First date

I've been putting off writing this entry because I started to have some doubts about how I was feeling about this whole dating thing and tonight I decided I don't want to dwell on it and I kind of want to just wait it out and see what happens. I had some serious freak out moments over the weekend last weekend in Athens which led to a conversation via text messages at 4:30 in the morning on Saturday night after a glass of wine on an empty stomach and I think since then I've just freaked myself out. Sorry this part is vague but I'm just not ready to write about it yet. My best friends know about my freak out moments and we'll just leave it at that.

So the first date went really well. I had myself kind of worked up about it to the point that as I was driving to the date, I almost turned around and went back home. Luckily I talked to Megan as I was driving who kept me calm enough that I made it to Newport in one piece. Go figure it was raining buckets on a night that we had planned a date night on the river! I met Don in front of the movie theater as we had planned and he could tell that I was nervous. He instantly tried to make me comfortable and tried to put me at ease by making me laugh, for which I was grateful. I had been so nervous when we first sat down that I had my menu open in front of me and couldn't even look at him!

We talked and laughed all during dinner and after dinner decided we wanted to go for a walk. Well, of course it was still raining so we just walked right across the Levee to Barnes and Noble where we had hot chocolate and sat at a table by the window overlooking the city and just talked. By this time I was (almost) completely relaxed and I could tell he was getting comfortable too because he wasn't afraid to tickle me or poke me and things like that. It made me the slightest bit uncomfortable because we still don't know each other that well but I'm glad he felt comfortable enough with me to tease me that way.

At one point he yawned which made me laugh but then I started yawning and once I started yawning I just couldn't stop. He knew I had worked all day and that I had driven in from Athens the day before and went straight to church for youth stuff so he knew I was tired. He insisted we end the night so I could go home and get some sleep, which I thought was really sweet. He told me he didn't want me falling asleep as I drove home so he walked me to my car which is where things got awkward. I could tell he wanted to kiss me good night as we stood there and I'm so glad he didn't because I'm not sure I would have been ready for that. Instead, we did the whole awkward good night hug and then left.

He had told me to text him when I got home safely so I did and he told me that he had had a good time and that he wanted to take me out again, to which I agreed. We had had such a good time that I had been looking forward to a second date. Well, this week our conversations kind of dwindled off to the point that until earlier this afternoon, I hadn't talked to him since Tuesday afternoon and even then it was only about a ten minute conversation. I think it's where my doubts started to come from and by today I had decided that I wasn't going to text him or talk to him unless he talked to me first. Well, imagine my surprise when he text me as I was driving home from work just to tell me he hoped I was having a good day.

I still don't know what to think. There are still some uncertainties for me and we need to talk about things like his spiritual beliefs (which for me is a make it or break it factor) and then some of my freak out moments which stem from good reasons, which I eventually will share but don't want to think about and dwell on right now. We've been chatting on and off all evening again after him not really talking to me all week so I just don't know what to think.

Do you all remember the rash I had a couple of weeks ago? Well, I'm starting to think that it's stress or anxiety induced because today at work I started breaking out again. I have a couple of spots on my chest again, some on my arms, and I've even found a couple on my stomach and my legs this time. My mom switched detergents a couple weeks ago too so I'm wondering if that's playing into it but the spots are in such random spots that I don't think that's it. I'm going to switch back to my normal detergent and see if that helps. If it keeps spreading, I'll probably go to the clinic on campus Thursday and have them take a look at it again. I just can't figure out what could be causing it but I don't think I can take much more of it.

I also need to relax. If I can relax and stop stressing maybe my body will calm down. Between work, school, dating, and the marathon training, my body is just going crazy. I need just one day for a mental health day to de-stress and relax and try to keep my body in line.

Alright, I need to go get some sleep. I fell asleep for an hour or two right after work this afternoon but had to wake myself up to get my homework done so now I'm going to go sleep because I have to be up semi-early (for me anyway!) to drive to Columbus with my aunt for my cousin's dance competition. Good night!