Now, I'm sure based off of the title alone, everyone is going to assume I'm boy crazy or something along those lines. Instead, I want to share some thoughts that have been floating through my head that tonight I just need to get out because I want the world to know how great they are. I told these same guys tonight that I was going home to sleep because I have to work early so that's what I should be doing but I've been tinkering with this in my mind for awhile and want to get it out.
Back in high school, when I first became a Christian, I heard over and over again that we should be praying for our future husbands, especially for someone who loves the Lord and is going to be the spiritual leader in our relationship. I think quite a few of us girls went through the time in our lives where we "gave up dating for a year" after reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye and whatever those other dating books were. Several of us have (or had) lists in the back of our Bibles of the characteristics we wanted in our future husbands. Some of my friends wrote letters to their future husbands faithfully (I've tried and my future husband is lucky if I remember twice a year to write to him. You'd think being a blogger it would come easy but nope I forget about that journal quite often...). As girls, we talked often about what our futures would look like, the types of weddings we wanted, etc. etc.
Well, I've learned that God's plans are far greater than my own and while I'm not currently in any type of relationship, I am surrounded by some pretty amazing Christian men who show me on a regular basis what it means to love the Lord. These guys in my life exemplify Christ in the ways that they live their lives. They encourage me, make me laugh, and invest in my life and my spiritual walk with God by asking me how they can pray for me. When I have a bad day, I know that I can talk to any of these guys and they will find a way to make me laugh, talk me through whatever is going on in my life, and find a way to encourage me. At the end of the day, I know that they are praying for me, which means more to me than any of them know.
With so many of my girlfriends in serious relationships, getting married, and having babies, I'm finding it's getting harder and harder to find someone to spend time with regularly. These amazing guys include me in their circle, even though other than one's girlfriend, I'm the only girl. They go out of their way to make sure they include me in the plans they make. They even crazily asked me if I wanted to go to Cedar Point this weekend...silly boys! I don't do roller coasters and they know that, but they wanted to make sure that I knew I was included. They even grudgingly put up with my weird eating habits, which says a lot for them. They may tease me about it, but in the end, they accept me for who I am, strange habits and all.
I can't find the words to even begin to tell you how incredible these men are. They show me constantly what it means to be treated with respect. They hold doors open for me, they listen when I talk, and they ask for my input when we're discussing just about anything (except roller coasters of course...). These guys show me what I deserve to have in a future husband and they are the reason that I am holding out for the best. I deserve someone who loves the Lord the way that they do, someone who treats me with respect, and accepts me for me. What they probably don't realize is that someday, they're going to make amazing husbands and when I pray for my own future husband, I am also praying for their wives, that they will find someone with these same qualities and who loves the Lord as much as they do.
I may be single and I may complain about it here and there, but at the end of the night, these men remind me of what I'm holding out for. They are the best examples of Christ in my life other than my Pastor, my small group leaders, and our youth leader. I am so lucky and so blessed that God has given them to me, to show me how it is a woman deserves to be treated, and to show me what it's like to love the Lord more than they could anyone else. I can't imagine how different my life would be without them.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
The one with interests
The other day, I had to go into the bank to deposit some money my parents had given me. While I was there, I got into a conversation with my favorite teller Alex. Let me start by saying that of all the branches of my bank in the area, the one closest to my work is my favorite. They are the friendliest people and everytime I go in, especially if there are no other customers aroumd, I end up chatting with Lauren and Alex (my two favorite tellers) for at least half an hour about anything and everything. I've never been one to talk to people for long periods of time that I'm not good friends with, but for some reason, these two get me talking every time I walk into the bank.
Anyway...Alex and I were chatting the other day and he was telling me about these dance classes his wife takes, just for the fun of it. Somehow the conversation shifted from there to the fact that I do not have an athletic or artistic bone in my body. He got a good laugh out of the fact that I said I trip over my own feet and have no hand eye coordination and that my kiddos in my classroom make fun of the drawings I do, even my stick figures, because they never turn out well. Then, he asked a question that stumped me and has had me thinking all week. He asked me what I was interested in.
Wait...what?? I used to have answers that rolled right off of my tongue back in high school and college. Now, I had to stop and actually think about it. I told him that I've always been good with words, and that I love to write, even when I don't do it as often anymore. I also told him about my love for reading, which got us into a long conversation about books and recommendations of books we should read.
I left the bank that day with my brain swirling. How is it that I've gotten to be where I am right now, but I have no idea as to what interests me anymore? What do I do with all of my spare time? How have I gotten so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that I have no idea what I liked to do in my spare time? Well, I took this week to give it some serious thought and here's what I came up with:
1. I love to read. I have a crazy obsession with my kindle ever since I got it for Christmas and I spend hours looking for free or discounted books to read. I've found several series that I wouldn't otherwise have read if they hadn't popped up as recommendations on my reading list. I also love actual books. I walked into the library the other day because I'm poor and can't afford books on my kindle right now. When I walked in, I stopped and just breathed in the scent of books all around me. I could spend HOURS purusing a bookstore or a library, just looking at covers and reading book jackets. It's by far one of my favorite solo activities.
