I've decided that there is no better therapy than that of putting on my running shoes and going for a three mile run. Last night, I was in a mood and couldn't shake this weird feeling I had so even though it was an "off" night from running, I decided to put my running shoes on and head to the gym for a three mile run. By the time I was done, I was so exhausted I came home, took a shower, and fell asleep. It amazed me how much better I felt after I was done.
I keep thinking back on how far I've come in my training and how I never thought I'd make it to this point. I can't believe the half marathon is in four and a half weeks. Four and a half weeks?!? How did the last year go by so quickly?! The end is in sight and I can't believe it's almost time to meet my goal that I thought would never get here. This is it folks. We're in the home stretch of the biggest run of my life, the one I've been training for a year for. A year! And now it's the end of my training. Wow!
The hardest part of my training has been overcoming the mental barriers that still sometimes get in my way. That 15k was the hardest race I've ever finished and the distance wasn't the problem. My self-doubt was. I need to continually remind myself of how far I've come and that I CAN do this. I've been training for a year for this. There is NO reason I'm not ready for this half marathon. I've overcome injuries, illnesses, and setbacks to make it to where I am right now. Four and a half weeks from now I WILL conquer my goal!
I think my biggest fear with the half is all the hills. Cincinnati isn't exactly flat and there are several hills that terrify me. Denise has already given me several pep talks about them and has reminded me that it's okay to conserve my energy and to walk them. That doesn't make me a failure. It makes me smart so I don't hurt myself. I do need to hill train though so I'm headed to Athens next weekend (I'm pretty sure I am anyway) to hill train. I have to run 12 miles and Athens is so hilly that it's the perfect place to get both my mileage and my hill training in.
After next weekend's 12 mile run, I start scaling back because the race will be so close! I'm excited, scared, and nervous but I know I CAN and WILL finish this half marathon on May 1st! Bring on the Flying Pig!!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Confession
I have a confession to make, something I've been meaning to blog about for awhile, but haven't because I know one of my closest friends reads my blog and I haven't told him yet soooo I need to figure out the best way to handle this situation and then I will definitely be back to blog about it here.
I do love that I have a more private "diary" on another site that lets me control who can and can not read my blog so I was able to spill this out when it all first started happening about two weeks ago. However, I can't keep it contained much longer, especially with the way things are progressing, so once I figure out how to tell said person, I'll be back to blog about this.
By the way my friends, be careful about how you say things to me because I will take them to heart and it eventually leads to me not wanting to tell you when something big is happening in my life, like now. I know it was an innocent comment and you probably didn't know it got to me, but it did. So now, I have to figure out how to tell you about this time in my life without wondering if you're going to think it's weird or give me grief about it.
And if you think I'm talking to you, chances are, I may be. Guess only time will tell. I'll be back soon to blog about this. Hopefully.
I do love that I have a more private "diary" on another site that lets me control who can and can not read my blog so I was able to spill this out when it all first started happening about two weeks ago. However, I can't keep it contained much longer, especially with the way things are progressing, so once I figure out how to tell said person, I'll be back to blog about this.
By the way my friends, be careful about how you say things to me because I will take them to heart and it eventually leads to me not wanting to tell you when something big is happening in my life, like now. I know it was an innocent comment and you probably didn't know it got to me, but it did. So now, I have to figure out how to tell you about this time in my life without wondering if you're going to think it's weird or give me grief about it.
And if you think I'm talking to you, chances are, I may be. Guess only time will tell. I'll be back soon to blog about this. Hopefully.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Thoughts on the future
Ever since Vince left on Tuesday, I've been processing several conversations we had about the future. There's something about our friendship that makes it easy for me to admit things I don't ever want to admit to myself or anyone else. But then, it's also easy to let your guard down at 4 in the morning when you've stayed up all night talking.
Vince got in to town on Sunday evening and after spending some time with my family at my sister's and then with some friends at Bdubs, we came home for a movie night. When the movie was over, we had full intentions of going to bed but instead that turned into five hours of talking later before we finally fell asleep. By the time we went to bed, I had been up for 24 hours, though I had taken a two hour nap after my race.
During our marathon conversation, we touched on the future a bit. However, it wasn't until the following day when we were walking through the historic district of Covington admiring old houses and apartments that we really got to the heart of the conversation. Vince jokingly made a comment that if he moved to Cincinnati at the same time I was moving to Denver that he'd be really pissed at me and not talk to me again. I started laughing but then we got serious and I told him I wasn't even sure if I was moving to Denver, that it all depended on jobs and finances and the many other things you need to consider before picking up your life and moving 18 hours across the country.
As we were walking through Covington, we started talking about moving in together and being roommates, which would be crazy ridiculous and fun! We both want to live in the city or on the water and he's planning to move to Cincinnati for some independence anyway before ultimately wanting to move to Seattle so why not move in together and save money by being roommates instead of living by ourselves? We both need to finish school first and then I believe he wants to stay at OU for grad school anyway so it'll be a couple of years at least before this happens and you never know how things will change by then.
I know it seems like one weekend completely changed my mind around but honestly, it's been weighing on me a lot lately and Vince was the first one to call me out on whether I wanted to really move to Denver or not. I do because a big part of my heart is there and I feel like I'm torn between Cincinnati and Denver but at the same time my life is here. My family is here, my friends are here, my life is here. Essentially, I'd be starting all over again in Denver and at 27, I don't know if I'd be ready for that.
I don't know. There's so much to consider. It's all going to come down to the job market and who is going to offer me a job. I'll be honest though. Ever since the other night, I've been looking at apartments in Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky. There was one that Vince and I had walked by and I made a comment about how creepy the building looked but when I looked it up online, it was gorgeous! Wood floors, vaulted ceilings, a lot of light...and right on the river! Plus, the rent was fantastic for a river view for two bedrooms.
I'm trying to not jump ahead of myself because I honestly do not know what my future has in store for me. I'm still going to take the boards in Denver in June but I'm also going to get licensed in Kentucky as well. I need to have back up plans and options available so I can market myself everywhere for a position.
I have so much else on my brain but I feel like this is scatterbrained enough and all over the place so I'll tell you the fun part of our visit and then process some more when I can focus on the serious side of my brain.
Obviously Sunday night we stayed up all night talking. During our marathon conversation we talked about anything and everything and Vince even told me ghost stories. At one point I had to get out of bed to go to the bathroom so I made him cover his eyes so I could turn on the light because I was afraid something would jump out from under the bed and grab me. :-P
We got up on Monday and spent the entire day downtown. We went to the top of Carew Tower, which used to be the tallest building in Cincinnati before the new skyscraper was built this past year. I've lived here for 10 years and that was the first time I'd ever been up there. The views were incredible! We took a bunch of pictures and then headed back down to go for a walk to the river where I proceeded to get us lost. Well, we weren't lost but we didn't end up in the spot I thought we would. So instead we walked along the riverfront under the bridge admiring the murals that had been painted and then walked through the historic district of Covington admiring the old buildings before heading back across the river to Cincinnati.
We drove down to Sawyer Point and sat in our favorite spot on the river, which is still flooded from all the rain we got in the last few weeks. I could have sat there all night but we had dinner plans with my co-workers so we headed back out towards my work to hang out with them. After dinner we went down to Newport with the intentions of finding Vince a Cincinnati Reds hat and then seeing a movie but that turned into me getting a smoothie and hanging out overlooking the city instead because the sports store was closed and we were too tired for a movie.
