I wasn't going to blog tonight but I just got in from spending time with J, which typically throws me for a loop emotionally. However, he brought his new girlfriend home and I have to admit that as nervous as I was about meeting her, I adore her. I text Evan when I got in and told him I was pretty sure I had just met J's future wife. That's how perfect I think she is for him. It was obvious in the short amount of time I spent with them before she went to bed so we could catch up that he cares more for her in the few months they've been dating than he did for his girlfriend he had at OSU.
It felt good to "officially" close the door on my past with J tonight. Even though I thought that door was closed after the conversation we had in May, it was officially closed tonight. I was even able to joke with him about our past which is always a good sign. I am genuinely happy for him and feel nothing but content at where we stand as friends.
However, as all good friends in my life, he knows me better than I know myself and wasn't afraid to call me out on how I feel right now with another person in my life. It amazes me how even from D.C. he still knows me better than I know myself. It was a geunine relief to be able to share with him how I felt and to have his support. I think out of any of my friends, his opinion ranks right up there with Megan and Vince's. I'm anxious for Vince to be here this coming week to get his feedback too.
I told Evan tonight when I got in that I feel content about where things stand with J and I and that I no longer doubt that God has something amazing planned for me. I can sense it, even if I don't 100 percent know what that plan is yet. I'm going to continue to trust Him and seek His will over my own. I think it's part of why I've been so up and down emotionally lately. I've been letting my head and my heart run away from me and not praying about it or spending time in the Word the way I know I need to be. How can I let God be at the center of any future relationship if I'm not allowing Him to be there before it even begins? After all, He's the one writing my love story right?
I think it will be interesting to see where things go in the next couple of months but for tonight, I am thankful for J and our friendship and how he will always be one of the people who knows me better than I know myself. It's also nice to know that distance doesn't change anything and even though we're both busy with grad school and work, we still have time to be there and support each other and be the friends we've always been. Time and distance mean nothing when it comes to the people who are your best friends.
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