My title literally means that I'm laying here thinking about races. It's 1:20 in the morning and all my brain can think about is my marathon training and how I haven't done a long run since before Christmas. Between my back problems, vacation, and then getting sick, I just haven't been to the gym and that's not going to cut it anymore.
My next race is the Heart Mini Marathon 15k (which for all you non-runners is a 9.3 mile race) on March 20th...as in nine weeks from now. Oh yeah. Nine weeks. At most, I've run 6.2 and that was the 10k I ran on Thanksgiving. I haven't done over four miles since then. This is not a good thing, especially since the half marathon (13.1 miles) is in 15 weeks. Oh boy.
I haven't wanted something so badly as I want this in a long time. This is my personal challenge to myself, to prove that I can do anything I set my mind to. And that I train for of course. I don't recommed trying to run anything beyond four miles without training! Every since watching Denise cross the finish line after running the full marathon (26.2 miles) last spring, I have wanted this with every fiber of my being. I've been training since that moment and was doing well up until now. Now I'm just afraid that I've set my own training back and I won't be on course to finish either of the two races I've lined up for myself.
My mom asked me tonight if I had registered yet for the 15k and I told her no, that I wanted to get a couple more long runs in before I registered, just to prove to myself that I am going to be ready for it come March. I know if Denise could hear my thoughts right now she would tell me that I'm fine, that we have plenty of time, and that my training up to this very weekend only has me up to six miles and I know I can pull out six miles so I shouldn't be worrying. I can't help it. All I'm doing is worrying, which is ridiculous. Of all the things going on in my life right now, I'm worried about running. Forget the fact that I'm two weeks behind on reading for class because I've been sick. That's apparently not important. The only thing running through my mind right now is running. (Ha! No pun intended!)
My high school friend Laura is running her first half marathon tomorrow in Arizona and I am so very proud of her! She's come so far in her own weight loss journey and it's been an incredible inspiration to watch her prepare for this half. I wish I could be there in person but I told her I'll be there in spirit cheering her on because I know come May, she'll be doing the same for me.
I'm fine. I've got this. I can run 9.3 miles in nine weeks and then I can run 13.1 miles in 15 weeks. There is NO reason for me to be stressing over this. I just need to get my butt back into gear and get myself back to the gym. The rest will just fall into place.
I have noticed though that when I do run consistently, that my immune system doesn't fail me. Since I haven't run since before Christmas, I've come down with colds, a stomach bug, and now a sinus infection. This should just be proof to me why I shouldn't take time off of running. It's actually doing good things for my body! Now I just need to keep telling myself that.
Whew. Alright. I think I feel better so maybe I can actually get some sleep without stressing over my training. I've got this in the bag. It's go time!
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