Of course, once we got home we got a second wind and we ended up watching a scary movie with my mom that had a really ridiculous ending. Someone should take away my rights of being allowed to choose our movies off the Netflix queue because I always choose stupid ones. I think it's why I stick to my favorite tv shows on demand on Netflix because you can't go wrong with those. After the movie we both passed out since we had worn ourselves out by spending the whole day walking all over downtown and Covington and hanging out in the sun.
When we woke up on Tuesday, my mom told us we sounded like a married couple from the way we were "arguing" with each other. Apparently I punched Vince in his sleep on Monday night. Whoops! I have no idea what I was dreaming about (it had something to do with the movie we had watched I think) and he thought I was awake when I did it. Nope, not so much. I definitely don't remember doing it. He was giving me crap for that and I was giving him crap for the fact that I had to sleep on the edge of my bed because he kept rolling over and almost pushing me out of bed all night. :-P It was hilarious listening to us!
We had breakfast with my parents while I got the tires rotated on my car. After breakfast, I found out from the tire people that both my brakes and roters need replaced and they quoted me close to $700 for both the front and the back. I had to run to my mechanic anyway and they quoted me about the same so I think I'm just going to have my mechanic take care of it. It needed done before Denver anyway so I guess this is a blessing in disguise because at least I won't have to worry about them going out on me before I drive to Denver in June. But still...$700!
After breakfast we ran all over creation (okay to two malls but it felt like all over!) to find Vince the Cincinnati Reds hat he wanted. See, I slowly am bringing him to the dark side since he's from Cleveland! Now if only I could make him see that the Yankees are better than the Red Sox. Crazy Boston fan. *shakes head* This summer we're going to have a photo shoot of us duking it out in our Yankees-Red Sox apparel and then together in our Reds apparel. It's on our Cincinnati bucket list of things to do together so I'm looking forward to the summer and the crazy adventures I'm sure are bound to happen when we're together.
After our day in the sun on Monday I ended up sun burnt and believe it or not, I broke out with sun poisioning today! My neck started itching and I thought I had a rash so I made my mom look at it considering she's a nurse and she told me it looks like sun poisoning since it's in the same place I'm sunburnt at. I put cream on it which helps but still, who gets sun poisoning in March?!? Apparently I do!
Okay, enough of my scatterbrained-ness. I'm going to go watch an episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (my newest addiction) on Netflix before bed. Tomorrow's Friday!!
Vince got in to town on Sunday evening and after spending some time with my family at my sister's and then with some friends at Bdubs, we came home for a movie night. When the movie was over, we had full intentions of going to bed but instead that turned into five hours of talking later before we finally fell asleep. By the time we went to bed, I had been up for 24 hours, though I had taken a two hour nap after my race.
During our marathon conversation, we touched on the future a bit. However, it wasn't until the following day when we were walking through the historic district of Covington admiring old houses and apartments that we really got to the heart of the conversation. Vince jokingly made a comment that if he moved to Cincinnati at the same time I was moving to Denver that he'd be really pissed at me and not talk to me again. I started laughing but then we got serious and I told him I wasn't even sure if I was moving to Denver, that it all depended on jobs and finances and the many other things you need to consider before picking up your life and moving 18 hours across the country.
As we were walking through Covington, we started talking about moving in together and being roommates, which would be crazy ridiculous and fun! We both want to live in the city or on the water and he's planning to move to Cincinnati for some independence anyway before ultimately wanting to move to Seattle so why not move in together and save money by being roommates instead of living by ourselves? We both need to finish school first and then I believe he wants to stay at OU for grad school anyway so it'll be a couple of years at least before this happens and you never know how things will change by then.
I know it seems like one weekend completely changed my mind around but honestly, it's been weighing on me a lot lately and Vince was the first one to call me out on whether I wanted to really move to Denver or not. I do because a big part of my heart is there and I feel like I'm torn between Cincinnati and Denver but at the same time my life is here. My family is here, my friends are here, my life is here. Essentially, I'd be starting all over again in Denver and at 27, I don't know if I'd be ready for that.
I don't know. There's so much to consider. It's all going to come down to the job market and who is going to offer me a job. I'll be honest though. Ever since the other night, I've been looking at apartments in Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky. There was one that Vince and I had walked by and I made a comment about how creepy the building looked but when I looked it up online, it was gorgeous! Wood floors, vaulted ceilings, a lot of light...and right on the river! Plus, the rent was fantastic for a river view for two bedrooms.
I'm trying to not jump ahead of myself because I honestly do not know what my future has in store for me. I'm still going to take the boards in Denver in June but I'm also going to get licensed in Kentucky as well. I need to have back up plans and options available so I can market myself everywhere for a position.
I have so much else on my brain but I feel like this is scatterbrained enough and all over the place so I'll tell you the fun part of our visit and then process some more when I can focus on the serious side of my brain.
Obviously Sunday night we stayed up all night talking. During our marathon conversation we talked about anything and everything and Vince even told me ghost stories. At one point I had to get out of bed to go to the bathroom so I made him cover his eyes so I could turn on the light because I was afraid something would jump out from under the bed and grab me. :-P
We got up on Monday and spent the entire day downtown. We went to the top of Carew Tower, which used to be the tallest building in Cincinnati before the new skyscraper was built this past year. I've lived here for 10 years and that was the first time I'd ever been up there. The views were incredible! We took a bunch of pictures and then headed back down to go for a walk to the river where I proceeded to get us lost. Well, we weren't lost but we didn't end up in the spot I thought we would. So instead we walked along the riverfront under the bridge admiring the murals that had been painted and then walked through the historic district of Covington admiring the old buildings before heading back across the river to Cincinnati.
We drove down to Sawyer Point and sat in our favorite spot on the river, which is still flooded from all the rain we got in the last few weeks. I could have sat there all night but we had dinner plans with my co-workers so we headed back out towards my work to hang out with them. After dinner we went down to Newport with the intentions of finding Vince a Cincinnati Reds hat and then seeing a movie but that turned into me getting a smoothie and hanging out overlooking the city instead because the sports store was closed and we were too tired for a movie.
Of course, once we got home we got a second wind and we ended up watching a scary movie with my mom that had a really ridiculous ending. Someone should take away my rights of being allowed to choose our movies off the Netflix queue because I always choose stupid ones. I think it's why I stick to my favorite tv shows on demand on Netflix because you can't go wrong with those. After the movie we both passed out since we had worn ourselves out by spending the whole day walking all over downtown and Covington and hanging out in the sun.
When we woke up on Tuesday, my mom told us we sounded like a married couple from the way we were "arguing" with each other. Apparently I punched Vince in his sleep on Monday night. Whoops! I have no idea what I was dreaming about (it had something to do with the movie we had watched I think) and he thought I was awake when I did it. Nope, not so much. I definitely don't remember doing it. He was giving me crap for that and I was giving him crap for the fact that I had to sleep on the edge of my bed because he kept rolling over and almost pushing me out of bed all night. :-P It was hilarious listening to us!
