Last night was Ebonie's wedding and the second wedding I've attended in two weeks. Since I was so sick at Bethany's wedding, it was nice to actually be able to have a good time and enjoy myself at Ebonie's. Tym went along as my date (Amy graciously allowed me to borrow her boyfriend for the evening-thanks Amy!) and I don't think I've laughed as much as I did last night in awhile. He had me cracking up on the dance floor and he learned that I have no rhythm what so ever! It was hilarious watching me try to do the Cupid Shuffle and the Booty Call! Someone should have gotten it on video because it was entertaining!
During the wedding ceremony itself, Ebonie's pastor made a comment about love being a choice. She told Ebonie and Kelvin that even when they're tired and frustrated with each other, that they should choose to love each other and work through their differences. That comment really stuck with Tym and I and we got into a huge discussion about it during the reception while we waited for dinner.
Today at church, my pastor made a comment about love being a verb and that love is something you do, and not something you feel. We were talking about sharing the love of Christ and going out into the world and showing Christ's love by our actions. As he was talking about love being a verb, I was thinking about what Ebonie's pastor had said and it made me realize how much I have to learn about love and relationships.
I told Tym as we waited for the ceremony to start that it was the season for everyone to get married and that it seemed as if everyone I knew was getting married. He rolled his eyes and was like, "We talk about this everyday!" to which I told him that we didn't. He started to say something about how it would be my turn eventually and I interrupted and told him that I truly was okay with everyone I know getting married but I know he didn't believe me.
However, I am okay with it because after some soul searching and heart to heart conversations with God lately, I know I'm not ready for marriage. I know I am not ready to commit to a relationship and spending the rest of my life with somebody. I have things I still need to learn about love and what it means to love someone as Christ loved the church. I want to seek the Lord first and when He feels I'm ready, then I'll be ready for that next journey in my life.
Do I get lonely? Yes. Does it upset me when everyone else is going out on dates and I'm not? Yes. Does it bother me that I have to borrow a friend's boyfriend to go to a wedding? Yes. (However I had a great time and since he knew Ebonie there was no one else I would have had more fun with!) Do I think I know who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with? Yes. (Don't even ask-only certain people know and right now I'm still praying about what it is God is showing me in regards to this person).
Even with all of this, I know I'm not at a point in my life where I believe I could give myself 100% to a relationship. God still has a lot of work to do in me and through me and once He feels I'm ready for that, then I'm ready to embark on that journey. For now, I just want to see where He's going to take me next.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Road trip
Now that I've been home for a week, I figure it's time for an update. This will probably be long, but hopefully not too long!
So we left Thursday night. I had printed out directions but since they were pretty much a straight shot, I figured I wouldn't need them until we crossed over into West Virginia, especially since the highway we were taking was the one I drove to and from school for three years. Well, we got about an hour from West Virginia and decided maybe we should turn the gps on just incase we needed it. The stupid thing took us off of the highway and onto a two lane country road that went on for miles with no stops on it. It was a good thing we had a full tank of gas or we would have been in trouble!
About 15 minutes from the West Virginia border the gps lost it altogether. It had no idea where we were and kept showing us off the road. Then, it wanted me to turn left, which would have taken me directly into the Ohio River! I figured as long as I kept going straight and the river was on my left, eventually I would run into West Virginia and sure enough I did. However, as soon as I crossed over, I ended up in some little town and had no clue where I was. The gps caught back on and started navigating to our hotel. Well, there was so much construction and it was so dark that I couldn't see where the lines were and go figure there would be a cop behind me. I'm almost positive that this cop thought I was up to no good since I had out of state plates and kept hitting my brakes to figure out where I was so he followed me for a good five miles or so before I got onto the road our hotel was on and then he went another direction. He had made me so nervous knowing he was behind me and I had no clue where I was. I'm sure he got a good laugh out of my unawareness of the area.
We finally got to the hotel and it was like something out of the Twilight Zone. I had done a search on hotels.com looking for a low cost hotel with a swimming pool that had gotten great reviews. This one was $50 for the night and had gotten great reviews on the website. The pool was an afterthought by the time we got there anyway because it was midnight and we just wanted to sleep. We found out the next day it was drained anyway! The hotel gave us the creeps but we're like, "It's only for a few hours and it's cheap we'll just deal." The creepiness just continued as Megan asked the guy when the continental breakfast was (it had been on their website) and he replied with this twangy accent "Well, our restaurant burned down in a fire eight months ago." At that point Megan and I were both thinking, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" but we just took our stuff and went to our room.
