Exciting? Nah...

I talked to Tym tonight who made a comment about my exciting life and how I always have something going on. From the outside, it probably does look like that but I chalk it up to it being summer and this being my last big break from school until graduation. When classes start at the end of September, I'll go straight through until I graduate in March of 2012 because I have to take summer classes next summer. That thought alone makes me want to cry...

In other news, I guess the next couple of weeks really are busy. On Friday I head to Athens for the weekend to visit Vince, whom I haven't seen all summer. No, scratch that. I saw him the day after Diana's wedding for a very brief lunch in Mentor during my whirlwind less than 24 hour trip to northeast Ohio, something I have clearly been in no hurry to repeat. He moved into his apartment yesterday and I'm looking forward to some much needed Vince and Heather time. :-)

Then, when I get back on Sunday, Joe and I are headed downtown for the WEBN fireworks. I think James and Brittany may be going with us, but I'm not sure yet. Joe and I are for sure going though, which makes me happy because I love being downtown for the fireworks Labor Day weekend. It marks the end of summer in Cincinnati and the weather is supposed to be perfect!

Monday is a sleep in, clean, and relax day. My bathroom needs deep cleaned and then I need to purge my closet so I can figure out what I need for work clothes wise. A lot of my stuff from last fall and winter is too big so I need to figure out exactly what I need so I can go shopping to replenish my work stuff.

Then all I have to do is get through Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of next week at work and I leave for DENVER!!! I'll be gone for a week and I can't wait! We have so much planned and I am going to enjoy every minute of my vacation because when I get back school starts. Boo!

So other than that exciting stuff what else is going on? Well, I'm siging up to run the Race for the Cure on the 25th which is exciting! It'll be my second 5k and I'm pumped to see how well I do during that race. We were supposed to get a team together but that doesn't seem to be panning out so I'm just going to register as an individual runner because I definitely want to run it.

Some of my co-workers and I are doing a Biggest Loser weight loss competition at work. We each put in $25 and between tomorrow and December 1st we're going to have weekly weigh ins and at the end there will be a cash prize for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight. I went grocery shopping tonight and every single thing I bought was good for me. My goal is to pack my lunch each day and when I snack, to snack on things that are good for me. Now if I could only figure out how to cut out my caffeine intake and I'd be golden...

Alright, I'm done rambling. I need to get some sleep because I'm pretty sure there was no point to this entry other than to ramble so I can sleep. :-P

Counting my blessings

Tonight I am counting my blessings. With each hour that passes, my dog continues to get better and I am so grateful for more time with her. Today after church I came home to another wet spot on my niece's bed and a wet spot on the blanket we had laid out on the living room floor next to our patio door because she has been making it to the door but not outside. When I let her out, she ran straight for the yard and sat there and went to the bathroom for about three straight minutes.

I had noticed when I came in that her food dish that had once been against the wall was now out in the middle of the kitchen floor and the dog biscuit I had placed in there two days ago was gone. Since she had gone to the bathroom so well for me, I asked her if she wanted a treat and she took it and ate it! I was so ecstatic I cried. This was the first time since Wednesday night she had eaten so we knew she was finally getting better. When my mom got home, she looked at the blanket and found the stone the doctor had said she would pass. I have never been so relieved in my life. With each passing hour tonight, she has continued to improve. I was able to head out for youth group tonight able to relax and focus on my kids.

We had an event called UNight tonight that brought our youth group and about six or seven other youth groups together to worship and pray for their high schools. We had a great turnout and it was so incredible to see so many students gathered together to pray for their districts and their teachers and their own youth groups. I love being so involved with our youth group and being able to pour into them the way the adults poured into me when I was a youth.

After UNight was over, I started talking to Patty, the mom of one of my youth. She's been praying for my heart all summer, knowing what my struggles are, and has been listening to me as I try to figure out what's going on in this particular area of my life. We ended up talking for over an hour tonight and it was a much needed conversation. She is such a blessing to me and I feel like I walk away from our conversations with so much to think about. She pushes me to think and grow closer to the Lord and I love that.

As I was driving home, I was thinking about how vastly different my friendships have become in the couple of years since I graduated from college. I've gone from being friends with just people in my own age bracket to having these amazing friendships with women who are older than me, who challenge me, and encourage me to continue seeking out the Lord in everything that I do. I no longer see them as parents of my youth or people my parent's age. I now see them as friends, people I can call when I'm struggling who will pray with me and listen to me, people who I genuinely enjoy spending time with. Each woman is different from the other, but each one brings a quality to our friendship that is molding me into the woman I hope to one day become.