We had breakfast with my parents while I got the tires rotated on my car. After breakfast, I found out from the tire people that both my brakes and roters need replaced and they quoted me close to $700 for both the front and the back. I had to run to my mechanic anyway and they quoted me about the same so I think I'm just going to have my mechanic take care of it. It needed done before Denver anyway so I guess this is a blessing in disguise because at least I won't have to worry about them going out on me before I drive to Denver in June. But still...$700!
After breakfast we ran all over creation (okay to two malls but it felt like all over!) to find Vince the Cincinnati Reds hat he wanted. See, I slowly am bringing him to the dark side since he's from Cleveland! Now if only I could make him see that the Yankees are better than the Red Sox. Crazy Boston fan. *shakes head* This summer we're going to have a photo shoot of us duking it out in our Yankees-Red Sox apparel and then together in our Reds apparel. It's on our Cincinnati bucket list of things to do together so I'm looking forward to the summer and the crazy adventures I'm sure are bound to happen when we're together.
After our day in the sun on Monday I ended up sun burnt and believe it or not, I broke out with sun poisioning today! My neck started itching and I thought I had a rash so I made my mom look at it considering she's a nurse and she told me it looks like sun poisoning since it's in the same place I'm sunburnt at. I put cream on it which helps but still, who gets sun poisoning in March?!? Apparently I do!
Okay, enough of my scatterbrained-ness. I'm going to go watch an episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (my newest addiction) on Netflix before bed. Tomorrow's Friday!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Heart Mini Marathon 15k!!
I want to blog about this now while it's all fresh in my mind because I don't want to forget a moment of today's incredible experience.
I got up at 5:15 to give my body enough time to wake up so I could eat a small breakfast before the race. After Thanksgiving's disasterous energy crash from NOT eating before the race I knew I needed to eat this morning or else I would never have survived nine miles. I decided on two slices of peanut butter toast on wheat bread and a glass of water. I wanted juice but figured the acidity of it might upset my stomach so I opted to stay with a bland breakfast I knew would settle well.
I headed out the door about 6:10 to meet Denise and we left her house at 6:20. We got about half way downtown and it started raining. Really?!? It wasn't supposed to rain until this afternoon so I kept hoping it was just a passing shower. Nope, no such luck. We met up with Shana in the hotel near the start line and she told us it was pouring as she came in. Great. Another race in the rain. I'm starting to get used to this in Cincinnati.
We stood in line, went to the bathroom, and then headed to the start line where we huddled under a bus stop to keep warm and dry before the race started. The gun went off and we were off! I started off too quick so I had to quickly pull myself back so I didn't waste all of my energy. I knew I would need that later when it came time to run Torrence Parkway, the biggest hill in the race. Denise and Shana paced with each other since they're about the same speed so it was just me and my ipod for 9.3 miles.
I did pretty well at maintaining anywhere between a 15 and 16 minute mile, which for me is awesome. I hit the four mile marker at 1:02 and knew I was on track to cut some of my long run time down. This is also about where I started to get emotional. I was four miles into a nine mile race and coming up to turn around to head towards the hill. I was thinking about my grandpa, who died when I was 10 because the race is put on by the American Heart Association and he died of a heart attack. I kept thinking how proud he would be of the woman I've become and how much I missed him. Then I started questioning my ability to actually finish the race running because I was walking and I quickly became a mess. I started giving myself a pep talk and told myself it wasn't time to cry, that the tears could wait until I hit the finish line. At that moment, I needed to focus on the fact that I still had five miles to go so I picked my feet up and started running again. At that moment I saw Denise and Shana who had made the turn around and were headed back the opposite direction and they started cheering for me. That pick me up was just what my body needed and my confidence turned right back around and I was off again.
At mile 6 I hit Torrence Parkway and people weren't kidding when they said it was killer! I took it at a slow walk and once I got to the top, enjoyed jogging back down the opposite side of it. I was starting to feel sore at that point so I slowed myself down to a walk and from mile 6 to mile 7 was my slowest time at 18 minutes. Still not too bad, all things considering.
Around 8.5 miles, it started pouring down rain. I was like, "You have got to be kidding me!" and the girl next to me started laughing. I was already walking at this point because I was cramping something fierce so I picked up my walk and tried power walking, but the cramps were so bad that I actually had to stop and stretch my leg out. I was cramping from my toes all the way up to the middle of my calf in my left leg. It was awful. By the time I got the muscles stretched out, I had water dripping down my face, into my eyes, and down my nose. I kept swiping at my face with my sleeves but I quickly gave up because nothing was keeping me dry.
At this point, I was at mile 9 and only had .3 left to go. I was still walking because I was sore and had to quickly give myself a pep talk that I had not come this far to walk across the finish line so I picked my pace back up into a jog. At that moment, I looked up and looked right into Megan's eyes. She and James had come down to meet me at the finish line and with their encouragement, I picked up my speed and ran it in.
I was presented with my mylar, which I quickly wrapped around me because I was freezing. It's one thing to run in the rain, it's another to run in cold rain. I let the race officials cut the timing chip off of my shoe and then headed down the stretch to get my finisher's medal.
I finished my first ever 15k in 2:26:39 and have never been more proud of my time. I maintained a 15:47 mile, which is incredible! I was so proud of how well I had done, especially because this winter has been awful with illnesses, pains, and set backs. I overcame all of them and met my goal of the 15k. Next up is the Flying Pig Half Marathon six weeks from today!!
I met up with Megan and James and we headed back down to the finish line to wait for Denise since she had run the half. She came in 14 minutes after I did and finished her half marathon in 2:40!! I am so very proud of her and I think it's incredible that she ran 13 miles in just over two and a half hours!
We headed down the home stretch to have our pictures taken together in front of the American flag. We proudly showed our medals and I know the smiles on both of our faces were huge. I could never have done this without her. She has seen me through months of training and I owe so much of where I am now to her.
I am sore, tired, and cold but I am accomplished. I have met my third goal in my training plan and I can't wait to cross off that final goal of the half marathon in six weeks. This has been an incredible journey and through all of the illnesses, injuries, and set backs, I have learned so much about myself and my confidence level has just soared through the roof. I love where I am right now and can't wait to see how the half marathon goes in six weeks.
I. Am. Ready. Bring it on Flying Pig!
At home after finishing the race! Cold, tired, wet, and sore but I made it!
My race number, medal, and results!
I got up at 5:15 to give my body enough time to wake up so I could eat a small breakfast before the race. After Thanksgiving's disasterous energy crash from NOT eating before the race I knew I needed to eat this morning or else I would never have survived nine miles. I decided on two slices of peanut butter toast on wheat bread and a glass of water. I wanted juice but figured the acidity of it might upset my stomach so I opted to stay with a bland breakfast I knew would settle well.
I headed out the door about 6:10 to meet Denise and we left her house at 6:20. We got about half way downtown and it started raining. Really?!? It wasn't supposed to rain until this afternoon so I kept hoping it was just a passing shower. Nope, no such luck. We met up with Shana in the hotel near the start line and she told us it was pouring as she came in. Great. Another race in the rain. I'm starting to get used to this in Cincinnati.
We stood in line, went to the bathroom, and then headed to the start line where we huddled under a bus stop to keep warm and dry before the race started. The gun went off and we were off! I started off too quick so I had to quickly pull myself back so I didn't waste all of my energy. I knew I would need that later when it came time to run Torrence Parkway, the biggest hill in the race. Denise and Shana paced with each other since they're about the same speed so it was just me and my ipod for 9.3 miles.
