc.
Well, I've learned that God's plans are far greater than my own and while I'm not currently in any type of relationship, I am surrounded by some pretty amazing Christian men who show me on a regular basis what it means to love the Lord. These guys in my life exemplify Christ in the ways that they live their lives. They encourage me, make me laugh, and invest in my life and my spiritual walk with God by asking me how they can pray for me. When I have a bad day, I know that I can talk to any of these guys and they will find a way to make me laugh, talk me through whatever is going on in my life, and find a way to encourage me. At the end of the day, I know that they are praying for me, which means more to me than any of them know.
With so many of my girlfriends in serious relationships, getting married, and having babies, I'm finding it's getting harder and harder to find someone to spend time with regularly. These amazing guys include me in their circle, even though other than one's girlfriend, I'm the only girl. They go out of their way to make sure they include me in the plans they make. They even crazily asked me if I wanted to go to Cedar Point this weekend...silly boys! I don't do roller coasters and they know that, but they wanted to make sure that I knew I was included. They even grudgingly put up with my weird eating habits, which says a lot for them. They may tease me about it, but in the end, they accept me for who I am, strange habits and all.
I can't find the words to even begin to tell you how incredible these men are. They show me constantly what it means to be treated with respect. They hold doors open for me, they listen when I talk, and they ask for my input when we're discussing just about anything (except roller coasters of course...). These guys show me what I deserve to have in a future husband and they are the reason that I am holding out for the best. I deserve someone who loves the Lord the way that they do, someone who treats me with respect, and accepts me for me. What they probably don't realize is that someday, they're going to make amazing husbands and when I pray for my own future husband, I am also praying for their wives, that they will find someone with these same qualities and who loves the Lord as much as they do.
I may be single and I may complain about it here and there, but at the end of the night, these men remind me of what I'm holding out for. They are the best examples of Christ in my life other than my Pastor, my small group leaders, and our youth leader. I am so lucky and so blessed that God has given them to me, to show me how it is a woman deserves to be treated, and to show me what it's like to love the Lord more than they could anyone else. I can't imagine how different my life would be without them.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Friday, July 12, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The one with the timing
It's funny that I was thinking of creating this post tonight because we discussed contentment with our youth kids tonight and it was just what I needed to hear with this blog post floating through my head.
As a 28 year old single female, I'd like to think I have my life figured out by now. Funny enough, I don't. Not even close. There are some days where I wake up and all I want to do is pull the blankets back up over my head instead of facing the obstacles I know God has planned for me for the day. Does that ever happen? Well, sometimes on a Saturday it does. I'll admit I slept until almost 3 yesterday afternoon simply because I could. And I needed it fighting off a cold.
When I look at where my life is at this present moment, it's definitely not where I planned it to be. Am I content with where I am? Well, the jury is still out on that one. Some days the answer is yes. Other days the answer is no. It all comes down to whatever has gone on that day and the mood I may be in. I am slowly learning what contentment looks like and trusting that the plans God has for my life are far better than any plan I ever had.
Back in high school, I had my life all planned out. I was going to go to college, graduate, start my career, get married, and start a family...all before I was 30. Well, I'm about a year and a half out from being 30 and so far the only things checked off of that list are going to college and graduating. I'm in a job that doesn't necessarily require a degree, I'm single, and I definitely don't have a family of my own. I'm the proud aunt of four amazing kids and another on the way, but I don't have kids of my own just yet.
Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder what I'm missing. I love my job, even if it's not my dream job. I love being a youth sponsor and a mentor. I love my small group. I love my family and friends. Every day is full of something different and most nights I go to bed exhausted. However, I wonder how often I use my busy schedule to keep myself from letting the loneliness inside of me come to the surface. About six months ago, I was having a conversation with an older lady from my church who asked me if I could sense my biological clock ticking since I'm so close to 30, unmarried, with no kids. This was said in response to talk about wedding talk with some other women from my church. I jokingly blew her comment off but inside I was seething. "How dare she say something like that to me?! She has no right to make that kind of judgment towards me!" I was livid. Then, the more I thought about it, the more it crushed me. I started to see all the couples around me planning weddings and babies and started yelling at God, asking when it was finally going to be my turn. It didn't matter that I didn't feel ready to be married yet. Clearly I was missing something because that's all people kept telling me.
