If you had asked me a couple of months ago if I would be in this spot right now, content even though so much of my future is uncertain, I probably would have laughed at you. But that's exactly where I am. So much of the future is uncertain, especially with the job market being the way that it is, but I am trusting that God has a plan and knows exactly what He is doing.
I guess I should start with an update about my sister. She finally had her baby at exactly 11:00 p.m. on the dot on Friday night, October 21st. Daniel weighed in at five pounds, fifteen ounces, and twenty inches long. She ended up having to have a c-section after 26 very long and hard hours of labor. She stalled out at 4 cm dilated and about 80 percent effaced and just didn't go anywhere for hours. It took a shift change at seven on Friday night for the next OB on call to tell my sister that she was giving her two more hours to fully dilate and then she was doing a c-section, which is what ended up happening. It turns out Daniel's head was crooked which is why my sister stalled out at 4 cm. Daniel just couldn't drop any further with his head being crooked. That also explains the low blood flow to the umbillical cord.
Thankfully, both mommy and baby are doing well and got to go home on Monday. Now my sister is trying to adjust to being a mommy to four (three of her own and a stepdaughter) and trying to recover from her c-section. Daniel is doing well and is completely adorable. I'll share pictures soon or you can go over to my facebook to see them. If we're not friends on facebook, let me know and we can change that!
So what's going on with me since it's been awhile since I've done a real update? Well, I'm busy with school and work and interning. My internship in the school counseling office at the junior high is going SO well. My advisor is coming in this Wednesday to talk to my site supervisor and to observe me, something I'm both excited and nervous for. I think things are going well and I've been picking up more responsibility but I still feel like at times that I sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for Nicole to give me something to do. I know it's hard on her too, though, because we share an office and I don't have a computer or a phone so it makes it hard for her to give me stuff to do when mornings are usually spent for her returning emails and phone calls.
Overall, though, my internship is going well. I've been meeting one on one a lot lately with students and getting to interact with teachers and parents. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not doing conflict resolution and dealing with meltdowns from the students. Nicole and I laugh together a lot, something that I'm learning in this job is necessary because it gets some of our stress and frustration out. Plus, you can't just NOT laugh at some of the things the kids tell you or the principals. I leave the junior high on the days I'm there feeling so fulfilled and I know this is exactly what I'm meant to do.
My relationships, both friends and romantic interests, have been bumpy lately. Many of us are under stress and dealing with life changes and it's becoming hard to keep ourselves in orbit with each other. I had a meltdown on Seth (our youth leader) the other night and he gave me some very valuable advice. Now, how to act on it is another story. I think starting with lunch tomorrow is the right step. I'm praying that God will give me the right words to say and to allow my heart to be open and vulnerable.
My dating life has cooled significantly. And by significantly I mean it is non-existent right now, which I'm surprisingly okay with. I think with so much going on in my life right now that I think dating would be difficult because I just don't have the time to commit to it. I do miss him, but I think honestly I just miss our friendship, which also feels as if it has cooled down a lot lately. I know God has a plan though and I am trusting that it is greater than what I can see.
I have been spending a lot more time with my guy friends again, something I missed while I was in a relationship. They jokingly asked me one Sunday at lunch if I had joined the land of the living again. haha I know there are people who think when you're in a relationship that friendships of the opposite sex have to cool but after a lot of thought I don't agree with that at all. I tend to be friends with guys over girls and my guy friends bring so much joy and laughter to my life. For whatever reason, it's easier to be myself with them and to not have to worry what their intentions are. I don't know. I wish I could explain it but I can't. I decided that whoever I end up with in the future is going to have to be okay with these friendships because they're not going anywhere anytime soon.
I'm trying to figure out my financial life, which is something big in my life lately. Denise, my running partner, bought me this book called The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke by Suze Orman for my birthday to read, along with The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey that I bought a couple of months back. I would love to try and pay off a lot of my credit card debt before I graduate in June but it seems like everytime I have some kind of stable hold to put more money towards my cards, something else comes up, like my work bouncing my paycheck...again. This time, it wasn't their fault, but it still has made me behind this month.
My goal is to get myself on a budget and to start following it. That means telling people no, not eating out as often as I have been this quarter, and no impulse spending! My major goal other than paying off my credit cards is to start tithing at church again. I haven't tithed in months, something that makes me sad. I feel like if I can learn to start being faithful and trusting when I give that money, then things will eventually balance out. But since I have such a hard time trusting, it makes it hard for me to want to tithe. How do all of you do it? I know some of you also follow a budget and sometimes pinch corners a lot. How do you make tithing your priority when you have living expenses you need to pay for?
The only other big news in my life is that I'm still praying about going to Haiti. We have an informational meeting tomorrow after service that I'm going to go to. I still can't decide if I'm feeling called or not, nor do I know if I can afford the vaccinations because my student health insurance doesn't cover them. I need to make a decision, and soon, because I'm going to have to start the vaccination process, the passport process, and writing support letters.
Oh...and I'm going to the Bahamas for spring break! Adge and I decided since it's my last spring break as a student and she's never been on a spring break that we're throwing caution to the wind and going on a cruise. I know this goes against my whole money plan but we're on a payment plan for the trip and it's actually not too expensive. We've put a deposit down and booked our flights so now we're working on paying off the trip. In fact, I may run out to AAA this week to make a payment towards it. I don't know why I didn't think about that before. I was just going to pay the rest of it in January but I should go in every two weeks when I get paid and make a payment. Hmm...
Anyway, I think that about does it. I need to go take a shower and do some homework. I slept until 1:30 today, something my body needed because I was still recovering from spending all last week at the hospital with my mom for her surgery and my sister for her labor and delivery. Now I need to play catch up on school work. :-P
Hope you all are doing well! I've missed all of you! I've been reading but not commenting so if you see me creeping, that's why. I plan to try and get back here more often. :-)
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