I did pretty well at maintaining anywhere between a 15 and 16 minute mile, which for me is awesome. I hit the four mile marker at 1:02 and knew I was on track to cut some of my long run time down. This is also about where I started to get emotional. I was four miles into a nine mile race and coming up to turn around to head towards the hill. I was thinking about my grandpa, who died when I was 10 because the race is put on by the American Heart Association and he died of a heart attack. I kept thinking how proud he would be of the woman I've become and how much I missed him. Then I started questioning my ability to actually finish the race running because I was walking and I quickly became a mess. I started giving myself a pep talk and told myself it wasn't time to cry, that the tears could wait until I hit the finish line. At that moment, I needed to focus on the fact that I still had five miles to go so I picked my feet up and started running again. At that moment I saw Denise and Shana who had made the turn around and were headed back the opposite direction and they started cheering for me. That pick me up was just what my body needed and my confidence turned right back around and I was off again.
At mile 6 I hit Torrence Parkway and people weren't kidding when they said it was killer! I took it at a slow walk and once I got to the top, enjoyed jogging back down the opposite side of it. I was starting to feel sore at that point so I slowed myself down to a walk and from mile 6 to mile 7 was my slowest time at 18 minutes. Still not too bad, all things considering.
Around 8.5 miles, it started pouring down rain. I was like, "You have got to be kidding me!" and the girl next to me started laughing. I was already walking at this point because I was cramping something fierce so I picked up my walk and tried power walking, but the cramps were so bad that I actually had to stop and stretch my leg out. I was cramping from my toes all the way up to the middle of my calf in my left leg. It was awful. By the time I got the muscles stretched out, I had water dripping down my face, into my eyes, and down my nose. I kept swiping at my face with my sleeves but I quickly gave up because nothing was keeping me dry.
At this point, I was at mile 9 and only had .3 left to go. I was still walking because I was sore and had to quickly give myself a pep talk that I had not come this far to walk across the finish line so I picked my pace back up into a jog. At that moment, I looked up and looked right into Megan's eyes. She and James had come down to meet me at the finish line and with their encouragement, I picked up my speed and ran it in.
I was presented with my mylar, which I quickly wrapped around me because I was freezing. It's one thing to run in the rain, it's another to run in cold rain. I let the race officials cut the timing chip off of my shoe and then headed down the stretch to get my finisher's medal.
I finished my first ever 15k in 2:26:39 and have never been more proud of my time. I maintained a 15:47 mile, which is incredible! I was so proud of how well I had done, especially because this winter has been awful with illnesses, pains, and set backs. I overcame all of them and met my goal of the 15k. Next up is the Flying Pig Half Marathon six weeks from today!!
I met up with Megan and James and we headed back down to the finish line to wait for Denise since she had run the half. She came in 14 minutes after I did and finished her half marathon in 2:40!! I am so very proud of her and I think it's incredible that she ran 13 miles in just over two and a half hours!
We headed down the home stretch to have our pictures taken together in front of the American flag. We proudly showed our medals and I know the smiles on both of our faces were huge. I could never have done this without her. She has seen me through months of training and I owe so much of where I am now to her.
I am sore, tired, and cold but I am accomplished. I have met my third goal in my training plan and I can't wait to cross off that final goal of the half marathon in six weeks. This has been an incredible journey and through all of the illnesses, injuries, and set backs, I have learned so much about myself and my confidence level has just soared through the roof. I love where I am right now and can't wait to see how the half marathon goes in six weeks.
I. Am. Ready. Bring it on Flying Pig!
At home after finishing the race! Cold, tired, wet, and sore but I made it!
My race number, medal, and results!Friday, March 18, 2011
The weekend I've been waiting for!
Well, we've finally arrived to the weekend I've been looking forward to and training for for months now! The 15k is in less than 48 hours and I'm getting sooo excited! You're supposed to carb load two nights before and not the day prior to the race so I went to Olive Garden with Megan and James tonight and indulged in breadsticks and spaghetti to get my carbs in. Tomorrow it's probably going to be a strictly soup diet so I don't have any stomach issues on Sunday morning.
Tonight consists of mainly cleaning my room because it currently looks like a tornado went through it. It's amazing how awful it looks. Believe it or not, my suitcase from the cruise I went on in December is still laying in the middle of my room. haha Plus I need to change my sheets and pillow cases since I came down with strep this week so I'm not sleeping on germs. Blah.
Tomorrow Denise and I are headed to the race expo to pick up our packets with our numbers and timing chips in them. Since Jon is out of town, we're going to have the kids so we're bringing them with us and then doing lunch after somewhere. I'm definitely excited for some girl bonding time, even with the kids. :-)
After we get back from the expo, I'm going to hang out with Joe for a bit who is home on spring break. I haven't seen him since Christmas so it'll be fun to hang out and catch up. Then it'll be home to head to bed early to be well rested for the 15k!
Sunday morning I'm meeting Denise at her house at 6:15 (in the morning!) so we can head downtown to meet Shana who is running the half with Denise and give us time to get in line to use the bathroom before starting our run. There will be porta potties on the course but my hope is to not have to stop and use them. We'll see how that works out though.
Vince gets in Sunday night and I can't wait to see him! I don't think we have anything specific planned for his visit other than to just hang out and relax after coming down off of busy quarters. I haven't seen since him since before Christmas so I'm looking forward to a couple days of catching up and spending time together.
I'll probably be out of commission until he leaves on Tuesday so I'll update again then. Wish me luck and say a little prayer for me on Sunday morning! I may pop in Sunday afternoon long enough to give an update with how I did and then follow up with details after Vince leaves. :-)
Tonight consists of mainly cleaning my room because it currently looks like a tornado went through it. It's amazing how awful it looks. Believe it or not, my suitcase from the cruise I went on in December is still laying in the middle of my room. haha Plus I need to change my sheets and pillow cases since I came down with strep this week so I'm not sleeping on germs. Blah.
Tomorrow Denise and I are headed to the race expo to pick up our packets with our numbers and timing chips in them. Since Jon is out of town, we're going to have the kids so we're bringing them with us and then doing lunch after somewhere. I'm definitely excited for some girl bonding time, even with the kids. :-)
After we get back from the expo, I'm going to hang out with Joe for a bit who is home on spring break. I haven't seen him since Christmas so it'll be fun to hang out and catch up. Then it'll be home to head to bed early to be well rested for the 15k!
Sunday morning I'm meeting Denise at her house at 6:15 (in the morning!) so we can head downtown to meet Shana who is running the half with Denise and give us time to get in line to use the bathroom before starting our run. There will be porta potties on the course but my hope is to not have to stop and use them. We'll see how that works out though.
Vince gets in Sunday night and I can't wait to see him! I don't think we have anything specific planned for his visit other than to just hang out and relax after coming down off of busy quarters. I haven't seen since him since before Christmas so I'm looking forward to a couple days of catching up and spending time together.
