Big changes are coming...I think?

For the last two weeks, I've felt as if God is tugging on my heart and trying to get my attention. What it is He's trying to tell me, I still haven't deciphered, but I'm working on it. We've been talking in our small group and with the youth lately about dying to ourselves and doing things outside of our comfort zone that we clearly know God is calling us to do, even when we ourselves don't think we are capable of doing them.

This is where I am right now. I can clearly hear God calling me to start reaching out to other young adults in our church, people who are not involved in other groups and people I think could benefit from the fellowship and growth that our group has experienced together. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I don't personally know some of these people, though I can sense God pushing me to reach out. I don't do well in new social situations so this is holding me back from reaching out to them. I know I need to get over this hump because we've been talking about our group needing to grow and reach out so I need to stop being stubborn and let God lead this to where it needs to go.

Along with that, I've been involved with our youth group since last fall when I volunteered to chaperone fall retreat. Since then, I have been actively attending Sunday evenings and even Sunday morning during Sunday school. God has laid it on my heart to become more involved with the girls in the group and start pouring into their lives even more than I already do. Seth has organized a girls night out in August during which I'm hoping to get a feel for what it is they need and want. Seth is obviously a man so he can't understand some of their teenage struggles and I want them to know they have a woman they can look up to and turn to when they need someone.

Again, the only problem with this is that I feel as if I'm incapable of doing this. God has called me to work with these youth and invest in their lives but yet I hold myself back because I let myself think that I can't do it. Seth has asked me if I have interest in teaching occasionally on Sunday nights and after praying about it, I feel as if it's something I'm being led to do but I'm letting my silly human emotions get in the way of the work God wants to do with this group.

I'm also sensing Him working in my own personal life in areas I'm not fully ready to disclose yet. Some of it is relationships, some of it is friendships, and some of it is my future after grad school. I'm praying and journaling and trying to make sense of where God is trying to lead me. I know He'll never give me more than I can handle so I need to shake off these feelings of being incapable and roll with what God is leading me to do. I think He could do great things through me if I could only let Him have control.