We got in and got our second wind and Megan kept repeating what the guy had said in her own version of his twang and had me cracking up. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! We had been watching a movie on Lifetime and when it was over, I turned off the tv and went to roll over to go to sleep when I felt something in my bed! I didn't want to turn on the lights so I'm still feeling around and to me it feels like a t-shirt. That did it for me! I turned on the lights and was yelling at Megan that there was someone's shirt in my bed and all I had to do was take one look at her face to know it was hers! Sure enough, I turned around and it was! Apparently she had thrown her shirt at me and I had never known it! That ended up giving us the giggles as I threw it back at her and I think we finally fell asleep at about 2:30 in the morning.
We got up Friday to make the rest of the drive and decided after driving for a couple of hours that maybe we should stop for lunch. I was starting to feel lightheaded because I hadn't eaten and we were driving curvy mountain roads so I wanted some food in my stomach. We stopped at a little travel plaza where Megan had pizza and Starbucks and I opted for Burger King. Well, about an hour further into our drive after that I looked at Megan (I was still driving) and was like, "I have to pull over." She tried to convince me to keep driving since we had just stopped an hour ago and I was like, "No you don't understand. Either I have to pull over or I'm going to get sick in the car." I stopped at a gas station and as soon as I got in the bathroom it was all over. (Sorry TMI I know). I was so sick that I couldn't stop shaking and as I got back in the car, I kept alternating between cold chills and hot flashes. Megan ended up having to drive the final three or four hours and we had to stop at least one other time so I could get sick.
We checked into the hotel and I was feeling okay because I had napped. That feeling didn't last long though. By the time we reached the room, I was lightheaded again and felt like I was going to pass out. I was in the fetal position on the bed with my eyes closed because the room kept spinning. We went to get the rest of our stuff from the car and I told myself that I would nap for an hour and then shower to get ready for the rehearsal dinner (all the out of town guests were invited) and I'd be fine. I ended up sleeping from 4 on Friday afternoon until 9 on Saturday morning. I woke up here and there through the night but I was pretty out of it until morning. When I did wake up, I'd feel horrible knowing we were supposed to have been at the dinner and then because Megan was spending the entire evening by herself when it was supposed to be our vacation.
Saturday morning I felt great. I was able to eat breakfast and shower and I made it through the wedding ceremony just fine. The reception was another story. Apparently I kept zoning and Megan had to keep calling my name to get my attention. I guess I even carried on a conversation with one of Bethany's co-workers and I don't even remember it! We made it through about two hours of the reception and then I was ready to leave. I was feeling okay and was like, "Let's go get dinner and maybe I'll feel better" only that didn't happen. I ate and was right back in bed in the fetal position because I felt like I was going to be sick.
I managed to become semi-coherent that evening to get a paper written that I had due on Monday but other than that, my weekend was a bust. I finally felt good on Sunday, the day we had to drive home. I got sick once that morning but afterwards, it was like the sickness just finally disappeared.
The only conclusion we can all come to is that I had gotten food poisoning from the Burger King I had eaten. Megan had drank after me prior to us stopping and she never once got sick but I did. I was miserable for an entire weekend and I still feel horrible for feeling as if I ruined our vacation. I know I didn't have that great of a time and I'm sure Megan didn't, even though she tells me she did. I'm still mad at myself for looking forward to it for months and then I ended up so miserable I couldn't even enjoy it.
I'm probably going to try and visit Bethany over winter break so we can actually spend some time together. She kept apologizing at the reception for not being able to spend more time with us and I kept telling her she was being silly, that it was her wedding day and she shouldn't feel bad for not being able to devote herself to us. I told her that's what our next visit was for!
All in all, the trip could have been a lot better. Next time I know not to stop at that travel plaza and you better believe I'll never forget which one it was!
For now, I'm off to work on a final project I have due on Monday. Pictures from the weekend to come later!
So we left Thursday night. I had printed out directions but since they were pretty much a straight shot, I figured I wouldn't need them until we crossed over into West Virginia, especially since the highway we were taking was the one I drove to and from school for three years. Well, we got about an hour from West Virginia and decided maybe we should turn the gps on just incase we needed it. The stupid thing took us off of the highway and onto a two lane country road that went on for miles with no stops on it. It was a good thing we had a full tank of gas or we would have been in trouble!
