After an emotional week with the funeral and some other stuff going on at work, I'm ready to move forward and enjoy my weekend. Vince is coming in from Athens for the weekend to help celebrate my birthday and I can't for him to be here!
Saturday I'm running my third 5k race with Megan! She picked up our race numbers and our shirts yesterday and I'm pumped to see how well I do this time around. I'm aiming for 45 minutes or under but we'll see how I do. My goal is a good night's sleep tomorrow night so I have the proper energy for the race on Saturday morning. This one is an early one and starts at 7:45 so my plan is to shower and go back to bed for awhile when I get home. :-P
I can not wait to go out Saturday night! A big group of us are going to Don Pablos on the river for dinner and then probably hanging out in Newport somewhere. I'm not really sure what the plan is yet. Plus Adrienne's mom, who is also my second mom, is coming into town and she's going out with us so I can't wait to see her!
Alright, I need to get some sleep. I have to be at work early tomorrow because we're going to be short staffed tomorrow. Here's to a great and much needed weekend!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Bittersweet
Today is my 26th birthday and it has been bittersweet. My grandpa santa (as we affectionately called him) passed away at the young age of 86 on Friday morning and today was his funeral. I took the day off of work and school and spent the day with my family, celebrating the life of a man we all loved dearly.
I hadn't cried since my aunt called me with the news on Friday afternoon and I made it through a good chunk of the visitation until someone was talking with us and told us that the only way she could describe Grandpa to her son who had never met him was "He truly was santa claus." Cue the water works. There were many, many happy memories shared during the visitation and we spent a lot of time laughing over these sweet, sweet memories we have.
The memorial service at the church was difficult. From the moment they wheeled the flag covered coffin into the sanctuary, I was in tears. The pastor and a few others who spoke during the service moved me to tears, especially when one of grandpa's dear friends got up to the podium and shared with us how grandpa told the doctors right before his triple by pass surgery a couple of months ago that he didn't have anything to lose, because he'd either wake up in the arms of his wife or wake up in the arms of his saviour. I lost it then. To have that kind of faith astounds me and I can only hope and pray my faith is as incredible as his someday.
The service at the cemetary was hard. It was a full military service because grandpa served in the Army and fought during World War 2. I haven't been to a military service since my grandpa (my mom's dad) passed away when I was 10. I teared up during the gun salute but the water works really started when they played Taps and presented the flag to grandma Betty.
As much as it hurts at the loss of this incredible man from our lives, it brings me so much comfort to know he is waiting to greet me in Heaven and that he is walking with the Lord and taking joy and delight at being out of pain and sickness. If I didn't have that comfort of knowing that he's with the Lord I don't think I could have made it through today.
We will always miss grandpa santa and the light and joy he brought to all of our lives. I can't wait until the day we're reunited in Heaven and live together for eternity.
I hadn't cried since my aunt called me with the news on Friday afternoon and I made it through a good chunk of the visitation until someone was talking with us and told us that the only way she could describe Grandpa to her son who had never met him was "He truly was santa claus." Cue the water works. There were many, many happy memories shared during the visitation and we spent a lot of time laughing over these sweet, sweet memories we have.
The memorial service at the church was difficult. From the moment they wheeled the flag covered coffin into the sanctuary, I was in tears. The pastor and a few others who spoke during the service moved me to tears, especially when one of grandpa's dear friends got up to the podium and shared with us how grandpa told the doctors right before his triple by pass surgery a couple of months ago that he didn't have anything to lose, because he'd either wake up in the arms of his wife or wake up in the arms of his saviour. I lost it then. To have that kind of faith astounds me and I can only hope and pray my faith is as incredible as his someday.
The service at the cemetary was hard. It was a full military service because grandpa served in the Army and fought during World War 2. I haven't been to a military service since my grandpa (my mom's dad) passed away when I was 10. I teared up during the gun salute but the water works really started when they played Taps and presented the flag to grandma Betty.
As much as it hurts at the loss of this incredible man from our lives, it brings me so much comfort to know he is waiting to greet me in Heaven and that he is walking with the Lord and taking joy and delight at being out of pain and sickness. If I didn't have that comfort of knowing that he's with the Lord I don't think I could have made it through today.
We will always miss grandpa santa and the light and joy he brought to all of our lives. I can't wait until the day we're reunited in Heaven and live together for eternity.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Perspective
I should be sleeping but I wanted to blog out how I'm feeling before I head to bed so I can keep myself in check over the next month or so.