It amazes me to think where my life is right now. I don't think I would have ever expected this to be where God would have me but I wouldn't change any of it. I don't know what the next couple of years hold or where life will take me once I'm done with my degree, but I do know that the lessons I'm learning now will mold me into the person I'm meant to be, the person that God has created me to be and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Second chances

After last night's entry, I ended up crying myself to sleep at my aunt's house, fully expecting the worst about my dog. However, we got a second chance today. This morning, Missy still wasn't using the bathroom, eating, or drinking so my mom called me and asked me what the name and number was of the vets that go to my church. I called Megan and promptly broke down in tears and then called the Pfisters to make an appointment. After stopping at Pet Smart for a leash and collar, I headed home to take Missy to the vet with my mom.

We got in and Dr. Pfister examined Missy and told us that her bladder was extremely full. He wanted to do an xray to see what he could find out and when he came back, he told us that she had bladder stones and that he thought one might be blocking her urethra, which is why she can only dribble here and there and not actually use the bathroom. He said that we had two options. The first being that he could give her a steroid shot and some antibiotics and see if the stone would pass by itself and the second being that he could knock her out and catherize (sp??) her to see if the catheter would pass the stone. My mom opted to do the shot, which I had to leave the room for.

Here we are, about three and a half hours later, and she is finally drinking and using the bathroom. She had been dribbling here and there but she finally went so much that she couldn't hold it and peed on my niece's bed (luckily we have a mattress protector on it from when Savannah was potty training!). Now she's resting because she's been in and out going to the bathroom like crazy. All we have to do now is wait for the stone to pass because Dr. Pfister wants my mom to bring it in so he can examine it to see how we can get the rest of the stones to pass. My mom just gave her the second round of antibiotics (she got the first through the shot at the vet's office) by mixing it in with peanut butter.

I think other than obviously worrying about her condition, what we worried about the most was how she would do at the vet's office. I knew going in that Dr. Pfister was a male so I didn't know how Missy would take to him because she's always been skittish around men but she actually took right to him. I think it helps that he used soft tones to her and let her approach him first. When he came back with the xrays, she went right over and let him pet her again, which surprised us. Since she took to him so well, we've decided that we're going to continue to use the Pfister's for check-ups and stuff because we know she isn't afraid of him.

She even did well in the car, minus the moment I had to slam on my brakes because of a stupid driver in front of me and she fell on the floor. :-P She just laid there and looked out the windows and kept sticking her nose in our faces from the backseat.

I can't tell you all how relieved I am that it was nothing more serious than bladder stones. I was so afraid Dr. Pfister would tell me that her system was shutting down but when the nurse took her temp and said it was normal, I began to breathe a little easier. I'm not ready for goodbye yet so I'm glad we have a second chance with her.

And now, I am off to fulfill yet another childhood dream! Two summers ago Megan and I went to the New Kids on the Block concert when they were in Cincinnati and tonight Kelly and I are headed to see the Backstreet Boys!!! EEEEEKKK!!! I can't even tell you how excited I am! We had been tossing the idea around for awhile and finally decided we're going! I am sooo pumped! I have all of their cds and know all of their songs so I can't wait to make another dream come true!!! Tonight is going to be amazing!!

How do you mend a broken heart?

My heart is breaking in two right now and I'm not sure this break will ever heal. Yesterday, my dog spent the whole day getting sick all over our living room and acting like she had to go to the bathroom, but never actually going. She wouldn't touch her food or any treats that I tried to give her. In the middle of the night, she came into my room and climbed into bed with me and laid there groaning like she was in pain.

I can't even fathom the idea of losing her yet. I know she's getting old because we've been in Cincinnati for almost ten years and had her for a year or two before then. My mom has been saying all summer she thought this might be her last summer with us but I keep refusing to hear those words because I'm not ready to face a loss of this magnitude yet. Missy (my dog) has been my strength and comfort through some of my toughest times and darkest periods and I can't imagine losing her. My mom has said this will be our last pet and not only is this going to hurt me, but it's going to devestate Savannah. She dotes on and adores our dog and I can't imagine what this will do to her too.

My heart hurts so much right now. I just got done crying on the phone with my sister. I'm baby-sitting and had to leave the room so I could cry. I was distracted enough at work to tuck it away but it's all I've been able to think about since I clocked out at 5:30. I'm a mess. I don't know how I'm going to survive this.

Impossible is not a word

Yesterday I did something I never, ever would have imagined I could ever do. I ran my first 5k race. I never would have thought that I'd be able to run 3.1 miles or be in training for a half-marathon which is exactly what I'm doing. I've been training to run a 5k for awhile but kept making excuses as to why I couldn't do it or why I wasn't ready.

About a month ago, Denise told me about this 5k that one of her co-workers was organizing to benefit a local school's cross country team and she asked me to run with her. I finally agreed because I knew if I wanted to run the half-marathon next spring I needed to start doing small races to prepare myself for running 13.1 miles next May.