About 15 minutes from the West Virginia border the gps lost it altogether. It had no idea where we were and kept showing us off the road. Then, it wanted me to turn left, which would have taken me directly into the Ohio River! I figured as long as I kept going straight and the river was on my left, eventually I would run into West Virginia and sure enough I did. However, as soon as I crossed over, I ended up in some little town and had no clue where I was. The gps caught back on and started navigating to our hotel. Well, there was so much construction and it was so dark that I couldn't see where the lines were and go figure there would be a cop behind me. I'm almost positive that this cop thought I was up to no good since I had out of state plates and kept hitting my brakes to figure out where I was so he followed me for a good five miles or so before I got onto the road our hotel was on and then he went another direction. He had made me so nervous knowing he was behind me and I had no clue where I was. I'm sure he got a good laugh out of my unawareness of the area.
We finally got to the hotel and it was like something out of the Twilight Zone. I had done a search on hotels.com looking for a low cost hotel with a swimming pool that had gotten great reviews. This one was $50 for the night and had gotten great reviews on the website. The pool was an afterthought by the time we got there anyway because it was midnight and we just wanted to sleep. We found out the next day it was drained anyway! The hotel gave us the creeps but we're like, "It's only for a few hours and it's cheap we'll just deal." The creepiness just continued as Megan asked the guy when the continental breakfast was (it had been on their website) and he replied with this twangy accent "Well, our restaurant burned down in a fire eight months ago." At that point Megan and I were both thinking, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" but we just took our stuff and went to our room.
We got in and got our second wind and Megan kept repeating what the guy had said in her own version of his twang and had me cracking up. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! We had been watching a movie on Lifetime and when it was over, I turned off the tv and went to roll over to go to sleep when I felt something in my bed! I didn't want to turn on the lights so I'm still feeling around and to me it feels like a t-shirt. That did it for me! I turned on the lights and was yelling at Megan that there was someone's shirt in my bed and all I had to do was take one look at her face to know it was hers! Sure enough, I turned around and it was! Apparently she had thrown her shirt at me and I had never known it! That ended up giving us the giggles as I threw it back at her and I think we finally fell asleep at about 2:30 in the morning.
We got up Friday to make the rest of the drive and decided after driving for a couple of hours that maybe we should stop for lunch. I was starting to feel lightheaded because I hadn't eaten and we were driving curvy mountain roads so I wanted some food in my stomach. We stopped at a little travel plaza where Megan had pizza and Starbucks and I opted for Burger King. Well, about an hour further into our drive after that I looked at Megan (I was still driving) and was like, "I have to pull over." She tried to convince me to keep driving since we had just stopped an hour ago and I was like, "No you don't understand. Either I have to pull over or I'm going to get sick in the car." I stopped at a gas station and as soon as I got in the bathroom it was all over. (Sorry TMI I know). I was so sick that I couldn't stop shaking and as I got back in the car, I kept alternating between cold chills and hot flashes. Megan ended up having to drive the final three or four hours and we had to stop at least one other time so I could get sick.
We checked into the hotel and I was feeling okay because I had napped. That feeling didn't last long though. By the time we reached the room, I was lightheaded again and felt like I was going to pass out. I was in the fetal position on the bed with my eyes closed because the room kept spinning. We went to get the rest of our stuff from the car and I told myself that I would nap for an hour and then shower to get ready for the rehearsal dinner (all the out of town guests were invited) and I'd be fine. I ended up sleeping from 4 on Friday afternoon until 9 on Saturday morning. I woke up here and there through the night but I was pretty out of it until morning. When I did wake up, I'd feel horrible knowing we were supposed to have been at the dinner and then because Megan was spending the entire evening by herself when it was supposed to be our vacation.
Saturday morning I felt great. I was able to eat breakfast and shower and I made it through the wedding ceremony just fine. The reception was another story. Apparently I kept zoning and Megan had to keep calling my name to get my attention. I guess I even carried on a conversation with one of Bethany's co-workers and I don't even remember it! We made it through about two hours of the reception and then I was ready to leave. I was feeling okay and was like, "Let's go get dinner and maybe I'll feel better" only that didn't happen. I ate and was right back in bed in the fetal position because I felt like I was going to be sick.
I managed to become semi-coherent that evening to get a paper written that I had due on Monday but other than that, my weekend was a bust. I finally felt good on Sunday, the day we had to drive home. I got sick once that morning but afterwards, it was like the sickness just finally disappeared.
