Last night I decided on a whim to stop by the library on my way home. I haven't been to the West Chester library since the new branch opened about a year ago and since I wasn't feeling well, I wanted something to read. I got a new library card (it's been that long since I've been there!) and started exploring the shelves when I stumbled across this book called Never the Bride by Cheryl McKay and Rene Gutteridge. Since we all know I'm a sap and complain about how I'm always the bridesmaid and never the bride, I decided to check this book out without even reading the back of the book to see what it was about.
I started it last night and fell asleep about two chapters in thanks to my cold meds and then read some more on my lunch break today. I hated to put it down and finished it tonight in a hot bath after movie night with my mom. This book was my life in a nutshell. The main character, Jessie, was in her thirties, but other than that, she could have been telling my life story. The best part of the whole book? It was given from a Christian perspective and was about her struggle to give God the pen to her love story. I laughed, I cried, I groaned, and I rejoiced throughout the whole book. I don't want to share more details because I think it's a must read, but it got me thinking, which is the point of this post.
In the book, Jessie struggles to understand why she's single. She looks for love in all the wrong places and you can't help but groan during a couple of chapters when she's setting herself up for disaster by dating a man you know is clearly wrong for her. As I read those chapters, I couldn't help but ask myself how many times I've done that too. God's timing isn't good enough for me so I have eyes for the first guy who shows me attention, thinking that he is the answer God is clearly giving me. After all, he showed up in my life at just the right moment. Clearly this is what God wants isn't it?
I can't tell you how many times since high school that this scene has played out in my life and how many times I have been left broken hearted because of it. When am I going to give God the pen to my journal and let Him write my love story? How long will I keep taking back control instead of letting Him write this beautiful story He knows is best for me?
That's what this year of not dating is all about. It's about trusting, believing, and knowing that God's way is best and that if I allow Him to, He has a beautiful story for my future. It may not be the future that I envision with the person I envision and dream of, but it will be the right future because it will be one that He ordains and scripts out for me. There is nothing I want more than that future, even if it means waiting.
4 comments:
Way to go, Heather! Rene Gutteridge posted a link to your blog on Facebook, and I'm glad I clicked on it. It was so encouraging to read it. I, too, am single. Never married. But I'm 45 years old. I've struggled for years with my desire for a husband. Even tried online dating, with near-disastrous results. But by the grace of God, I've actually come to the place where I'm content to be single if that's what He has for me. And if He does have a husband for me at this late stage in my life, I'm trusting Him to bring him. I'm not interested in dating - that's such a superficial way to get to know someone anyway. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your post. It's so refreshing to see that someone else is letting God "write their love story."
Heather, Thank you for writing about our book in such an insighful and honest way. I'm glad you enjoyed it and that it's part of encouraging you on your journey.
-Cheryl
Deanna I'm glad my blog post could be encouraging. I tend to use my blog to pour out my heart and soul so I'm glad people other than my friends are reading it. I would love to be able to hear more on your thoughts and your journey if you'd be willing to share them. I clicked on your name but couldn't access your profile so if you have a blog I'd love to read it. :-)
Cheryl, you're very welcome. I just happened to stumble upon the book at the library and I loved it. Thank you for writing it!
Hi Heather. Ironically, I write for a living and have a professional website, but I don't have a blog. I don't think my story is that outstanding, though. I just got to the place where God is more than enough for me. If He ever was to send me a husband, that would just be the icing on the cake. And I got to this place by His grace alone, so I can't take any credit for it! I did send a Friend request to you in Facebook if you'd like to know anything more. :-)
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