I'll probably be out of commission until he leaves on Tuesday so I'll update again then. Wish me luck and say a little prayer for me on Sunday morning! I may pop in Sunday afternoon long enough to give an update with how I did and then follow up with details after Vince leaves. :-)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Strep throat
I'm sitting here at home on the couch in the middle of the afternoon when I should be at work. I woke up yesterday morning with what felt like a scratchy throat and by the end of the day at work, it had started to hurt. I was up and down all night last night because it hurt so bad. I text my boss at 6:15 this morning and told her I needed to go see a doctor because I thought I had strep and sure enough I was right. It didn't even take the test the full seven minutes to come back positive. The nurse practicioner I saw was surprised I knew that it was strep and I told her I went through this in May when I last had strep. I'm not really surprised because it's been floating around our preschool so I knew it was just a matter of time before I got sick again.
The funny thing is is that I don't even feel sick. My throat just hurts. Otherwise I feel great. I have so much energy and the weather is so gorgeous out that I really want to go for a run but with the 15k being Sunday I can't chance a run today. I need to save my energy for Sunday. I'm getting soooo excited for the race! Denise and I are headed to the Expo on Saturday to pick up our packets and check out some running gear. I can't wait to cross that finish line Sunday morning and prove to myself just how capable I am of doing something like this. This will be my longest run yet and I am pumped for it!
So instead of working and going for a run I'm laying on the couch watching March Madness. I actually really need to go clean my room but I don't really feel like it. It needs cleaned though. I'm tired of tripping over my suitcase from December when I went to the Bahamas. lol
I'm anxiously awaiting grades to be posted. I'm pretty sure I bombed my Career Development final. I got the exam in front of me and completely blanked out. The multiple choice and true/false questions were okay but the fill in the blank were awful. I couldn't remember any of them so I just started writing stuff in hoping it was right. I told my friend Jen I couldn't turn in a graduate level exam with the whole front page blank. My second final was pretty decent considering I didn't study for it. She was right when she said we'd remember stuff from the text and our projects. There was only one question I didn't know the answer to. I feel good about it but we'll see when grades came in how I really did.
I had a scary moment when I was driving home from the doctor today. Since I have student health insurance, I can only access health care on campus so I had to drive 30 minutes just to see a doctor. Well, on my drive home I was talking to Denise and not paying attention to my speed...until I passed a cop! I quicky looked down and I was doing 70 in a 55. Whoops! Somehow the cop either didn't feel like pulling me over or hadn't clocked my speed because he never pulled me over. I kept anxiously checking my rear view mirror and he never left his spot. I told Denise I'm lucky I didn't get pulled over because I can't afford another ticket since I just had one in September!
Okay, enough rambling. I guess I'll go be productive and clean my room. Or watch basketball. haha
The funny thing is is that I don't even feel sick. My throat just hurts. Otherwise I feel great. I have so much energy and the weather is so gorgeous out that I really want to go for a run but with the 15k being Sunday I can't chance a run today. I need to save my energy for Sunday. I'm getting soooo excited for the race! Denise and I are headed to the Expo on Saturday to pick up our packets and check out some running gear. I can't wait to cross that finish line Sunday morning and prove to myself just how capable I am of doing something like this. This will be my longest run yet and I am pumped for it!
So instead of working and going for a run I'm laying on the couch watching March Madness. I actually really need to go clean my room but I don't really feel like it. It needs cleaned though. I'm tired of tripping over my suitcase from December when I went to the Bahamas. lol
I'm anxiously awaiting grades to be posted. I'm pretty sure I bombed my Career Development final. I got the exam in front of me and completely blanked out. The multiple choice and true/false questions were okay but the fill in the blank were awful. I couldn't remember any of them so I just started writing stuff in hoping it was right. I told my friend Jen I couldn't turn in a graduate level exam with the whole front page blank. My second final was pretty decent considering I didn't study for it. She was right when she said we'd remember stuff from the text and our projects. There was only one question I didn't know the answer to. I feel good about it but we'll see when grades came in how I really did.
I had a scary moment when I was driving home from the doctor today. Since I have student health insurance, I can only access health care on campus so I had to drive 30 minutes just to see a doctor. Well, on my drive home I was talking to Denise and not paying attention to my speed...until I passed a cop! I quicky looked down and I was doing 70 in a 55. Whoops! Somehow the cop either didn't feel like pulling me over or hadn't clocked my speed because he never pulled me over. I kept anxiously checking my rear view mirror and he never left his spot. I told Denise I'm lucky I didn't get pulled over because I can't afford another ticket since I just had one in September!
Okay, enough rambling. I guess I'll go be productive and clean my room. Or watch basketball. haha
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Finals week
It's officially finals week at UC. Finally. I never thought this week would come. This has been an awful quarter and I'm so ready for it to be over. Not only has it been rough academically, but health wise it has sucked. I'm ready for spring. Granted, I have to start studying for the boards but hopefully that won't leave me as traumatized as this quarter has.
I don't know why but this quarter has just really been a struggle for me. It's not even like my classes are difficult. In fact, I actually enjoyed Career Development more than I expected to. But for whatever reason, I feel like I spent more time doing work this quarter than I have for any other quarter of grad school in the last two years, including the fall when I took Stats! I have never been so ready to put a quarter behind me as I am this one.
Maybe it's just because it's winter quarter. I hated winter quarter during undergrad. The weather sucks, I always have a touch of depression in the winter, and it just leaves me feeling discouraged. Spring quarter has always been one of my favorites and hopefully it'll be the same this year. We'll see.
In the last 48 hours I think I've only gotten a total of about nine hours of sleep. I've put a lot of time into my Career Development studying since he changed up the test format for the final. I have NO idea what to study for Preventive Counseling because the professor hasn't lectured at all this quarter and told us we'd walk away with what we needed to know from reading the textbook and doing our group projects. Well, guess what? I did my project AND I read the WHOLE textbook (a first in my two years of grad school!) and I still don't feel like I learned anything. I have no idea what to study for that final tonight at 7 so I'm going into it blind and I'll just wing it. I don't know what more I can do.
I'm just so ready for this quarter to be over. It's even taken a toll on my job because I've been spacing out and so not paying attention. Even the kids have picked up on my tension because they've all been wound up and off the walls. Maybe once finals are over I'll be back to my normal self. If I don't, my boss just might have my head.
Vince comes in on Sunday night and I am SO excited to see him! I took Monday and Tuesday off of work to spend with him and I can't wait to just relax and let myself go for two whole days. We have no plans other than to have dinner with some of my work friends Monday night and for once I'm okay with that. We're both coming off of crazy busy quarters so I think we're both looking forward to the opportunity to just relax.
Plus, Sunday morning is my big 15k!! The weather looks promising right now...65 and sunny! Perfect! Denise and I are going to car pool together and then Megan and James will be waiting for me at the finish line with a plain bagel with peanut butter and orange juice in hand. I'm a lucky, lucky girl to have such amazing friends who cleared their schedules to be there when I finish. I'm so pumped for this race. After this, Flying Pig Half Marathon here I come!
I better run. I need to get my comptuer shut down and start the walk across campus in the rain for my first final. Boo. Only about five more hours and this quarter is OVER!!
I don't know why but this quarter has just really been a struggle for me. It's not even like my classes are difficult. In fact, I actually enjoyed Career Development more than I expected to. But for whatever reason, I feel like I spent more time doing work this quarter than I have for any other quarter of grad school in the last two years, including the fall when I took Stats! I have never been so ready to put a quarter behind me as I am this one.