First, an update on Jen. I finally heard from her aunt last night via facebook (yes, I am that person that resorted to facebook stalking to find out how she's doing) and she told me that Jen's stroke wasn't the bad kind, that she's already regained 100% of her speech and is now trying to regain her strength. She's going through cat scans to figure out if they can put her on blood thinners to disolve the clot that caused the stroke and she's still in ICU but the doctors and neurologists are confident in how she's doing. Bonnie told me that Jen is more concerned about getting back to her students (she teaches high school history) than she is about being in the hospital. I told Bonnie that if Jen is worried about work, I know she's going to be okay. I told her that we're all praying for her and to keep me updated on how she's doing.
I met with my small group leader tonight after youth to talk about some things I have going on in my personal life. Lately I've been feeling empty, exhausted, and anti-social. I told Seth I didn't know where any of this was coming from and after a good hour long talk, I feel better about things. I know a big chunk of my problem is that I can't say no to people. Because of this, I have spread myself way too thin lately trying to do everything for everyone. I need to cut some stuff out of my life to make time for me and school. People need to understand that I'm a graduate student who also works full time. I don't have all this free time like they think that I do.
People also assume that I have all the time in the world because I'm single but I don't! I work full time, go to school part time, volunteer with our youth, go to my own small group, go to church on Sundays, and train for a half marathon. That doesn't give me a lot of free time to spare for everyone. I'm just as busy as the next person and something has to give somewhere. Seth called me on the church aspect because he's noticed that I haven't been to church in weeks. That's just one of the things I've let slide because it's easier to just sleep in on Sundays than to get up and add another thing to my "to do" list. When it comes to my faith, church needs to come first. It's important for me to be there, to have somewhere that I'm growing and being fed. I can't just not go to church because I need to sleep.
Priorities. It's all about priorities right now. I need to figure out what's more important and then figure out where I can make cuts. If I keep doing everything I'm doing now, I'm going to run myself ragged and eventually my body is just going to shut down. It's time for a much needed change so I can be a happier and healthier person phyiscally, mentally, and spiritually.
First, an update on Jen. I finally heard from her aunt last night via facebook (yes, I am that person that resorted to facebook stalking to find out how she's doing) and she told me that Jen's stroke wasn't the bad kind, that she's already regained 100% of her speech and is now trying to regain her strength. She's going through cat scans to figure out if they can put her on blood thinners to disolve the clot that caused the stroke and she's still in ICU but the doctors and neurologists are confident in how she's doing. Bonnie told me that Jen is more concerned about getting back to her students (she teaches high school history) than she is about being in the hospital. I told Bonnie that if Jen is worried about work, I know she's going to be okay. I told her that we're all praying for her and to keep me updated on how she's doing.
I met with my small group leader tonight after youth to talk about some things I have going on in my personal life. Lately I've been feeling empty, exhausted, and anti-social. I told Seth I didn't know where any of this was coming from and after a good hour long talk, I feel better about things. I know a big chunk of my problem is that I can't say no to people. Because of this, I have spread myself way too thin lately trying to do everything for everyone. I need to cut some stuff out of my life to make time for me and school. People need to understand that I'm a graduate student who also works full time. I don't have all this free time like they think that I do.
People also assume that I have all the time in the world because I'm single but I don't! I work full time, go to school part time, volunteer with our youth, go to my own small group, go to church on Sundays, and train for a half marathon. That doesn't give me a lot of free time to spare for everyone. I'm just as busy as the next person and something has to give somewhere. Seth called me on the church aspect because he's noticed that I haven't been to church in weeks. That's just one of the things I've let slide because it's easier to just sleep in on Sundays than to get up and add another thing to my "to do" list. When it comes to my faith, church needs to come first. It's important for me to be there, to have somewhere that I'm growing and being fed. I can't just not go to church because I need to sleep.
Priorities. It's all about priorities right now. I need to figure out what's more important and then figure out where I can make cuts. If I keep doing everything I'm doing now, I'm going to run myself ragged and eventually my body is just going to shut down. It's time for a much needed change so I can be a happier and healthier person phyiscally, mentally, and spiritually.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Trying to wrap my brain around it
Yesterday after work I received two pieces of bad news. My aunt called to tell me that my uncle's grandpa, the one we all affectionately called grandpa santa because of his white beard, passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning. We're all still kind of in shock and while we're all putting on a strong front, I know we're all hurting inside. The funeral is set for Tuesday so I'm taking the day off of both work and classes to be with my family.