2. I love words. I love to write. I have journals tucked into shoeboxes in my closets that I spent hours filling with my dreams, hopes, woes, and thoughts from high school all the way through college. I am constantly having ideas for blog entries swirling through my head but never take the time to sit down and type them all out. Sometimes I write for an audience. Other times I write for myself. When I'm upset, my favorite thing to do is to take out my journal and just write until it's all out of my system. Writing for me is the best and cheapest form of therapy there is.
3. I love to run. Well, okay, I have a love/hate relationship with running. I hate it because it's not something I'm great at and I'm slow and will probably never run a full marathon but I love it because when I'm out running, it's the one time I'm not thinking of anything else. I can clear my head and focus on my breathing, the scenery around me, and the music playing on my IPod. Along with writing, it also is the cheapest and best form of therapy there is.
4. I love to travel and I love reading about travel. I can't count the number of hours I've spent purusing the internet and pinterest for pictures, travel blogs, and tips about traveling. My family loves Disney and I love to vacation with my family, but that's the one place they are content to go. I, on the other hand, have a two page (and growing!) list in my journal of all the places I want to go. Italy, France, England, Ireland, Greece, Spain...plus all the places Stateside that I want to go. I want to see it all! I was bit by the traveling bug when my stepdad took us on our first real vacation to Gatlinburg back in high school and ever since, I've been fascinated by all these places that I've only ever read about in books.
I don't know how I've gotten so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that I let myself lose focus on the things that interest me and that I love. I'm grateful to Alex, that he made me slow down this week and zone in on the things I love. I have a completely different blog floating through my head about doing activities such as traveling solo but I figured this one would be long enough so I'll save that one for another night. I can only hope that I will stop and take time out, even if for just 20 minutes a day, to do something for myself and remember the little things in life that I enjoy the most.
Anyway...Alex and I were chatting the other day and he was telling me about these dance classes his wife takes, just for the fun of it. Somehow the conversation shifted from there to the fact that I do not have an athletic or artistic bone in my body. He got a good laugh out of the fact that I said I trip over my own feet and have no hand eye coordination and that my kiddos in my classroom make fun of the drawings I do, even my stick figures, because they never turn out well. Then, he asked a question that stumped me and has had me thinking all week. He asked me what I was interested in.
Wait...what?? I used to have answers that rolled right off of my tongue back in high school and college. Now, I had to stop and actually think about it. I told him that I've always been good with words, and that I love to write, even when I don't do it as often anymore. I also told him about my love for reading, which got us into a long conversation about books and recommendations of books we should read.
I left the bank that day with my brain swirling. How is it that I've gotten to be where I am right now, but I have no idea as to what interests me anymore? What do I do with all of my spare time? How have I gotten so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that I have no idea what I liked to do in my spare time? Well, I took this week to give it some serious thought and here's what I came up with:
1. I love to read. I have a crazy obsession with my kindle ever since I got it for Christmas and I spend hours looking for free or discounted books to read. I've found several series that I wouldn't otherwise have read if they hadn't popped up as recommendations on my reading list. I also love actual books. I walked into the library the other day because I'm poor and can't afford books on my kindle right now. When I walked in, I stopped and just breathed in the scent of books all around me. I could spend HOURS purusing a bookstore or a library, just looking at covers and reading book jackets. It's by far one of my favorite solo activities.
2. I love words. I love to write. I have journals tucked into shoeboxes in my closets that I spent hours filling with my dreams, hopes, woes, and thoughts from high school all the way through college. I am constantly having ideas for blog entries swirling through my head but never take the time to sit down and type them all out. Sometimes I write for an audience. Other times I write for myself. When I'm upset, my favorite thing to do is to take out my journal and just write until it's all out of my system. Writing for me is the best and cheapest form of therapy there is.
3. I love to run. Well, okay, I have a love/hate relationship with running. I hate it because it's not something I'm great at and I'm slow and will probably never run a full marathon but I love it because when I'm out running, it's the one time I'm not thinking of anything else. I can clear my head and focus on my breathing, the scenery around me, and the music playing on my IPod. Along with writing, it also is the cheapest and best form of therapy there is.
4. I love to travel and I love reading about travel. I can't count the number of hours I've spent purusing the internet and pinterest for pictures, travel blogs, and tips about traveling. My family loves Disney and I love to vacation with my family, but that's the one place they are content to go. I, on the other hand, have a two page (and growing!) list in my journal of all the places I want to go. Italy, France, England, Ireland, Greece, Spain...plus all the places Stateside that I want to go. I want to see it all! I was bit by the traveling bug when my stepdad took us on our first real vacation to Gatlinburg back in high school and ever since, I've been fascinated by all these places that I've only ever read about in books.