The night before the race, I laid awake until almost 12:30 telling myself I was crazy and that I couldn't do this. When I woke up Saturday morning, I felt sick to my stomach, both from my sinuses and because I still thought I couldn't do this. The closer we got to Denise's house though, the more excited I became. I knew I had worked hard up to this point and it didn't matter what my time was or how much I ran versus how much I walked but the fact was that I was going to cross that finish line no matter what it took.

We arrived about half an hour before the race started and registered. I started stretching and before I knew it it was time to gather at the starting line. When the horn when off, we started at the back but gradually made our way to the middle of the pack. Denise's husband ran the whole thing because he and Denise are training for a half marathon for next month but because Denise has already run a full marathon, she told me she would pace herself with me since it was my first race. Megan also ran with us and between the two of them, they kept me going. I had doubts during parts of the course but Denise kept reminding me of our last three mile training run in 90 degree heat and what I had told her when we were done. I had told her that I had proven to myself that I could do it and how confident it made me feel when we were done. That kept me going for the three mile run from the center of town out to the high school.

I crossed the finish line at 52:20 and not only had I completed the race in under an hour, but I had also shaved EIGHT minutes off of my last three mile training run!! I hadn't run the entire thing but it didn't matter. I had finished and that's all that mattered to me. Since Jon had run the whole race, he was waiting for us at the end of the course. Denise and Megan backed off so I could cross the finish line before them (which was very sweet since it was my first race!). As I came across the finish line, I put my arms up in victory and burst into tears because I had just proven to myself that I could do something I never thought was possible. Jon came running over and gave me a big hug and kept telling me how proud he was that I had finished and how well I had done. Right behind him were Denise and Megan, each of them waiting for me with big hugs and telling me how incredible I had done and how proud they were of me. All I could do was cry which made it impossible to catch my breath since I had run the last quarter mile. :-P

I never honestly thought this day would come. As I ran alongside Denise during her months of training for the marathon and talked about how I wanted to run 5ks and train for the half, inside I was telling myself I was all talk and that it would never happen, that it would be just another one of my plans that fell apart. Well, guess what? It's not! I completed my first race and now I'm pumped to get back to the gym tomorrow night to start training for my next race in September.

After this weekend, I now believe I can do anything I set my mind to. I am absolutely hooked on running and races and there hasn't been any greater feeling in my life up to this point than the experience of coming down that finish line and knowing I had done something I once thought was impossible and crazy. Like the lyrics to "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless say: "Impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try." Impossible is no longer a word in my vocabulary and the confidence that brings is incredible.




Denise and I after the 5k!

Without these ladies, I couldn't have done this!

With Megan before the race!

With my support system and my cheering section. I couldn't have done this on Saturday without them!

Rambles

I haven't done a real update in awhile and I feel guilty for not writing much so I figured if I just start rambling that maybe it'll make me tired enough to sleep.

There really hasn't been too much going on. I work everyday and when I'm not working I'm always on the go somewhere. It's starting to wear me down though and I asked for the morning off on Monday from work to sleep in a bit. My small group is talking about going to the Bengals-Broncos preseason game Sunday night but even if we don't go, I think I'm still going to keep the morning off just to get some rest.

My 5k is next week and I haven't run at all this week. I haven't been feeling well this week and have been having some trouble breathing so I figured running wasn't a smart idea. I'm worried that I'm not going to do well at the 5k. Denise keeps telling me it's not about the time, but about finishing so that's what I keep telling myself. I just want to finish and to run a good chunk of it.

We're having our state inspection at work tomorrow which is always fun. And when I say fun, I mean no, not really. However, I know my classroom is ready so we should be fine. I just hope my kids behave themselves. We've had a rough two weeks so I hope tomorrow goes smoothly.

My Denver trip is exactly 30 days away and I have been counting down like crazy! I've been missing the boys like crazy and can't wait to get out there for the week. Mike has a bunch of stuff planned for us and I also plan to get in some outdoor running while I'm there. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but my friend Kelly is going with me which will be fun. She's never been so I can't wait to show her why I love it so much. We're even going to check out a church while we're there so that will be fun too.

School starts next month. Blah. Part of me is ready to get back but a bigger part of me enjoyed having the summer off. Starting next month, I'm going straight through until I graduate in March of 2012. That means summer classes next summer since I'm part time and didn't take the other two classes required last summer. It's going to be a busy year and a half, but I just keep reminding myself that when I have that Master's degree in my hand it will all be worth it, even if I'll be paying off student loans until the day I die. :-P

Alright, I think that's all I've got for tonight. I need to get some sleep to chase my crazy three year olds tomorrow when state is in the building.