Now that it's February...

I suppose now that it's February it's time for an update. I'm probably just going to do bullets because I'm tired and don't really feel up to writing a huge entry.

School:
School is going well. I'm officially registered for my final quarter and graduation is quickly approaching. I take my comprehensive exam to graduate from the counseling program for the second time next Saturday. Am I nervous? Absolutely. I need to pass or I have to petition to the department to write a thesis and I really don't want to have to do that. I did get the all clear to graduate as long as I pass the exam which is an amazing feeling. I can't believe in just a few short months I'll hold my Master's degree in my hands!

Internship:
Words can't even begin to describe how much I love, love, love my internship! I am now pretty much doing my own thing on the days that I'm there. I see a couple of kids regularly and I'm getting ready to start running a study skills group that will run for 7-10 weeks, depending on how much I can come up with curriculum wise. This is going to by my baby and I'm excited to take on such a big challenge.

I also hit a milestone last week and spoke in front of 300 eighth graders. I HATE public speaking with a passion so when Nicole told me she was going to make me present the guidance counselor part of the team meetings we have every quarter, I just looked at her like she was crazy. However, I did it and I did it like a champ! I barely looked at my notes and had the full attention of the kids I was speaking to. When I was finished, I got huge compliments from Nicole, the teachers, and even the principal, who NEVER gives compliments. That was huge for me. The confidence I had afterwards was an incredible feeling. It made getting up and presenting in front of 15 of my peers in class no big deal this week. It also affirmed how much I love the middle school age and how much I want to work with middle schoolers.

Work:
Work is...work. I do have to admit that as much as I'm over working in a preschool, I love that I'm not in a set classroom everyday anymore. Since I only work three days a week because of my internship, I float from room to room depending on where I'm needed. It's given me the chance to get to know all the kids and parents in the building and the constant change means that my patience level has gone up. I'm usually exhausted at the end of the day, but I love that each day is different.

On a career level though, I have officially started the job search for next year! With graduation quickly approaching, schools are beginning their hiring process. I've already applied for a couple of jobs in Denver and one school counseling job here in Cincinnati. I'm scanning job sites and school districts almost daily, hoping to jump on the application as soon as it's posted.

I was certain I'd end up in Denver next year but for many reasons I don't think it's going to happen. I'm still looking and applying but right now, I just feel like Denver isn't meant to happen. I was going to stay with the boys until I could get a place of my own and get on my feet but all of a sudden Mike is acting funny and has become MIA when I try to reach him. Plus, with the plans to go to Haiti, it would make it hard to relocate to Denver this summer. I don't know. Right now, I just believe that for whatever reason, I'm meant to stay in Ohio. If Denver is meant to happen, it will. If not, I'm content with staying here. God has a plan for me, regardless of where I end up at. I firmly believe that. :-)

Church:
I love where I am right now. I'm finally in a small group and I feel like I'm flourishing. My faith is definitely growing, which I love. Last year, my word for the year was believe. I was encouraged to believe that God is who He says He is and that He has big plans for my life. This year, the words I'm praying over are strength and growth. I want my faith to be strengthened and I want to grow. I want to be pushed out of my comfort zone and I want my faith to keep going up instead of getting stuck in some of the valleys I ended up in last year.

The biggest thing that is going to teach me to grow and that will strengthen my faith is going to Haiti. For months as Seth talked about this trip, I kept saying there was no way I was going overseas and no way I was going on a mission trip. I've never felt called to missions before. Well, I'm quickly learning that God has a sense of humor and when you tell Him what you're NOT going to do, He'll quickly tell you what you ARE going to do. :-P

So...I've been praying about Haiti and I'm officially registered for the 10 day trip in July. I started the vaccination process and the next step will be getting started on my passport. I can't believe I'm doing this but God has proven Himself faithful and the support has been rolling in. I'm about $800 short of the amount I have to technically raise, though I added an extra $600 to cover the expense of the vaccinations and passport that I'm paying for out of pocket. I still have about two full weeks before the deadline I put in my support letters and if I haven't raised the money by then, I'll be sending out another round or making some phone calls to do some follow up. I'm trusting God though, and I fully believe the support is going to come through. Once I started praying about this and trusting His plan, the support started rolling in. If God wants me in Haiti in July, He'll make it happen. I believe that. :-)

Believe it or not, I'm no longer afraid of this trip. Okay...well, I am, but only because I'm a picky eater. I fully plan to pack a suitcase with things like crackers and peanut butter to get me through the two weeks I'll be overseas so at least I know I won't go hungry. But, I'm not afraid of what this trip is going to bring. I do think it's going to break me and I have a feeling lots of tears will be shed, but I do think I'm going to grow like crazy by allowing God to take me out of comfortable little Ohio bubble for ten days. I'm nervous, but I'm more excited. I'm looking forward to the good things I know God is going to do on this trip.

Family:
Family is doing well. My newest nephew is growing so quickly! He'll be four months old on the 21st which is just crazy to think about already. He's so handsome and has aunt Heather wrapped around his little finger already. I just can't get enough of him. Logan is going to be eight on the 13th, which also boggles my mind. That means it's been EIGHT YEARS since my freshman year of college! Holy cow, where has the time gone?! He's SO smart and he still melts my heart when he hugs me and tells me he loves me. He's also going to hold such a special place in my heart because he was my first nephew. I love him, Daniel, and Savannah equally but he'll always be my baby. Savannah is going to be six in May and is in kindergarten now. She's full of attitude, all of which comes from my sister! She cracks me up with the stuff that comes out of her mouth. Sometimes I forget she's only five. I tell my sister she's five going on 15. haha

The biggest thing going on in our family right now is that we're talking about putting our dog down. It breaks my heart to even write about this but I just can't keep it bottled up anymore. She's getting old; she's at least 13 years old now I think. She started losing weight, she can't hold her bladder, and now she's having trouble seeing. I can't imagine not having her here but I can't stand the thought that she might be in pain. She's having spells where it seems like she's confused when she goes outside and will go out under the fence and then just circle our driveway like she doesn't know where to be. My mom went outside to get her the other night and she was just sitting between the car and the driveway, just sitting there. I cried myself to sleep last night because my parents brought up the discussion of what we're going to do and I just couldn't talk about it. It makes my heart hurt too much to think about it.

I hate to end on such a sad note but that's all I really have. That's my life in a nutshell. I think I covered the biggert points anyway. I'm sure there's probably more but it's 11:30 on Saturday night and my brain is officially turned off for the night. Hopefully it won't be a month before I update again!