Fast forward to the past several weeks. I've had conversations with friends who have asked me if I feel like I'm missing out on something because my sister is younger than me, has kids, and is buying a house. I look at them and tell them I'm perfectly content that she is the one with the children because I can spoil them rotten and I love being an aunt. Quite honestly, the one thing she has that I want the most is that she's out on her own. It takes a lot for me to admit that I'm 28 and I still live at home, especially because SO many of my high school and college friends are all living on their own. I can't afford to move out on my salary, especially with having to pay back student loans. I recently had dinner with a college friend I haven't seen in a couple of years and she asked me where I was living and when I told her at home, she asked me "How is that?" I had to think about it for a minute and honestly, it's not bad. I'm usually so busy that I'm home long enough to eat, sleep, and change my clothes. However, there's this stigma attached to being the age that I am and still being at home. It's almost shameful to admit that at 28, you still live with mommy and daddy, as if you've failed and can't make it on your own.
Then there's the issue of love. I have a separate blog planned for my thoughts on love, marriage, and relationships versus friendships (especially tied in with my favorite movie) so for this post I'll suffice it to say that being single at 28 was not part of my plan. At 28, I was hopeful that I would be married and pregnant with my first (maybe second) child. Clearly that is NOT what God has in the works for me, at least not yet. I have a medical condition that makes me unsure if I can even have children, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't yearn for a family of my own. I've gotten to a point lately where I tell people that I don't know if I want kids of my own but let me share a secret with you...I do...very much so. I came to this realization at the end of naptime the other day when I opened the curtains in my classroom to see our kindergarten assistant on the playground having a conversation with a couple of the little girls. Watching him with the kids made me remember how much I desire a man who loves children and wants a family of his own someday.
I love the story in Genesis where God fulfills His promise to Abraham and Sarah and finally blesses them with a child of their own. It gives me so much hope that if God places a desire in your life, He will fulfill that desire, but in His timing. Abraham and Sarah waited for a child for a very long time. In fact, Abraham was 100 years old when his son was finally born! If God can fulfill Abraham and Sarah's dreams at that age, I'm pretty sure me being 28 without children is NOT that big of a deal.
The one verse that gives me the most comfort is my favorite. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This is by far my all time favorite verse. The more I pray about it, and the more I live it out in my daily life, the more I find it to be true. My desires may not be God's desires for my life, and the more I turn over the keys to my life to Him, the more His desires became prevalent and prove to be far greater than anything I have ever planned for my life.
I feel as if the last year and a half especially have been teaching me contentment in every aspect of my life. I have my days where I want to take control and yell and scream and ask God when it's going to be my turn to have the things I have always wanted most: a career, a husband, and kids but then He shows me the amazing things I have in my life right now and reminds me that His plan is better than mine. I have to learn to be content in where I currently am before I can move on to the future. I, for one, can't wait to see what He has planned for me.
As a 28 year old single female, I'd like to think I have my life figured out by now. Funny enough, I don't. Not even close. There are some days where I wake up and all I want to do is pull the blankets back up over my head instead of facing the obstacles I know God has planned for me for the day. Does that ever happen? Well, sometimes on a Saturday it does. I'll admit I slept until almost 3 yesterday afternoon simply because I could. And I needed it fighting off a cold.
When I look at where my life is at this present moment, it's definitely not where I planned it to be. Am I content with where I am? Well, the jury is still out on that one. Some days the answer is yes. Other days the answer is no. It all comes down to whatever has gone on that day and the mood I may be in. I am slowly learning what contentment looks like and trusting that the plans God has for my life are far better than any plan I ever had.
