A life lived in fear...

....is no life lived at all.

In the wake of the terrible tragedy in Newtown, CT yesterday, my heart hurts. I can't even begin to imagine the pain these families are feeling, especially so close to Christmas. When the news broke during my lunch break yesterday, I sat in the lobby of the preschool I work in with a couple of my coworkers, just stunned into silence. Going about the rest of my day was next to impossible, especially because we weren't allowed to discuss it so we wouldn't upset our kids. I couldn't even have the radio on in my classroom because they kept breaking in with news updates. It wasn't until late last night when I was watching the news that I finally let the tears fall and I cried for the victims and for how we, as a society, have failed the person responsible for such an attack.

How often do we shun those we consider "outsiders?" How often do we make fun of those who are different from us? How hard is it to walk across a room and say hello to someone else, someone who may be different from us? As an educator, my heart hurts for the fact that this was a former student who may have slipped through the cracks. Our nation shuns those who seek professional mental health care and we make it next to impossible to gain access to such care. How different our nation could be if only we made it easier for those to gain access to the help they need. How different our nation could be if we only loved each other the way God calls us to love.

In the light of all that's happened, I made my final decision about Teach for America. I am definitely applying and have decided that I am going to all in: I'm putting myself out there for re-location instead of playing it safe and asking to be placed here. There are SO many school districts around the country where students are slipping through the cracks and being forgotten about. I have ALWAYS wanted to be that educator who reminds students that they have a future, that they have potential, and that they have at least one person who cares for them.

As my entry title says, a life lived in fear is no life lived at all. I am young and there is NO reason for me to fear taking this next step. I knew that my current job at the preschool was temporary until I could finish school. Teach for America is an incredible opportunity and there is NO reason for me to fear taking the next step to further my career as I moved towards being a school counselor. I do not want to live my life in fear and with regrets.

Here's to taking the next step and stepping out on faith. I'll be praying like crazy for the next couple of months as I submit my application and wait to hear if I move on to the next round of phone interviews. Don't wait to go after something you want. We aren't promised tomorrow and there's no reason for us to live in fear and with regrets. Here's to living for today. :)