Then, Diana called me from Youngstown. I expected her to be calling to tell me about the test she was taking for a new job and instead she was calling to tell me that our friend Jen (who she's now related to by marriage because Diana is married to Jen's cousin) had a stroke yesterday afternoon at the age of 25. The only thing we really know is that Jen apparently had a blood clot that ruptured on the left side of her brain. When I talked to Diana at 6:00 last night, Jen was still in the ER and her dad was trying to catch the next flight out to Florida to be with her. (Jen lives in Florida because her parents divorced in second grade and her mom still lives down there).
I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that Jen had a stroke at the young age of 25. She's always been one of the healthiest people I know since battling cancer at age 3 and now she's laying in the hospital because she had a stroke. How do these things happen? I just don't understand it. It's just not fair.
I'm dying for an update on how she's doing. I sent a facebook message to her mom and her aunt and I've been texting Diana every few hours to see if anyone has heard anything and I've heard nothing in over 24 hours.
I'm a mess. Between grandpa santa dying yesterday and Jen having a stroke I'm just numb. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I did a 5k walk today with a couple of my coworkers that helped clear my mind but now I'm baby-sitting and the kids are entertaining themselves so my mind is just wandering and thinking the worst and I hate that. I just want an update. I just don't understand how these things happen. :-/
Then, Diana called me from Youngstown. I expected her to be calling to tell me about the test she was taking for a new job and instead she was calling to tell me that our friend Jen (who she's now related to by marriage because Diana is married to Jen's cousin) had a stroke yesterday afternoon at the age of 25. The only thing we really know is that Jen apparently had a blood clot that ruptured on the left side of her brain. When I talked to Diana at 6:00 last night, Jen was still in the ER and her dad was trying to catch the next flight out to Florida to be with her. (Jen lives in Florida because her parents divorced in second grade and her mom still lives down there).
I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that Jen had a stroke at the young age of 25. She's always been one of the healthiest people I know since battling cancer at age 3 and now she's laying in the hospital because she had a stroke. How do these things happen? I just don't understand it. It's just not fair.
I'm dying for an update on how she's doing. I sent a facebook message to her mom and her aunt and I've been texting Diana every few hours to see if anyone has heard anything and I've heard nothing in over 24 hours.
I'm a mess. Between grandpa santa dying yesterday and Jen having a stroke I'm just numb. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I did a 5k walk today with a couple of my coworkers that helped clear my mind but now I'm baby-sitting and the kids are entertaining themselves so my mind is just wandering and thinking the worst and I hate that. I just want an update. I just don't understand how these things happen. :-/
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Road trip!
I'm headed to Youngstown tomorrow after work. I haven't been since my whirlwind trip for Diana's wedding in June so I'm excited for some much needed time with my bestie. I hate that we live four hours apart but I love that we're still so close. She understands me better than anyone I know and has put up with so much crap over the years. Plus, I'm taking her out for a run with me and I'm totally going to kick her butt! ;-)
Things have been crazy since classes started last week. I'm taking a Stats class which is completely kicking my butt. Whoever decided I should have to take Stats should be strung up by their toes. Ugh. This is the first Master's level class I've actually had to study for!
I need to start looking at studying for the comps. I'm not taking it here in Ohio until August but I'm taking the state boards in Colorado in June so eventually I'm going to have to start studying for it. Maybe over winter break. We'll see.
I had an interesting hour and a half phone call with Mike last night about politics and religion and our views on different subjects within those realms. I didn't get off the phone until almost 1 a.m. and I had to be up at 6:45 so even though I was sleep deprived today it was completely worth it to hear that someone else feels the way I do.
I should go pack but I'll wait until Jersey Shore is over in ten minutes. Hopefully I'm in bed by 11:30 so I can actually get some sleep before driving four hours after work tomorrow!
Things have been crazy since classes started last week. I'm taking a Stats class which is completely kicking my butt. Whoever decided I should have to take Stats should be strung up by their toes. Ugh. This is the first Master's level class I've actually had to study for!
I need to start looking at studying for the comps. I'm not taking it here in Ohio until August but I'm taking the state boards in Colorado in June so eventually I'm going to have to start studying for it. Maybe over winter break. We'll see.
I had an interesting hour and a half phone call with Mike last night about politics and religion and our views on different subjects within those realms. I didn't get off the phone until almost 1 a.m. and I had to be up at 6:45 so even though I was sleep deprived today it was completely worth it to hear that someone else feels the way I do.
I should go pack but I'll wait until Jersey Shore is over in ten minutes. Hopefully I'm in bed by 11:30 so I can actually get some sleep before driving four hours after work tomorrow!
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