Maybe it's just because it's winter quarter. I hated winter quarter during undergrad. The weather sucks, I always have a touch of depression in the winter, and it just leaves me feeling discouraged. Spring quarter has always been one of my favorites and hopefully it'll be the same this year. We'll see.
In the last 48 hours I think I've only gotten a total of about nine hours of sleep. I've put a lot of time into my Career Development studying since he changed up the test format for the final. I have NO idea what to study for Preventive Counseling because the professor hasn't lectured at all this quarter and told us we'd walk away with what we needed to know from reading the textbook and doing our group projects. Well, guess what? I did my project AND I read the WHOLE textbook (a first in my two years of grad school!) and I still don't feel like I learned anything. I have no idea what to study for that final tonight at 7 so I'm going into it blind and I'll just wing it. I don't know what more I can do.
I'm just so ready for this quarter to be over. It's even taken a toll on my job because I've been spacing out and so not paying attention. Even the kids have picked up on my tension because they've all been wound up and off the walls. Maybe once finals are over I'll be back to my normal self. If I don't, my boss just might have my head.
Vince comes in on Sunday night and I am SO excited to see him! I took Monday and Tuesday off of work to spend with him and I can't wait to just relax and let myself go for two whole days. We have no plans other than to have dinner with some of my work friends Monday night and for once I'm okay with that. We're both coming off of crazy busy quarters so I think we're both looking forward to the opportunity to just relax.
Plus, Sunday morning is my big 15k!! The weather looks promising right now...65 and sunny! Perfect! Denise and I are going to car pool together and then Megan and James will be waiting for me at the finish line with a plain bagel with peanut butter and orange juice in hand. I'm a lucky, lucky girl to have such amazing friends who cleared their schedules to be there when I finish. I'm so pumped for this race. After this, Flying Pig Half Marathon here I come!
I better run. I need to get my comptuer shut down and start the walk across campus in the rain for my first final. Boo. Only about five more hours and this quarter is OVER!!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Looking for suggestions!
I'm sitting here on the couch, staring out at our backyard and cursing the fact that it's snowing...again. I freaking hate Ohio weather. We've had so many days of 50 degree weather lately and now it's snowing again. Granted, it's not supposed to accumulate (at least not here in Cincinnati it's not) but the point is is that it's 30 degrees and snowing outside. I thought we were past this and moving on to spring. Blah.
I had an interesting hour and a half phone call with Mike last night about religion and spirituality which was sparked by a facebook comment that Vince made. I went into the phone call intending to prove Mike wrong and instead, I ended up with more questions than answers. I'm looking forward to finals being over because I want to dig deeper on some of the topics we were talking about. Next quarter is going to be a little bit easier than this quarter so I'll have some extra time to really dig into the Word and find out just what it is that the Bible says on certain topics.
The conversation came at a perfect time for me because I've felt like I've been in a valley and a funk lately so I love that I'm excited about getting back into my Bible reading again. I truly believe God brings people around at the time you need them most so He knew I needed that conversation with Mike last night.
I was home sick today...again. I think this time it may have been something I ate. We had tacos for dinner at Tym and Amy's apartment last night and my mom asked me if we had cooked the meat all the way. I thought we had but maybe we didn't. Or maybe I just ate too much. I don't know. All I know is I tossed and turned with an upset stomach last night and then woke up this morning with stomach cramps and vomiting. I finally fell asleep around 8ish and slept until 1:30 this afternoon. I was able to eat a bland peanut butter sandwich this afternoon but my stomach is still queasy. I can't open our refrigerator without getting nauesous from the smell of the hard boiled eggs my mom made last night.
Finals are on Tuesday. I really need to start studying. I arranged to leave work early on Tuesday so I could study for a few solid hours before my Career Development final, which is the one I'm worried the most about. I'm glad he gave us a study guide this time around and I'm hoping it will help.
Alright, finally what I need suggestions for. I'm creating a new playlist for the Heart Mini Marathon 15k I'm running next weekend and I'm looking for suggestions of fun, upbeat songs to keep me going. I'm getting pretty tired of my playlist so anything is welcome!
I'm off to study. This quarter is almost over...!
I had an interesting hour and a half phone call with Mike last night about religion and spirituality which was sparked by a facebook comment that Vince made. I went into the phone call intending to prove Mike wrong and instead, I ended up with more questions than answers. I'm looking forward to finals being over because I want to dig deeper on some of the topics we were talking about. Next quarter is going to be a little bit easier than this quarter so I'll have some extra time to really dig into the Word and find out just what it is that the Bible says on certain topics.
The conversation came at a perfect time for me because I've felt like I've been in a valley and a funk lately so I love that I'm excited about getting back into my Bible reading again. I truly believe God brings people around at the time you need them most so He knew I needed that conversation with Mike last night.
I was home sick today...again. I think this time it may have been something I ate. We had tacos for dinner at Tym and Amy's apartment last night and my mom asked me if we had cooked the meat all the way. I thought we had but maybe we didn't. Or maybe I just ate too much. I don't know. All I know is I tossed and turned with an upset stomach last night and then woke up this morning with stomach cramps and vomiting. I finally fell asleep around 8ish and slept until 1:30 this afternoon. I was able to eat a bland peanut butter sandwich this afternoon but my stomach is still queasy. I can't open our refrigerator without getting nauesous from the smell of the hard boiled eggs my mom made last night.
Finals are on Tuesday. I really need to start studying. I arranged to leave work early on Tuesday so I could study for a few solid hours before my Career Development final, which is the one I'm worried the most about. I'm glad he gave us a study guide this time around and I'm hoping it will help.
Alright, finally what I need suggestions for. I'm creating a new playlist for the Heart Mini Marathon 15k I'm running next weekend and I'm looking for suggestions of fun, upbeat songs to keep me going. I'm getting pretty tired of my playlist so anything is welcome!
I'm off to study. This quarter is almost over...!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Little blessings
I've been in a funk for the last couple of weeks and I finally managed to come out of it in the last 24 hours. I've been dealing with some things that have happened and things that have been said to me and just trying to process what God has planned for me during the next year of my life.
After some serious soul searching and some much needed tears and talks with the people who have upset me, I decided to let everything go and BELIEVE that God has a plan for me and that He isn't done with me yet. After all, my word of the year for 2011 is believe and if I give up now, I'm letting Satan win. God never gives us more than we can handle and this is no different. I know this is vague and I prefer to leave it that way. I just simply want to remind myself that it's all about belief and trusting that God's plan is always better.
I need to write this entry to talk about the little blessing that came my way tonight. As everyone knows, I'm training for a half marathon that I'll run on May 1st. I'm still a very slow runner but I absolutely love running and the confidence it has given me. Since starting my training I've run two 5k's and a 10k with a 15k lined up for this month on the 20th as my last big race before the half marathon.
Well, I kept putting off registering for the race because of different financial problems that have come up and had planned on registering with my tax refund, which then went to my car and the stupid fuel pump that needed replaced. Since I put it off, I was at a point tonight that I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to afford to run it and was planning on giving up the race and just doing a regular 9 mile long run that weekend. I mentioned it in passing to Denise yesterday at church who then mentioned it to Jon last night.
Jon and Denise have decided that I've come too far in my training and have been looking forward to this race for too long to let me give it up now. Jon told Denise I have worked too hard to get to this point that money should not be the issue for why I can't run a race that I've been looking forward to for months. They have offered to pay my registration so that I can run the 15k in two weeks!
