Where have I been?

I knew after my last long entry that I was going to be MIA recently. The end of the quarter is fast approaching. Next week is the last week of classes and then finals are the week after that! T-minus 22 days and counting til Denver! Woo hoo!

I can't believe that the countdown that's been going on since September is finally drawing to a close. I can't wait to be reunited with some of my favorite people and spend TWO WHOLE WEEKS in my favorite place. Granted, I do have homework to do (stupid independent study) while I'm there, but it'll still be fun.

Two weeks from tomorrow, Megan and I will be heading to Cleveland for our girl's weekend with Lauren! We've got tickets to see Brad Paisley on the 11th since we couldn't make the Cincinnati or Indianapolis shows and decided to make a weekend of it. I haven't seen Lauren in like a year so I'm excited to be reunited with her. She was my best friend in college and I'm so glad we're still so close. They say you go to college to meet your bridesmaids and when (if) I ever get married, Lauren will definitely be one of them. :-)

Tomorrow I leave for Athens to visit Vince for the weekend. I'm also stopping in Columbus on the way to pick up Joe who is going to go visit Daniel for the weekend. I can't wait for a weekend in one of my favorite places with more of my favorite people. Noticing a trend here?? :-P

I can't sit here and say that things have been great since my last post because in fact, I had an emotional breakdown about two weeks ago. I hit a rough spot where I spent weeks in a funk (I hid it well here, making it sound like I was okay). I found myself constantly snapping at people, crying at the drop of a hat, and feeling like I was always on the verge of a panic attack. I finally hit my breaking point one Sunday evening after youth where I drove home in tears and then laid on my bed and just sobbed for an hour. I can't even call it crying because it was full blown hysterics, all for what seemed like no reason.

I finally came to the conclusion that I was just simply overwhelmed. It has been one thing after another this year from illnesses to school to work to my personal life and I just couldn't take it anymore. Add in the mix of coming off of a year of training for a half marathon and then an emotional finish and I was just done for. After long talks with Megan and my running partner Denise, I realized I needed to learn to prioritize and accept the fact that I'm not super woman. I don't have to do everything myself. It's okay for me to ask for help when I need it and to admit that I'm not perfect. I'm not meant to carry all of my burdens myself and I need to realize that.

Since then, I've felt as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm still stressed of course because I'm a busy grad student and I will be stressed until the day I graduate but I'm able to manage it. I need to start setting aside some "me" time once a week where I don't do anything except breathe and relax. And maybe work out because that helps the stress. I need to stop planning out every single minute of my life and slow down and enjoy it. If I don't learn to relax, eventually I am going to snap and it's not going to be pretty.

I am thankful for the wonderful friends and family who have gotten me over this rough spot. I'm thankful for the coworker who called me out on my attitude at work and asked me if I was okay because it made me realize how much my bad attitude was affecting my kids and my job. I'm thankful for the best friend who dropped everything on a Sunday night to lay on my bed with me while I cried my eyes out. I'm thankful for a Savior who loves me and grants me mercy and grace, regardless of my sins and my faults.

I'm not perfect and I never will be but that's okay. This is my life and even through the rough patches, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.