The only conclusion we can all come to is that I had gotten food poisoning from the Burger King I had eaten. Megan had drank after me prior to us stopping and she never once got sick but I did. I was miserable for an entire weekend and I still feel horrible for feeling as if I ruined our vacation. I know I didn't have that great of a time and I'm sure Megan didn't, even though she tells me she did. I'm still mad at myself for looking forward to it for months and then I ended up so miserable I couldn't even enjoy it.
I'm probably going to try and visit Bethany over winter break so we can actually spend some time together. She kept apologizing at the reception for not being able to spend more time with us and I kept telling her she was being silly, that it was her wedding day and she shouldn't feel bad for not being able to devote herself to us. I told her that's what our next visit was for!
All in all, the trip could have been a lot better. Next time I know not to stop at that travel plaza and you better believe I'll never forget which one it was!
For now, I'm off to work on a final project I have due on Monday. Pictures from the weekend to come later!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Teaser
Teaser details for when I get home:
--Long drive on Thursday in which the gps got us lost and wanted us to turn right into the river on the scenic route (which is not the way we wanted to go!)
--Checking into this podunk hotel in the middle of nowhere West Virginia (I know how to pick em let me tell you!)
--Making the last half of the drive yesterday and being so miserably sick I had to pull over so I could throw up and let Megan drive
--Spending the first 17 hours of my time in Raleigh sleeping
--An amazingly beautiful Christ centered wedding :-)
--Completing my first grad school paper
And I'm sure there will be more random details of our trip home tomorrow. :-P
--Long drive on Thursday in which the gps got us lost and wanted us to turn right into the river on the scenic route (which is not the way we wanted to go!)
--Checking into this podunk hotel in the middle of nowhere West Virginia (I know how to pick em let me tell you!)
--Making the last half of the drive yesterday and being so miserably sick I had to pull over so I could throw up and let Megan drive
--Spending the first 17 hours of my time in Raleigh sleeping
--An amazingly beautiful Christ centered wedding :-)
--Completing my first grad school paper
And I'm sure there will be more random details of our trip home tomorrow. :-P
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Vacation!!
After looking forward to this for months, I am finally leaving for Raleigh, North Carolina tomorrow!! Megan and I are driving halfway tomorrow night and spending the night in Charleston, West Virginia before driving the last leg of the trip on Friday morning.
Megan, me, and Bethany-Newport on the Levee-April 2005
I can't believe that Bethany is getting married on Saturday. I remember way back to freshman year of college (ok so way back is an exaggeration...more like five years ago!) when we met and decided we didn't need men to make us happy and were completely happy to be single and having fun. Now she's getting married to an amazing man of God and I couldn't be more excited for her!
I'm sure the road trip is going to involve lots of randomness because it's Megan and I, which means there will also be lots of pictures! For now, I leave you with this one of us back in the spring of 2005 (mine and Bethany's sophomore year of college) when Bethany came to Cincinnati for the weekend for a concert! I'm sure I'll have at least one picture with the bride to be this weekend so you can see us now as compared to then. :-)
Megan, me, and Bethany-Newport on the Levee-April 2005
Have a great weekend everyone!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Rant
I'm going to rant for the length of this entry so feel free to leave now. I don't want to hear any comments like "Your time is coming" or "Learn to tell people no." I really just want to vent and get it out of my system before I lose it on someone.
Do not ask me to pick you up at the airport and then not pay to put gas in my car. That's a good 45 minute drive and a quarter tank of gas there and back. I have better things to do and I live paycheck to paycheck. That quarter tank of gas adds up quick.
I am so tired of hearing about everyone's boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm tired of having to do relationship counseling. I'm tired of listening to you rant and rave and then the next day gush about how great they are. Damn it, quit rubbing in my face about this and that. Just once I would love to have someone realize that there are some of us who aren't lucky enough to be dating someone and that we're lonely and don't always want to hear about your significant other.
I'm also tired of people not telling me things and having to find out from facebook/twitter. I mean, come on now. Don't hint around at something and then have me find out from a website that you were doing exactly what I thought you were doing. I have feelings and it hurts a whole hell of a lot more that you don't tell me things than if you were to actually tell me.