I kept telling Denise at the gym tonight that I can't ask her and Jon to do that, especially since she's running the half marathon that morning and that race is more expensive than mine. She told me that I wasn't asking, that they were offering because I've worked too hard and have come too far to give up on a race I've been looking forward to for months now. I teared up while we were running on the treadmill because their support has meant the world to me as I've been training for the last several months.
I honestly could not make this without them. They are my biggest cheerleaders and push me when I don't think I can go any further. To pay for a race I've been looking forward to for months is just another reason why they are such a blessing to me. Without such an incredible support system, I probably would have abandoned my training months ago and just tossed this aside as one of my many crazy ideas that I never saw through. With Denise and Jon in my life, this is one goal I'll actually meet. I can't wait to cross that finish line on May 1st and prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to. What an incredible feeling that will be.
After some serious soul searching and some much needed tears and talks with the people who have upset me, I decided to let everything go and BELIEVE that God has a plan for me and that He isn't done with me yet. After all, my word of the year for 2011 is believe and if I give up now, I'm letting Satan win. God never gives us more than we can handle and this is no different. I know this is vague and I prefer to leave it that way. I just simply want to remind myself that it's all about belief and trusting that God's plan is always better.
I need to write this entry to talk about the little blessing that came my way tonight. As everyone knows, I'm training for a half marathon that I'll run on May 1st. I'm still a very slow runner but I absolutely love running and the confidence it has given me. Since starting my training I've run two 5k's and a 10k with a 15k lined up for this month on the 20th as my last big race before the half marathon.
Well, I kept putting off registering for the race because of different financial problems that have come up and had planned on registering with my tax refund, which then went to my car and the stupid fuel pump that needed replaced. Since I put it off, I was at a point tonight that I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to afford to run it and was planning on giving up the race and just doing a regular 9 mile long run that weekend. I mentioned it in passing to Denise yesterday at church who then mentioned it to Jon last night.
Jon and Denise have decided that I've come too far in my training and have been looking forward to this race for too long to let me give it up now. Jon told Denise I have worked too hard to get to this point that money should not be the issue for why I can't run a race that I've been looking forward to for months. They have offered to pay my registration so that I can run the 15k in two weeks!
I kept telling Denise at the gym tonight that I can't ask her and Jon to do that, especially since she's running the half marathon that morning and that race is more expensive than mine. She told me that I wasn't asking, that they were offering because I've worked too hard and have come too far to give up on a race I've been looking forward to for months now. I teared up while we were running on the treadmill because their support has meant the world to me as I've been training for the last several months.
I honestly could not make this without them. They are my biggest cheerleaders and push me when I don't think I can go any further. To pay for a race I've been looking forward to for months is just another reason why they are such a blessing to me. Without such an incredible support system, I probably would have abandoned my training months ago and just tossed this aside as one of my many crazy ideas that I never saw through. With Denise and Jon in my life, this is one goal I'll actually meet. I can't wait to cross that finish line on May 1st and prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to. What an incredible feeling that will be.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
On my political soap box
This is your warning. I'm going to get up on my political soap box so if you don't want to hear it, I advise you to leave now. With that being said, here goes nothing.
Today the Ohio Senate passed Senate Bill 5, a bill that I, as a current and future educator, am strongly opposed to. I don't know all of the logistics of the current bill, but the biggest factor of it angers me as an educator. Under this bill, public employees are no longer going to be allowed to do collective bargaining. What this means for me as an educator is that I can kiss my union goodbye. Public employees will no longer have the ability to negotiate their contracts and their benefits, such as health care, retirement plans, vacation time, and sick days. Under this same bill, educators will no longer be paid on a salary scale based on their degree and the number of years they've worked, but instead will be paid on a merit scale, meaning that districts will be paid by their test scores. The lower your test scores, the lower you're paid district wide. It's not fair to those teachers who bust their asses to make sure their students excel while other teachers sit back and don't care because they know they're getting paid regardless of how much (or how little) work they put into their jobs.
On top of Senate Bill 5 in Ohio, there is a current national bill in the House of Representatives that the House majority just recently passed. H.R. 1 is calling for cuts of $10.6 billion for fiscal year 2011. This bill will eliminate the elementary and secondary school counseling program, which is funded at $55 million. It will also include cuts to other crucial programs such as Pell Grants and Tech Programs.
What does this mean for me? It pretty much means I'm screwed. As the whole world knows, I'm working towards a Master's in School Counseling. If they cut the elementary and secondary school counseling program, then that means my degree is pretty much obsolete. Does this mean UC is going to give me my money back if my degree is now going to be non-existent? How the hell am I spending three years of my life working towards a degree that I may not be able to use in the next couple of years? Had I known about this, I would have chosen to pursue my Master's in something else. Instead, I chose education because it's what I'm passionate about. I know teaching itself isn't my passion but counseling is. I chose school counseling because I love the education field and I want to make a difference in the lives of students who are experiencing problems such as child abuse, alcoholism, and other issues that make them at risk for dropping out of school and not going to college. I want to be that advocate, the person who shows them they have options. I love everything about education. I just know teaching isn't my passion.
I don't understand these legislators who think that my job isn't important. How can they think an English teacher can do my job?? If I have to have a license to do what I want to do, then how are you going to sit here and tell me you can cut my job and just have a teacher handle the scheduling and testing? When are they supposed to have time to teach if they're worrying about testing and scheduling? It's no wonder then that our students aren't passing tests and making the grade. Their teachers are being asked to do jobs that aren't in their job description and not being given enough time to actually teach. This is why my job is crucial. I handle the testing, the scheduling, and the mental health piece of the student's day so that the teachers can do what they're hired for-to teach.
I admire all the things that teachers do and all the experiences they go through in the classroom with their students but I don't think it's fair that my job is one of the first put on the chopping block simply because the teachers are supposedly capable of handling what I will have spent three years and two national exams being certified for. It's not right and it's not fair.
Educators, we need to take a stand and oppose these pieces of legislation that are attempting to step on our toes and threaten our jobs. I'm not going down without a fight. I haven't busted my ass for two years to get to this point where I'm simply a year and an internship away from a job that I'm passionate about. I didn't waste all of this money on a degree that will become obsolete because legislators think they know what's best for our districts and our students. It's time we make a stand and be the voice that our students can't be. We need to fight for our jobs, our districts, and our students. I'm not going down without a fight. This isn't over. If we don't take a stand, the education system in America is just going to continue going down the drain. It's time to fight to take our schools back and give our students the education that they deserve.
Today the Ohio Senate passed Senate Bill 5, a bill that I, as a current and future educator, am strongly opposed to. I don't know all of the logistics of the current bill, but the biggest factor of it angers me as an educator. Under this bill, public employees are no longer going to be allowed to do collective bargaining. What this means for me as an educator is that I can kiss my union goodbye. Public employees will no longer have the ability to negotiate their contracts and their benefits, such as health care, retirement plans, vacation time, and sick days. Under this same bill, educators will no longer be paid on a salary scale based on their degree and the number of years they've worked, but instead will be paid on a merit scale, meaning that districts will be paid by their test scores. The lower your test scores, the lower you're paid district wide. It's not fair to those teachers who bust their asses to make sure their students excel while other teachers sit back and don't care because they know they're getting paid regardless of how much (or how little) work they put into their jobs.