I don't know how I've gotten so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that I let myself lose focus on the things that interest me and that I love. I'm grateful to Alex, that he made me slow down this week and zone in on the things I love. I have a completely different blog floating through my head about doing activities such as traveling solo but I figured this one would be long enough so I'll save that one for another night. I can only hope that I will stop and take time out, even if for just 20 minutes a day, to do something for myself and remember the little things in life that I enjoy the most.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The one with the timing
It's funny that I was thinking of creating this post tonight because we discussed contentment with our youth kids tonight and it was just what I needed to hear with this blog post floating through my head.
As a 28 year old single female, I'd like to think I have my life figured out by now. Funny enough, I don't. Not even close. There are some days where I wake up and all I want to do is pull the blankets back up over my head instead of facing the obstacles I know God has planned for me for the day. Does that ever happen? Well, sometimes on a Saturday it does. I'll admit I slept until almost 3 yesterday afternoon simply because I could. And I needed it fighting off a cold.
When I look at where my life is at this present moment, it's definitely not where I planned it to be. Am I content with where I am? Well, the jury is still out on that one. Some days the answer is yes. Other days the answer is no. It all comes down to whatever has gone on that day and the mood I may be in. I am slowly learning what contentment looks like and trusting that the plans God has for my life are far better than any plan I ever had.
Back in high school, I had my life all planned out. I was going to go to college, graduate, start my career, get married, and start a family...all before I was 30. Well, I'm about a year and a half out from being 30 and so far the only things checked off of that list are going to college and graduating. I'm in a job that doesn't necessarily require a degree, I'm single, and I definitely don't have a family of my own. I'm the proud aunt of four amazing kids and another on the way, but I don't have kids of my own just yet.
Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder what I'm missing. I love my job, even if it's not my dream job. I love being a youth sponsor and a mentor. I love my small group. I love my family and friends. Every day is full of something different and most nights I go to bed exhausted. However, I wonder how often I use my busy schedule to keep myself from letting the loneliness inside of me come to the surface. About six months ago, I was having a conversation with an older lady from my church who asked me if I could sense my biological clock ticking since I'm so close to 30, unmarried, with no kids. This was said in response to talk about wedding talk with some other women from my church. I jokingly blew her comment off but inside I was seething. "How dare she say something like that to me?! She has no right to make that kind of judgment towards me!" I was livid. Then, the more I thought about it, the more it crushed me. I started to see all the couples around me planning weddings and babies and started yelling at God, asking when it was finally going to be my turn. It didn't matter that I didn't feel ready to be married yet. Clearly I was missing something because that's all people kept telling me.
Fast forward to the past several weeks. I've had conversations with friends who have asked me if I feel like I'm missing out on something because my sister is younger than me, has kids, and is buying a house. I look at them and tell them I'm perfectly content that she is the one with the children because I can spoil them rotten and I love being an aunt. Quite honestly, the one thing she has that I want the most is that she's out on her own. It takes a lot for me to admit that I'm 28 and I still live at home, especially because SO many of my high school and college friends are all living on their own. I can't afford to move out on my salary, especially with having to pay back student loans. I recently had dinner with a college friend I haven't seen in a couple of years and she asked me where I was living and when I told her at home, she asked me "How is that?" I had to think about it for a minute and honestly, it's not bad. I'm usually so busy that I'm home long enough to eat, sleep, and change my clothes. However, there's this stigma attached to being the age that I am and still being at home. It's almost shameful to admit that at 28, you still live with mommy and daddy, as if you've failed and can't make it on your own.
Then there's the issue of love. I have a separate blog planned for my thoughts on love, marriage, and relationships versus friendships (especially tied in with my favorite movie) so for this post I'll suffice it to say that being single at 28 was not part of my plan. At 28, I was hopeful that I would be married and pregnant with my first (maybe second) child. Clearly that is NOT what God has in the works for me, at least not yet. I have a medical condition that makes me unsure if I can even have children, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't yearn for a family of my own. I've gotten to a point lately where I tell people that I don't know if I want kids of my own but let me share a secret with you...I do...very much so. I came to this realization at the end of naptime the other day when I opened the curtains in my classroom to see our kindergarten assistant on the playground having a conversation with a couple of the little girls. Watching him with the kids made me remember how much I desire a man who loves children and wants a family of his own someday.
I love the story in Genesis where God fulfills His promise to Abraham and Sarah and finally blesses them with a child of their own. It gives me so much hope that if God places a desire in your life, He will fulfill that desire, but in His timing. Abraham and Sarah waited for a child for a very long time. In fact, Abraham was 100 years old when his son was finally born! If God can fulfill Abraham and Sarah's dreams at that age, I'm pretty sure me being 28 without children is NOT that big of a deal.
The one verse that gives me the most comfort is my favorite. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This is by far my all time favorite verse. The more I pray about it, and the more I live it out in my daily life, the more I find it to be true. My desires may not be God's desires for my life, and the more I turn over the keys to my life to Him, the more His desires became prevalent and prove to be far greater than anything I have ever planned for my life.
I feel as if the last year and a half especially have been teaching me contentment in every aspect of my life. I have my days where I want to take control and yell and scream and ask God when it's going to be my turn to have the things I have always wanted most: a career, a husband, and kids but then He shows me the amazing things I have in my life right now and reminds me that His plan is better than mine. I have to learn to be content in where I currently am before I can move on to the future. I, for one, can't wait to see what He has planned for me.
