I want to update. I do. I even keep opening up my web browser and then...nothing. I have so much I want to say, and no actual motivation to do it. So much has been going on, both good and bad, but for whatever reason, I'm just soaking in what's happening and finding it hard to get the words out.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, especially as I soak in all the good moments. I miss writing but lately I just haven't felt up to it. Life is floating by lately and I just haven't felt up to recording it. My camera has even been hiding out in my purse lately. Typically when we go places it's glued to my hand but even that has been too much.
I go between being completely content where I am right now and feeling ungrateful for where God has me. It's been trial and error but I'm learning. I know that's something I'll struggle with my entire life. It helps that lately I've been able to share a lot of how I'm feeling with one of my guy friends. I even told him last week at dinner that it helps to know he's normal and that his family is far from perfect. I sometimes struggle with the idea that no one could possibly understand what goes through my head and my heart and then God brings along the perfect person at the perfect time to show me that I'm wrong.
I don't know. I have so much I know I need to update on, such as school and Haiti and my family and my thoughts on my future and how I'm growing in the Lord but today, I just don't have the energy for it. I can't help but wonder if this rain is playing into it. I feel like it's been forever since I've seen sun. At this rate, it's going to be a long winter. *sigh*
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