On top of Senate Bill 5 in Ohio, there is a current national bill in the House of Representatives that the House majority just recently passed. H.R. 1 is calling for cuts of $10.6 billion for fiscal year 2011. This bill will eliminate the elementary and secondary school counseling program, which is funded at $55 million. It will also include cuts to other crucial programs such as Pell Grants and Tech Programs.
What does this mean for me? It pretty much means I'm screwed. As the whole world knows, I'm working towards a Master's in School Counseling. If they cut the elementary and secondary school counseling program, then that means my degree is pretty much obsolete. Does this mean UC is going to give me my money back if my degree is now going to be non-existent? How the hell am I spending three years of my life working towards a degree that I may not be able to use in the next couple of years? Had I known about this, I would have chosen to pursue my Master's in something else. Instead, I chose education because it's what I'm passionate about. I know teaching itself isn't my passion but counseling is. I chose school counseling because I love the education field and I want to make a difference in the lives of students who are experiencing problems such as child abuse, alcoholism, and other issues that make them at risk for dropping out of school and not going to college. I want to be that advocate, the person who shows them they have options. I love everything about education. I just know teaching isn't my passion.
I don't understand these legislators who think that my job isn't important. How can they think an English teacher can do my job?? If I have to have a license to do what I want to do, then how are you going to sit here and tell me you can cut my job and just have a teacher handle the scheduling and testing? When are they supposed to have time to teach if they're worrying about testing and scheduling? It's no wonder then that our students aren't passing tests and making the grade. Their teachers are being asked to do jobs that aren't in their job description and not being given enough time to actually teach. This is why my job is crucial. I handle the testing, the scheduling, and the mental health piece of the student's day so that the teachers can do what they're hired for-to teach.
I admire all the things that teachers do and all the experiences they go through in the classroom with their students but I don't think it's fair that my job is one of the first put on the chopping block simply because the teachers are supposedly capable of handling what I will have spent three years and two national exams being certified for. It's not right and it's not fair.
Educators, we need to take a stand and oppose these pieces of legislation that are attempting to step on our toes and threaten our jobs. I'm not going down without a fight. I haven't busted my ass for two years to get to this point where I'm simply a year and an internship away from a job that I'm passionate about. I didn't waste all of this money on a degree that will become obsolete because legislators think they know what's best for our districts and our students. It's time we make a stand and be the voice that our students can't be. We need to fight for our jobs, our districts, and our students. I'm not going down without a fight. This isn't over. If we don't take a stand, the education system in America is just going to continue going down the drain. It's time to fight to take our schools back and give our students the education that they deserve.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Trying to hold on
I'm struggling. Last night's entry was just the beginning. I get like this at the end of every quarter. Or so it feels anyway. I start to feel restless and ready to make a change. I'm so glad I'm graduating before UC converts to semesters because I don't know how anyone does this for 16 weeks. I'm so over my 10 week quarter at this point.
I don't know why I constantly want more than I have. I know there's a reason for every season of life that you walk through but for whatever reason, I just can't shake this current funk I'm in. It makes me upset to think that (it seems anyway) that everyone has what I want. Marriage, a home away from their parents, and now they're starting in on families. I know I chose this path and I believe whole heartedly that this is God's plan for my life but man, sometimes this loneliness sucks. And it's not even about being lonely. I was telling one of my co-workers yesterday that even if I found someone I wanted to date, I wouldn't have time for him. Between work, school, and training for the half marathon, I don't have time to date.
I know that God is supposed to be my all and I know that He gives you the desires of your heart as you trust in Him and follow His plan for your life. If that's the case, then why do I get myself into these funks? Why do I constantly feel as if something is missing?? This doesn't hit often but man when it does hit it hurts and it sucks.
Quite honestly, my big thing right now is wanting to be in Denver. I have never felt so torn between two places before. I miss the part of my life that is out in Denver, the strong connection with the people who are so much like me it's scary. But I know that, on the other hand, when (if)I do move out there, that then my heart will miss this part of my life and the people here who make every day of my life so incredible.
I'm just at a loss right now. I don't like feeling as if things are in an upheaval. I wish things could get squared away with my internship (don't even get me started on that rant!) because then maybe some of this stress would melt into the woodwork. I think the uncertainty of next year and then next summer is really starting to get to me. If I could just get things squared away and lined up, then I would be fine. Or I hope.
I need to go for a drive to my favorite spot on the river and just sit there and think. If I didn't have class in an hour and a half I would be headed there right now. Instead, I'm sitting here in the student center where I just got done crying on the phone with my sister. I was doing homework and then she called me, followed shortly by Mike calling from Denver. Why he called me in the middle of the day I'm still not sure because we have a phone date scheduled for tonight. It did my heart a world of good though to be able to sit and vent for about half an hour and to have the sensible side of me listen and actually give me feedback. I'm looking forward to talking again tonight because he gets me like no one else does. My mom always said gay guys make the best of friends and she is so right. My life would be a mess without him.
Okay I should probably start making my way across campus to class. Blah. I'm so glad this quarter is over in two weeks.
I don't know why I constantly want more than I have. I know there's a reason for every season of life that you walk through but for whatever reason, I just can't shake this current funk I'm in. It makes me upset to think that (it seems anyway) that everyone has what I want. Marriage, a home away from their parents, and now they're starting in on families. I know I chose this path and I believe whole heartedly that this is God's plan for my life but man, sometimes this loneliness sucks. And it's not even about being lonely. I was telling one of my co-workers yesterday that even if I found someone I wanted to date, I wouldn't have time for him. Between work, school, and training for the half marathon, I don't have time to date.
I know that God is supposed to be my all and I know that He gives you the desires of your heart as you trust in Him and follow His plan for your life. If that's the case, then why do I get myself into these funks? Why do I constantly feel as if something is missing?? This doesn't hit often but man when it does hit it hurts and it sucks.
Quite honestly, my big thing right now is wanting to be in Denver. I have never felt so torn between two places before. I miss the part of my life that is out in Denver, the strong connection with the people who are so much like me it's scary. But I know that, on the other hand, when (if)I do move out there, that then my heart will miss this part of my life and the people here who make every day of my life so incredible.
I'm just at a loss right now. I don't like feeling as if things are in an upheaval. I wish things could get squared away with my internship (don't even get me started on that rant!) because then maybe some of this stress would melt into the woodwork. I think the uncertainty of next year and then next summer is really starting to get to me. If I could just get things squared away and lined up, then I would be fine. Or I hope.
I need to go for a drive to my favorite spot on the river and just sit there and think. If I didn't have class in an hour and a half I would be headed there right now. Instead, I'm sitting here in the student center where I just got done crying on the phone with my sister. I was doing homework and then she called me, followed shortly by Mike calling from Denver. Why he called me in the middle of the day I'm still not sure because we have a phone date scheduled for tonight. It did my heart a world of good though to be able to sit and vent for about half an hour and to have the sensible side of me listen and actually give me feedback. I'm looking forward to talking again tonight because he gets me like no one else does. My mom always said gay guys make the best of friends and she is so right. My life would be a mess without him.
Okay I should probably start making my way across campus to class. Blah. I'm so glad this quarter is over in two weeks.
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