As a 28 year old single female, I'd like to think I have my life figured out by now. Funny enough, I don't. Not even close. There are some days where I wake up and all I want to do is pull the blankets back up over my head instead of facing the obstacles I know God has planned for me for the day. Does that ever happen? Well, sometimes on a Saturday it does. I'll admit I slept until almost 3 yesterday afternoon simply because I could. And I needed it fighting off a cold.
When I look at where my life is at this present moment, it's definitely not where I planned it to be. Am I content with where I am? Well, the jury is still out on that one. Some days the answer is yes. Other days the answer is no. It all comes down to whatever has gone on that day and the mood I may be in. I am slowly learning what contentment looks like and trusting that the plans God has for my life are far better than any plan I ever had.
Back in high school, I had my life all planned out. I was going to go to college, graduate, start my career, get married, and start a family...all before I was 30. Well, I'm about a year and a half out from being 30 and so far the only things checked off of that list are going to college and graduating. I'm in a job that doesn't necessarily require a degree, I'm single, and I definitely don't have a family of my own. I'm the proud aunt of four amazing kids and another on the way, but I don't have kids of my own just yet.
Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder what I'm missing. I love my job, even if it's not my dream job. I love being a youth sponsor and a mentor. I love my small group. I love my family and friends. Every day is full of something different and most nights I go to bed exhausted. However, I wonder how often I use my busy schedule to keep myself from letting the loneliness inside of me come to the surface. About six months ago, I was having a conversation with an older lady from my church who asked me if I could sense my biological clock ticking since I'm so close to 30, unmarried, with no kids. This was said in response to talk about wedding talk with some other women from my church. I jokingly blew her comment off but inside I was seething. "How dare she say something like that to me?! She has no right to make that kind of judgment towards me!" I was livid. Then, the more I thought about it, the more it crushed me. I started to see all the couples around me planning weddings and babies and started yelling at God, asking when it was finally going to be my turn. It didn't matter that I didn't feel ready to be married yet. Clearly I was missing something because that's all people kept telling me.
Fast forward to the past several weeks. I've had conversations with friends who have asked me if I feel like I'm missing out on something because my sister is younger than me, has kids, and is buying a house. I look at them and tell them I'm perfectly content that she is the one with the children because I can spoil them rotten and I love being an aunt. Quite honestly, the one thing she has that I want the most is that she's out on her own. It takes a lot for me to admit that I'm 28 and I still live at home, especially because SO many of my high school and college friends are all living on their own. I can't afford to move out on my salary, especially with having to pay back student loans. I recently had dinner with a college friend I haven't seen in a couple of years and she asked me where I was living and when I told her at home, she asked me "How is that?" I had to think about it for a minute and honestly, it's not bad. I'm usually so busy that I'm home long enough to eat, sleep, and change my clothes. However, there's this stigma attached to being the age that I am and still being at home. It's almost shameful to admit that at 28, you still live with mommy and daddy, as if you've failed and can't make it on your own.
Then there's the issue of love. I have a separate blog planned for my thoughts on love, marriage, and relationships versus friendships (especially tied in with my favorite movie) so for this post I'll suffice it to say that being single at 28 was not part of my plan. At 28, I was hopeful that I would be married and pregnant with my first (maybe second) child. Clearly that is NOT what God has in the works for me, at least not yet. I have a medical condition that makes me unsure if I can even have children, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't yearn for a family of my own. I've gotten to a point lately where I tell people that I don't know if I want kids of my own but let me share a secret with you...I do...very much so. I came to this realization at the end of naptime the other day when I opened the curtains in my classroom to see our kindergarten assistant on the playground having a conversation with a couple of the little girls. Watching him with the kids made me remember how much I desire a man who loves children and wants a family of his own someday.
I love the story in Genesis where God fulfills His promise to Abraham and Sarah and finally blesses them with a child of their own. It gives me so much hope that if God places a desire in your life, He will fulfill that desire, but in His timing. Abraham and Sarah waited for a child for a very long time. In fact, Abraham was 100 years old when his son was finally born! If God can fulfill Abraham and Sarah's dreams at that age, I'm pretty sure me being 28 without children is NOT that big of a deal.
The one verse that gives me the most comfort is my favorite. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This is by far my all time favorite verse. The more I pray about it, and the more I live it out in my daily life, the more I find it to be true. My desires may not be God's desires for my life, and the more I turn over the keys to my life to Him, the more His desires became prevalent and prove to be far greater than anything I have ever planned for my life.
I feel as if the last year and a half especially have been teaching me contentment in every aspect of my life. I have my days where I want to take control and yell and scream and ask God when it's going to be my turn to have the things I have always wanted most: a career, a husband, and kids but then He shows me the amazing things I have in my life right now and reminds me that His plan is better than mine. I have to learn to be content in where I currently am before I can move on to the future. I, for one, can't wait to see what He has planned for me.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The one on body image
I've been playing around with various blog topics for the last several nights but decided to start with this one after an impromptu shopping trip tonight. (No worries though because I have several started on paper that I'll get around to sharing in the next few days.)
