The life of a busy grad student and runner

I realized I haven't done a proper update in weeks (unless you're privy to my more personal blog on another site) so I figured since I'm procrastinating that this would be the perfect time to do it. I'm not actually procrastinating-I'm giving my brain a small break after writing a reflection paper and taking a quiz before I start researching another paper and take my Stats midterm. :-P

My birthday weekend a couple weeks back was probably one of the best birthdays I've had in years, simply because I've finally reached a point in my life where I'm confident in myself and feel good about who I am and where I am in my life. Vince came in from Athens for the weekend which was fun as always. He put up with all my random shenanigans, including having to drive me home after my birthday dinner because I had two daiquiris that went straight to my head. haha

I ran a 5k the morning of my birthday celebration and finished in 47:48, cutting another minute off of my overall 5k time. I loved that I finished, but the week after the race was a difficult week in my half marathon training because I was disappointed in myself. I had set a goal of finishing in 45 minutes or under, which clearly didn't happen. On top of that, I didn't run as much of it as I had planned on doing because it was cold outside and it hurt my lungs to run in the cold. My training that week was rough because I just kept telling myself I couldn't do it, I don't know why I ever thought I could, and that I was crazy for thinking I could actually do something like running a half marathon.

Luckily, I have a GREAT training partner in Denise who was right there with me every step of the way pushing me and encouraging me and cheering me on through the darkest of moments that week. She kept reminding me of how far I've come since I officially started training in May and how far I've come in the year that I've been working out along side of her while she trained last year for the full marathon. Since that week, my training has kicked into full gear again and I'm now just weeks away from running my first 10k, which is 6.2 miles. I'm running the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day, something I have been eagerly looking forward to for the last couple of months. I completed my first four mile run last week and tomorrow I'm running five miles with Denise.

I have to give Denise major props-without her, I wouldn't be able to do this. She has been there every step of the way with me and she pushes me when I don't think I can keep running. She has put up with all of my whining about my various aches and pains (something I'm becoming accustomed to as a runner!) and my mental state and she still hasn't give up on me. If I were her, I would have gone running for the hills months ago but instead, she stays along side of me and just keeps cheering me on. She is my biggest fan and without her, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Other than the running and my birthday celebration, my life has been all work and school lately. I had to take two six hour inservices for work to keep my certification current so I spent four nights in the last two weeks at work for three extra hours both nights to sit through a Communicable Disease class and a Child Abuse and Neglect course. On those nights I also went straight to the gym for training runs, so I've been busy.

School is stressing me out this quarter. I'm taking a Group Theory and Process class, which I actually enjoy. I wish I had taken it before my practicum last spring because it would have been much more beneficial to running the groups at the school I was at. I'm also taking Stats, which has been the bane of my existence all quarter. All I do is study for that class, which is paying off because I have an A but I'm still stressed over it. I have to take my midterm tonight online so I'm praying I do well on it.

As the quarter winds down, I'm looking at one more quiz, a couple more journals, and a 10-15 page research paper for my Group Theory class. For Stats, I have I think two more assignments, the midterm, and a take home final to complete. My social life is pretty much non-existent between now and the week after Thanksgiving when the 10-15 page paper is due. The only exception to that is chaperoning fall retreat next weekend which I think will be good for us adults, along with the youth. I know all of this hard work is going to pay off when I'm looking at another quarter of excellent grades but I miss having a life!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future and where I want to be after grad school is done. I keep going back and forth on moving to Denver and I'm trying to figure out if that's where God is really calling me to. I'm going out for two weeks in June after spring classes are over and taking the state boards out there just so I can have a back up plan incase I can't find a job here. I'm also looking at getting licensed in Kentucky and Indiana since both of those are close to Cincinnati as well. I need to do some soul searching and praying to figure out exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Speaking of my spiritual life...well, that's where I've been struggling the most. I have felt so completely empty lately and finally broke down and met with my small group leader. He encouraged me to "cut the fat" and let go of things that I don't need in my life right now. We tried to figure out where I could make cuts and decided that my side baby-sitting jobs needed to go, especially since most of the families I was sitting for waited until the last minute to call me and I was taking the jobs because I needed the money. Since I was baby-sitting so much, I wasn't getting enough time to do homework and that just added to my stress level. I was choosing to sleep in on Sundays instead of going to church because I wasn't sleeping on the weekends so I could stay up late to do homework. It was a viscious cycle and it was killing me.

My wonderful and amazing friend Heather from OU has been so incredible through all of this. She follows me on twitter and has seen some of my more distressing tweets and so she and I now have a long distance accountability partnership going. We've vowed to spend 20 minutes a day in the Word and share with each other what we've learned and what the Lord is revealing to us. It's been so helpful and has left me feeling so refreshed. God knew exactly what I needed in letting us continue our friendship since we graduated from OU, even if she's in Indiana and I'm here in Ohio. I am so blessed by her friendship and I don't know what I would do without her.

I'm slowly coming up out of the pit that I've been in and can see the light on the other side of the valley. I know we have seasons in our life where we struggle and I'm blessed by the people the Lord has brought into my life to bring me through this latest valley in my life. I still have a lot of struggles going on in my heart (if you're privy to my other blog you know this) but I know that I'm going to be okay. It's going to take baby steps but by God's grace, I know He still loves me, regardless of the sins I commit and the choices I make in my life. His grace covers all and for that I am grateful.

For now, I need to run to the grocery store and then get back to the books so I can finish this midterm and start on my research paper. A few more weeks. I can make it right?