Back in high school, I had my life all planned out. I was going to go to college, graduate, start my career, get married, and start a family...all before I was 30. Well, I'm about a year and a half out from being 30 and so far the only things checked off of that list are going to college and graduating. I'm in a job that doesn't necessarily require a degree, I'm single, and I definitely don't have a family of my own. I'm the proud aunt of four amazing kids and another on the way, but I don't have kids of my own just yet.
Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder what I'm missing. I love my job, even if it's not my dream job. I love being a youth sponsor and a mentor. I love my small group. I love my family and friends. Every day is full of something different and most nights I go to bed exhausted. However, I wonder how often I use my busy schedule to keep myself from letting the loneliness inside of me come to the surface. About six months ago, I was having a conversation with an older lady from my church who asked me if I could sense my biological clock ticking since I'm so close to 30, unmarried, with no kids. This was said in response to talk about wedding talk with some other women from my church. I jokingly blew her comment off but inside I was seething. "How dare she say something like that to me?! She has no right to make that kind of judgment towards me!" I was livid. Then, the more I thought about it, the more it crushed me. I started to see all the couples around me planning weddings and babies and started yelling at God, asking when it was finally going to be my turn. It didn't matter that I didn't feel ready to be married yet. Clearly I was missing something because that's all people kept telling me.
Fast forward to the past several weeks. I've had conversations with friends who have asked me if I feel like I'm missing out on something because my sister is younger than me, has kids, and is buying a house. I look at them and tell them I'm perfectly content that she is the one with the children because I can spoil them rotten and I love being an aunt. Quite honestly, the one thing she has that I want the most is that she's out on her own. It takes a lot for me to admit that I'm 28 and I still live at home, especially because SO many of my high school and college friends are all living on their own. I can't afford to move out on my salary, especially with having to pay back student loans. I recently had dinner with a college friend I haven't seen in a couple of years and she asked me where I was living and when I told her at home, she asked me "How is that?" I had to think about it for a minute and honestly, it's not bad. I'm usually so busy that I'm home long enough to eat, sleep, and change my clothes. However, there's this stigma attached to being the age that I am and still being at home. It's almost shameful to admit that at 28, you still live with mommy and daddy, as if you've failed and can't make it on your own.
Then there's the issue of love. I have a separate blog planned for my thoughts on love, marriage, and relationships versus friendships (especially tied in with my favorite movie) so for this post I'll suffice it to say that being single at 28 was not part of my plan. At 28, I was hopeful that I would be married and pregnant with my first (maybe second) child. Clearly that is NOT what God has in the works for me, at least not yet. I have a medical condition that makes me unsure if I can even have children, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't yearn for a family of my own. I've gotten to a point lately where I tell people that I don't know if I want kids of my own but let me share a secret with you...I do...very much so. I came to this realization at the end of naptime the other day when I opened the curtains in my classroom to see our kindergarten assistant on the playground having a conversation with a couple of the little girls. Watching him with the kids made me remember how much I desire a man who loves children and wants a family of his own someday.
I love the story in Genesis where God fulfills His promise to Abraham and Sarah and finally blesses them with a child of their own. It gives me so much hope that if God places a desire in your life, He will fulfill that desire, but in His timing. Abraham and Sarah waited for a child for a very long time. In fact, Abraham was 100 years old when his son was finally born! If God can fulfill Abraham and Sarah's dreams at that age, I'm pretty sure me being 28 without children is NOT that big of a deal.
The one verse that gives me the most comfort is my favorite. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This is by far my all time favorite verse. The more I pray about it, and the more I live it out in my daily life, the more I find it to be true. My desires may not be God's desires for my life, and the more I turn over the keys to my life to Him, the more His desires became prevalent and prove to be far greater than anything I have ever planned for my life.
I feel as if the last year and a half especially have been teaching me contentment in every aspect of my life. I have my days where I want to take control and yell and scream and ask God when it's going to be my turn to have the things I have always wanted most: a career, a husband, and kids but then He shows me the amazing things I have in my life right now and reminds me that His plan is better than mine. I have to learn to be content in where I currently am before I can move on to the future. I, for one, can't wait to see what He has planned for me.
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