My best friend and I decided to go for ice cream tonight and then afterwards, we popped into a clothing store, one of my favorites but that I don't shop at very often because it's on the more expensive side. I was there to share feedback on what she was trying on and ended up picking up several tank tops and a dress to try on. Then, I came across this beauty.
I'm not one to go for these type of dresses because I typically think they look better on the hanger than on me. That had been the case with both tank tops and the first dress I tried on. Imagine my surprise when this dress fit just right, as if it had been designed just for me! I kept staring at myself in the mirror, having the hardest time comprehending the image that stared back at me.
I have always struggled with my self-esteem and my body. Growing up with a father who was verbally abusive made it impossible for me to believe that I was beautiful. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't tell me that I wasn't good enough, that no one would ever love me or want to marry me because I wasn't beautiful enough. During my teen years, especially when we first moved to Cincinnati, I struggled with never feeling like I measured up. All of the girls around me at school (at least in my mind) looked like they had just stepped off of a movie set. They were skinny, beautiful, and popular-all the things I knew I would never be. It wasn't until I met one of my best friends and she invited me to church that I was able to start breaking myself of these thoughts. Giving my life to Christ taught me that my self-worth wasn't about the outer appearance, but was about my inner beauty.
As I've grown in my faith over the last 11 years, I've learned that until I learn to love myself, no one will ever be able to fully love me. I am the one who jeopardizes every friendship and relationship because in my mind, I will never measure up. I had my first serious relationship almost two years ago and it was the first time that I ever felt beautiful and worthy. Here was someone who genuinely cared about me for me and didn't make me feel as if I had to change to capture his attention. After we broke up, some of my friends gently reminded me that even though our relationship didn't last, it taught me that there are people who genuinely see me for me and who think I'm beautiful just the way I am, not the way society expects me to be.
I've spent the last year and a half growing steadily in my faith and what I read in the Bible astounds me. I am created in God's image. That means that every time I get down on myself and how I look, I am criticizing and denouncing God for who He created me to be. He thinks I am beautiful and perfect. He knitted me inside my mother's womb and knows the very number of hairs on my head. There isn't a part of me that He does not love. If that's the case, then who am I to be so hard on myself?
Self-worth comes from accepting who you are, both inside and out. It means loving every part of yourself just as God loves you. One of my favorite quotes is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." It's up to you to decide your self-worth and where it comes from. Society, friends, family, coworkers, etc. are NOT the people who decide what makes you beautiful. Your beauty comes from within and with it, comes your self-worth. God created YOU in HIS image and He thinks you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Who are you to argue with that fact?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Am I crazy?
I haven't decided if I'm crazy yet or not, but I'm entertaining the idea of going back to school and finishing up the hours needed to obtain my clinical mental health counseling license, only doing it with a Christian emphasis and becoming a Christian counselor.
I've always had the idea of being a Christian counselor and counseling couples in the church but opted for school counseling because I didn't want to take all of the classes geared towards making a diagnosis, etc etc that UC offered. Then, one night last week, I had dinner with one of my college girlfriends who asked me if I had ever thought about being a Christian counselor. On top of that, I spent yesterday at Cincinnati Christian University for a youth ministry summit and saw a slide about their counseling program and the idea has just been stuck in my head for the last 24 hours (minus the several hours I spent getting sick since I came down with a stomach bug...ugh!).
I spent this afternoon looking throught their graduate catalog and they have an amazing program set up for graduate students that allows you to make your tuition payments on a sliding payment scale, along with offering scholarships and your typical financial aid. It's too late to apply for the fall program but I am thinking about applying for next spring. Plus, since I already have a master's in counseling (though school based), I already have 10 classes that should count toward the mental health license, which is roughly 30 of the 70 hours needed towards graduation. Definitely a perk!
What do you all think? Am I crazy? I told myself after finishing at UC that I was never going back to school but with education jobs being few and far between, I feel like I have a better shot at a job if I have a mental health license as well. I feel like this could make me more marketable and eventually get me away from the preschool.
I don't know. This could just be another one of my crazy ideas. I definitely don't want to take out anymore student loans (the ridiculous amount I have right now is enough!) so this is something I'm going to have to be able to pay for and potentially get scholarships to cover. At least I have awhile before I'd even have to think about applying...
I've always had the idea of being a Christian counselor and counseling couples in the church but opted for school counseling because I didn't want to take all of the classes geared towards making a diagnosis, etc etc that UC offered. Then, one night last week, I had dinner with one of my college girlfriends who asked me if I had ever thought about being a Christian counselor. On top of that, I spent yesterday at Cincinnati Christian University for a youth ministry summit and saw a slide about their counseling program and the idea has just been stuck in my head for the last 24 hours (minus the several hours I spent getting sick since I came down with a stomach bug...ugh!).