Just once, I wish I could be able to tell someone exactly how I feel when I'm feeling it. Instead, I let the moment pass. I am so tired from not being able to sleep lately because I have too much on my mind. I haven't slept in in weeks. I really want a day off to do nothing. Instead, even on my "days off" I'm constantly catching up on my to do list. The list keeps growing and I have no time for it all.
Ugh, I really just want to scream. I should be in bed but instead I'm going to try and get something accomplished before bed. I just want to run away from the whole world and instead, I keep taking on more.
Do I feel better? Nope, not at all. Will I get some backlash from this? Probably but oh well. I don't even care at this point.
P.S.-I did have a good point this weekend but that will have to wait until I'm calmed down enough to write about it.
Do not ask me to pick you up at the airport and then not pay to put gas in my car. That's a good 45 minute drive and a quarter tank of gas there and back. I have better things to do and I live paycheck to paycheck. That quarter tank of gas adds up quick.
I am so tired of hearing about everyone's boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm tired of having to do relationship counseling. I'm tired of listening to you rant and rave and then the next day gush about how great they are. Damn it, quit rubbing in my face about this and that. Just once I would love to have someone realize that there are some of us who aren't lucky enough to be dating someone and that we're lonely and don't always want to hear about your significant other.
I'm also tired of people not telling me things and having to find out from facebook/twitter. I mean, come on now. Don't hint around at something and then have me find out from a website that you were doing exactly what I thought you were doing. I have feelings and it hurts a whole hell of a lot more that you don't tell me things than if you were to actually tell me.
Just once, I wish I could be able to tell someone exactly how I feel when I'm feeling it. Instead, I let the moment pass. I am so tired from not being able to sleep lately because I have too much on my mind. I haven't slept in in weeks. I really want a day off to do nothing. Instead, even on my "days off" I'm constantly catching up on my to do list. The list keeps growing and I have no time for it all.
Ugh, I really just want to scream. I should be in bed but instead I'm going to try and get something accomplished before bed. I just want to run away from the whole world and instead, I keep taking on more.
Do I feel better? Nope, not at all. Will I get some backlash from this? Probably but oh well. I don't even care at this point.
P.S.-I did have a good point this weekend but that will have to wait until I'm calmed down enough to write about it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Exhausted
I am exhausted. I am drained of any and all energy I have had in the last couple of months. I need a day to relax and instead I just keep taking on more. School is keeping me busy but I've been so tired that last night I came home from work and was passed out on the couch in a matter of an hour. I'm now three chapters behind in my reading. :-/
As if I don't have enough to do, I took on a baby-sitting job for four hours on Saturday morning, on a day when I could sleep in. I just keep telling myself-every little bit for next weekend's North Carolina trip will help.
So here's the run down of what just this weekend will look like:
Tomorrow:
Work 8-5
Dinner with Adge
Running with Denise (hopefully...I've had some issues with my shins and my knee this past week and my knee still isn't doing much better)
Sleeping
Friday:
Working 8-5 (maybe off early because we've already figured out that we're only going to have 6 kids at the most in my classroom)
Getting an oil change in my car
Dinner with Adge and her dad?
Maybe movie night with the girls?
Saturday:
Baby-sitting 10-2
Getting some reading done
Blue Ash for the fireworks with some friends
Sunday:
Church
Finishing up reading
Hopefully going to the gym
Picking my parents up from the airport
I need a mental health day. I did take a day off in August but that's still a month off. Ugh. I am sooo tired. I'm going to switch laundry over and then I'm going to go pass out.
As if I don't have enough to do, I took on a baby-sitting job for four hours on Saturday morning, on a day when I could sleep in. I just keep telling myself-every little bit for next weekend's North Carolina trip will help.
So here's the run down of what just this weekend will look like:
Tomorrow:
Work 8-5
Dinner with Adge
Running with Denise (hopefully...I've had some issues with my shins and my knee this past week and my knee still isn't doing much better)
Sleeping
Friday:
Working 8-5 (maybe off early because we've already figured out that we're only going to have 6 kids at the most in my classroom)
Getting an oil change in my car
Dinner with Adge and her dad?
Maybe movie night with the girls?
Saturday:
Baby-sitting 10-2
Getting some reading done
Blue Ash for the fireworks with some friends
Sunday:
Church
Finishing up reading
Hopefully going to the gym
Picking my parents up from the airport
I need a mental health day. I did take a day off in August but that's still a month off. Ugh. I am sooo tired. I'm going to switch laundry over and then I'm going to go pass out.
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