Late night thoughts

It's not really that late, but everyone in the house is asleep and I'm tired but refuse to let my eyes close for some reason. I'm spending the night with my cousins but they passed out on me early so I've been playing on my uncle's laptop since my internet at home is so fickle lately.

I went Christmas shopping today with Tym, which was fun. My stepdad is completely finished, as are Logan and Savannah. I need to get one more thing for Makayla, then I have to buy for my mom and my sister. I also got my sister in our immediate family gift exchange so I have to buy something for that too. Other than that, I have a couple of friends to shop for, not that I know what I'm getting anyone.

I really need to get my e-mails sent out about recommendation letters. I need two more for UC, and three for OU. I'm thinking about asking my former boss, three of my OU professors, and then that leaves me with needing one more recommendation, if everyone agrees to it. I'd like to have all the letters back to me by December 20th at the very latest so I can get my applications sent in right after. I started doing my electronic application for UC tonight but got stuck not knowing who my references were so I have to wait to complete it.

I'm so scared of not getting into grad school anywhere, but I was this same way with my undergrad applications. I need to stop stressing because if I'm meant to go back this fall, it will happen. If not, then I'll just apply again for next year. My sister made a comment the other day when I told her how I did on the GRE (I got an 870 unofficially by the way) about how I always underestimate myself and how smart I am.

She's right. I do second guess myself a lot and I think a lot of it stems from my past. I need to stop second guessing everything I do and learn to believe in myself. I think I would be a lot happier if I did so.

Ok, I need to go take the movie out that the girls had in and then I should crash. Night all.