I spent this afternoon looking throught their graduate catalog and they have an amazing program set up for graduate students that allows you to make your tuition payments on a sliding payment scale, along with offering scholarships and your typical financial aid. It's too late to apply for the fall program but I am thinking about applying for next spring. Plus, since I already have a master's in counseling (though school based), I already have 10 classes that should count toward the mental health license, which is roughly 30 of the 70 hours needed towards graduation. Definitely a perk!
What do you all think? Am I crazy? I told myself after finishing at UC that I was never going back to school but with education jobs being few and far between, I feel like I have a better shot at a job if I have a mental health license as well. I feel like this could make me more marketable and eventually get me away from the preschool.
I don't know. This could just be another one of my crazy ideas. I definitely don't want to take out anymore student loans (the ridiculous amount I have right now is enough!) so this is something I'm going to have to be able to pay for and potentially get scholarships to cover. At least I have awhile before I'd even have to think about applying...
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Excited....!!!
MY SISTER AND I ARE GOING TO THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK, 98 DEGREES, AND BOYS II MEN CONCERT IN JUNE!!!
This will now make all of my childhood bands complete except for NSync who still isn't reuniting because I have already seen NKOTB once and I've also seen Backstreet Boys live! AHHHHH!!! Let the countdown begin!!!!
You may continue on with your lives now that I've shared my exciting news! :-P
This will now make all of my childhood bands complete except for NSync who still isn't reuniting because I have already seen NKOTB once and I've also seen Backstreet Boys live! AHHHHH!!! Let the countdown begin!!!!
You may continue on with your lives now that I've shared my exciting news! :-P
Thursday, February 14, 2013
2013...the year of challenges
I used to love blogging and now, I can't even find the time (or motivation)
to sit down to type out an entry. Ever since coming home for Haiti, I've been
all about living in the moment and truly living and experiencing my life, not
just recording it. There's so much going on though, that I want to use my blog
as my way of looking back on this year and the challenges I'm bringing to
myself.
After college, I opened up my first ever credit cards. Since then, I've learned the hard way just how awful they can be and how quickly you can get yourself into trouble with them. During grad school, I had some unexpected expenses that popped up and with working limited hours, a lot of those expenses went on my cards. Now, I'm working hard to pay all of them off, most of which ended up in collections because I was barely working and couldn't pay them. I officially paid off the first card two weeks ago and have payment plans set up for all but one (which is frustrating because no matter how often I call, they won't call me back to set up a payment plan...ugh). I'm also working to get lowered payments on my student loans and it has never felt so good to see all of my money go to bills because it means my debt is slowly shrinking. My student loans will take FOREVER to be paid off because I have over $100k in student loan debt (yeah I don't want to discuss it :-/ ) but I just keep telling myself that every little bit helps.
I've been learning what it means to make and stick to a budget and I'm getting fairly good at it. I make grocery lists before I leave the house so I'm not impulse buying, all of my bills get paid before I allow myself to spend any extra money, I've been trying to plan meals to eat at home so I don't eat out very often, and any "extra" money that's not from my paycheck goes into an envelope for my vacation fund. My family is headed to Disney and Vero Beach this summer and I want to be able to fully afford it so babysitting, tutoring, and any extra money I get does not get accounted for in the budget. I have never been very good at not spending money so the fact that I've been saving for a month and haven't touched a dime of the vacation money is a good thing for me. (And for you super money conscious people who I know do the Dave Ramsey plan and are about to tell me it should go towards my debt snowball-keep your comment. I don't mean that harshly but yes I realize the money could go to "better" things, but I haven't been on vacation with my family in years and this is my way of being able to fund it myself.) I always tell myself that if it's not in the budget and it can't come out of my paycheck, then it's not important enough to buy right now.
I get paid tomorrow and I have to head to the bank so I'm planning on opening up a savings account. I want to be able to shift some of what's left over after paying bills into my savings so I can have something to fall back on. Plus, I REALLY need new tires on my car and probably a tune up, so if I stick the money in my savings, I'll have it. I'm planning on using some of my tax refund for vacation and for new running shoes (see further down) but the majority of it will go into savings so I have stuff to fall back on should something happen and I need it.
Since Haiti, I feel as if I've grown tremendously. My words for 2012 were strength and growth. I spent all last year praying and seeking out ways for the Lord to grow me and strengthen my walk with Him. Going to Haiti was a huge part of that because I had to learn to pull my strength from the Word and my friends to truly believe that the support was going to come in. I learned how strong I could be when I leaned on my faith and how much I would grow when I chose to lay down who I was for who God was calling me to be.
For the third year in a row, I’ve chosen a word instead of goals (though I do have some goals I’ve set anyway haha). My word for 2013 came during a New Year’s Eve sermon at church on surrender. I had been praying about it for weeks and after that one sermon, I started hearing the word surrender everywhere. I knew then that that’s what I needed to do this year. 2013 is all about surrendering my pride and my plans for plans that are far greater than my own. With laying down my pride, it means setting aside my stubbornness and realizing that it’s okay to ask for help! We are not meant to do life alone and the people in my life are going to love me regardless of some of my stupid choices.
