I still have soooo much to update on and I'm hoping this weekend will give me the chance to do so. For now, I'm writing an entry pretty much for myself and hopefully a little accountability.
Since summer, pretty much since I went to Denver and ate out like every night I was there for two weeks, my good eating and working out habits have gone down the drain. As soon as I got home from Denver, classes started and it was go go go from the beginning of July until now. I'd noticed that my pants were getting snug but attributed it to being bloated at one point. Well...it's not. I got on the scale Monday night at the gym and I've put on 15 pounds since the end of June. This is ridiculous.
I worked so hard to get myself to the point that I was at earlier this summer that I'm disgusted that I let myself put 15 pounds back on. I think the bad eating and lack of exercise has also been leading to my exhaustion, migraines, and overall gross feelings. I feel like I'm losing my sanity too because the gym is my happy place and I've been so tired lately I just can't make myself go.
Well, I'm turning a new leaf this week. I went to the gym Monday night and pushed myself harder than I've pushed myself since earlier in the summer and I felt amazing when I was done. I went grocery shopping last night and bought stuff to make lunches for work, to cook dinner at home, and some healthier snack choices for the evenings. I'm also trying to curb my pop/caffeine addiction and have only lately been allowing myself one in the mornings on my way to work/internship and on an extremely rough day, one halfway through the day. I had half a glass at dinner tonight but only because I could feel my head starting to hurt and wanted to curb it so I didn't have to drive home with a migraine and headlights irritating me.
My time at the gym is my happy time. It's the one time of the day I can let go of everything and just relax and destress. I was working out on Monday and Wednesday evenings at 9 with my running partner but lately, I've just been so exhausted from interning and then going to class that waiting until 9 to workout is causing me to lose motivation. I told my mom that for now, I'm going to have to let go of that scheduled time and just go on my way home around 7ish so I can be in bed by 10. I can't function anymore on six or less hours of sleep.
I know Denise will understand because she's done the grad school route but I'm going to miss her. She's been my reason for working out for two years now and it's such good motivation to know she's waiting for me. I know she can't do earlier times because she's married with kids but for now, this is what I need to do for me. I need to be able to workout and late nights just aren't cutting it for me right now.
Okay...speaking of late nights...I need sleep. I'm not even sure how much of this made sense. My mind is in a million places right now. Or...just one...Denver. More to come on that later. Suffice it to say, every time I'm in the car, I keep thinking of that drive west and how much my heart wants to be in Denver. It doesn't help that Mike has taught me the beauty of Skype and so now our Sunday night date nights are most likely going to be Skype dates. It was so nice to be able to see each other while we talked Sunday. It made the distance seem not so far away.
*sigh* I really, really miss Denver. And I really, really need sleep.
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