I think one of my last updates was about Teach for America. I found out that I didn’t get in on the same day that I also gained weight during a weigh in for our biggest loser challenge at work. I let myself sulk for a couple of hours and then after much time spent thinking and praying about it, I realized that God just isn’t done with me here yet. I honestly can’t see myself living anywhere but Cincinnati, especially since my family and my best friends are here. I’m mentoring two amazing youth girls that I love dearly, and I’m a youth sponsor for a group of kids that I am crazy about. Plus, I have finally connected with a small group that I love and is helping me to grow and I’m just not ready to walk away from any of that right now. I’m still looking for school counseling jobs for next year and I know that regardless of what happens, this is where I’m meant to be right now.
My biggest challenge right now is that for the first time ever, I’ve decided to give something up for Lent. Typically, I take something on because I can never make myself sacrifice something I love but this year, with the idea of surrendering on my mind, I decided to prove to myself that I could do it. I went to Haiti for crying out loud! If I spent 10 days overseas living off of crackers and peanut butter, then I can certainly sacrifice something I love for six weeks to focus on my relationship with the Lord. So with all of that on my mind, I decided to give up pop for Lent. I decided it would be good for me health wise too because it’s nothing but empty calories and sugar that I just don’t need. I get a shot of caffeine in the morning from crystal light packets and then drink water the rest of the day at work. The first two days have been rough because I was drinking at least two cokes a day at work so obviously I’m not drinking as much caffeine, which is killing my mood. I feel bad for anyone who has had to deal with my crankiness the last couple of days!
I also decided if I’m giving something up, then I am also taking something on. I plan to hit the gym at least three times a week, along with spending at least 15-30 minutes a day in the Word. I want these next six weeks to be a time for health, growth, and refreshment. I want to walk away from this time of reflection and growth stronger spiritually, mentally, and physically. Christ sacrificed so much by dying on the cross for me. The least I can do is sacrifice part of my day for Him.
Some other challenges I've set for myself for this year other than finances and my spiritual life are to just be healthy. Setting my goal of three times a week at the gym during Lent is going to make it a habit that will stick long after Lent is over, which is a good thing. My friend Ron from my small group at church is a personal trainer and he's been encouraging me like crazy the last couple of weeks by commenting on my statuses when I go to the gym, "liking" my check-ins at the gym, and asking me how my workouts are. This Sunday he's going to help me figure out numbers on body fat vs. lean body mass and all of that fun stuff. It's kind of fun having a personal trainer friend, though it makes it harder to get away with not going to the gym. :-P
My friend and fellow Disney addict Andrea and I are planning on running the 2014 princess half marathon at Disney World next year. I've been saying FOREVER that I'm done with running and that you couldn't pay me to run again after I spent over a year training for the last half marathon I ran and then she pulled me right back in with two little words: Disney World. *sigh* I have decided that I'm going to take a little bit of my tax refund money and splurge on new running shoes. I need new workout shoes anyway because my old ones are shot. They offer no support and the last few times I've come home from the gym after an intense workout with feet that hurt from the lack of support and rubbing hot spots on my toes. It's definitely time for new shoes which means a trip to my favorite running store soon! :)
For once, I feel truly content in where I am. I have my moments where I mumble and grumble, but truly, 2012 was a huge year of growth for me. I never would have expected that I would be okay with where my life is right now but I am. I'm ready for 2013 and whatever challenges and experiences this year is going to bring. :)
After college, I opened up my first ever credit cards. Since then, I've learned the hard way just how awful they can be and how quickly you can get yourself into trouble with them. During grad school, I had some unexpected expenses that popped up and with working limited hours, a lot of those expenses went on my cards. Now, I'm working hard to pay all of them off, most of which ended up in collections because I was barely working and couldn't pay them. I officially paid off the first card two weeks ago and have payment plans set up for all but one (which is frustrating because no matter how often I call, they won't call me back to set up a payment plan...ugh). I'm also working to get lowered payments on my student loans and it has never felt so good to see all of my money go to bills because it means my debt is slowly shrinking. My student loans will take FOREVER to be paid off because I have over $100k in student loan debt (yeah I don't want to discuss it :-/ ) but I just keep telling myself that every little bit helps.
I've been learning what it means to make and stick to a budget and I'm getting fairly good at it. I make grocery lists before I leave the house so I'm not impulse buying, all of my bills get paid before I allow myself to spend any extra money, I've been trying to plan meals to eat at home so I don't eat out very often, and any "extra" money that's not from my paycheck goes into an envelope for my vacation fund. My family is headed to Disney and Vero Beach this summer and I want to be able to fully afford it so babysitting, tutoring, and any extra money I get does not get accounted for in the budget. I have never been very good at not spending money so the fact that I've been saving for a month and haven't touched a dime of the vacation money is a good thing for me. (And for you super money conscious people who I know do the Dave Ramsey plan and are about to tell me it should go towards my debt snowball-keep your comment. I don't mean that harshly but yes I realize the money could go to "better" things, but I haven't been on vacation with my family in years and this is my way of being able to fund it myself.) I always tell myself that if it's not in the budget and it can't come out of my paycheck, then it's not important enough to buy right now.
I get paid tomorrow and I have to head to the bank so I'm planning on opening up a savings account. I want to be able to shift some of what's left over after paying bills into my savings so I can have something to fall back on. Plus, I REALLY need new tires on my car and probably a tune up, so if I stick the money in my savings, I'll have it. I'm planning on using some of my tax refund for vacation and for new running shoes (see further down) but the majority of it will go into savings so I have stuff to fall back on should something happen and I need it.
Since Haiti, I feel as if I've grown tremendously. My words for 2012 were strength and growth. I spent all last year praying and seeking out ways for the Lord to grow me and strengthen my walk with Him. Going to Haiti was a huge part of that because I had to learn to pull my strength from the Word and my friends to truly believe that the support was going to come in. I learned how strong I could be when I leaned on my faith and how much I would grow when I chose to lay down who I was for who God was calling me to be.
For the third year in a row, I’ve chosen a word instead of goals (though I do have some goals I’ve set anyway haha). My word for 2013 came during a New Year’s Eve sermon at church on surrender. I had been praying about it for weeks and after that one sermon, I started hearing the word surrender everywhere. I knew then that that’s what I needed to do this year. 2013 is all about surrendering my pride and my plans for plans that are far greater than my own. With laying down my pride, it means setting aside my stubbornness and realizing that it’s okay to ask for help! We are not meant to do life alone and the people in my life are going to love me regardless of some of my stupid choices.
I think one of my last updates was about Teach for America. I found out that I didn’t get in on the same day that I also gained weight during a weigh in for our biggest loser challenge at work. I let myself sulk for a couple of hours and then after much time spent thinking and praying about it, I realized that God just isn’t done with me here yet. I honestly can’t see myself living anywhere but Cincinnati, especially since my family and my best friends are here. I’m mentoring two amazing youth girls that I love dearly, and I’m a youth sponsor for a group of kids that I am crazy about. Plus, I have finally connected with a small group that I love and is helping me to grow and I’m just not ready to walk away from any of that right now. I’m still looking for school counseling jobs for next year and I know that regardless of what happens, this is where I’m meant to be right now.
My biggest challenge right now is that for the first time ever, I’ve decided to give something up for Lent. Typically, I take something on because I can never make myself sacrifice something I love but this year, with the idea of surrendering on my mind, I decided to prove to myself that I could do it. I went to Haiti for crying out loud! If I spent 10 days overseas living off of crackers and peanut butter, then I can certainly sacrifice something I love for six weeks to focus on my relationship with the Lord. So with all of that on my mind, I decided to give up pop for Lent. I decided it would be good for me health wise too because it’s nothing but empty calories and sugar that I just don’t need. I get a shot of caffeine in the morning from crystal light packets and then drink water the rest of the day at work. The first two days have been rough because I was drinking at least two cokes a day at work so obviously I’m not drinking as much caffeine, which is killing my mood. I feel bad for anyone who has had to deal with my crankiness the last couple of days!
I also decided if I’m giving something up, then I am also taking something on. I plan to hit the gym at least three times a week, along with spending at least 15-30 minutes a day in the Word. I want these next six weeks to be a time for health, growth, and refreshment. I want to walk away from this time of reflection and growth stronger spiritually, mentally, and physically. Christ sacrificed so much by dying on the cross for me. The least I can do is sacrifice part of my day for Him.
Some other challenges I've set for myself for this year other than finances and my spiritual life are to just be healthy. Setting my goal of three times a week at the gym during Lent is going to make it a habit that will stick long after Lent is over, which is a good thing. My friend Ron from my small group at church is a personal trainer and he's been encouraging me like crazy the last couple of weeks by commenting on my statuses when I go to the gym, "liking" my check-ins at the gym, and asking me how my workouts are. This Sunday he's going to help me figure out numbers on body fat vs. lean body mass and all of that fun stuff. It's kind of fun having a personal trainer friend, though it makes it harder to get away with not going to the gym. :-P
My friend and fellow Disney addict Andrea and I are planning on running the 2014 princess half marathon at Disney World next year. I've been saying FOREVER that I'm done with running and that you couldn't pay me to run again after I spent over a year training for the last half marathon I ran and then she pulled me right back in with two little words: Disney World. *sigh* I have decided that I'm going to take a little bit of my tax refund money and splurge on new running shoes. I need new workout shoes anyway because my old ones are shot. They offer no support and the last few times I've come home from the gym after an intense workout with feet that hurt from the lack of support and rubbing hot spots on my toes. It's definitely time for new shoes which means a trip to my favorite running store soon! :)
For once, I feel truly content in where I am. I have my moments where I mumble and grumble, but truly, 2012 was a huge year of growth for me. I never would have expected that I would be okay with where my life is right now but I am. I'm ready for 2013 and whatever challenges and experiences this year is going to bring. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)