I'm long overdue for an update so I figure this will probably be a long entry.
First off: school. The "school year" is almost over but with it comes a whole new set of worries. I have to take a summer class over the summer which was supposed to be online but is now going to be five weeks during second session, twice a week. This is going to screw up me being able to work full time all summer long. I mean, my internship was going to start at the beginning of August anyway but I was still hoping to get close to 40 hours through the end of August. Instead, I'm going to be lucky if I get 30. Guess it'll get me prepared for next school year when I can only work three days a week due to my internship.
I'm getting excited but nervous about my internship. I'll be at a local junior high where the school district has cut back to just one counselor so she has already told me that I'm going to have more responsibility than normal since she'll be the only one in the building. I told her I'm okay with that because it'll give me more experience and I'll be able to better market myself once I graduate.
I started stressing about my internship today because I can only intern one and a half days a week for fall quarter because one of my classes falls in the middle of the day at one, which means having to leave my internship at noon in order to make it to class on time. I wish they'd change it and offer it at four like normal graduate classes, but whatever. I'll just deal with it. I sat and calculated and I should be fine on hours which is good. It's one less thing for me to stress about.
Second: doctor's appointment. I went to the doctor this week because my body started breaking out in my awful rash again. It doesn't itch and it doesn't hurt but it just keeps popping up. Well, the nurse practicioner looked at it and said it looked like the rash that's associated with both mono and strep so she tested me for both and both of the initial tests came back negative. She took a culture of one of the spots on my stomach and sent it off to be analyzed so I have a follow up appointment on Thursday to get the results. I don't know what's wrong with me but right now it's clearing up which is a good thing so we'll see what the results say this week.
Third: running! So the marathon is one week from TODAY! I can't believe that a year of training has come down to one week. This is a very slow paced week training wise. I only have to do two miles tomorrow and two miles Wednesday. I can't believe Denise, Beth, and I have made it through a year of training. I'm sooo excited to pick Beth up at the airport on Friday and then to cross that finish line together next Sunday. We made it!! I can't wait to put that 13.1 sticker on my car after the race is over!
Finally: the boy. We went on a second date last night which went so well, hence my all smiles entry from late last night. Well, today I woke up and I just don't feel right. I spent a lot of time in prayer at church this morning and I really feel like God is telling me no on this one. There are many red flags being raised for me, as much as I do enjoy spending time with him and talking to him. After several more conversations after our long heart to heart last week, I feel like we're just not on the same page and right now we're at two different places in our lives. I just honestly don't think it'll be fair of me to keep going out on dates with him when I know it just doesn't feel right.
I need someone who is spiritually going to be on my level, someone I can go to church with and pray with and go to Bible study with, someone who genuinely loves the Lord and wants to seek Him first in all we do and I just don't get that vibe from Don. I feel like he takes an interest in what I have to say about my volunteer work with my youth girls but I don't think he has any interest in the spiritual side of it, regardless of how much I bring it into conversation.
He's a fun person to be around, but right now, it just doesn't feel right. I don't want to disobey what I know God is telling me to do so I need to walk away now before either one of us gets hurt. I have talked to several friends about this who are spiritually grounded and I feel like this is the right decision for me to make. As much as it sucks in the moment to have to make this decision, I know God is going to bless it tremendously because I'm choosing to listen to where He is directing me instead of following my head and heart on this one. Now I just need to figure out how to have this conversation after telling him last night what a good time I had with him.
*sigh* Please pray for my heart in the upcoming week or two as I try to figure out how to best approach this situation and pray that God moves through me as I follow where He is directing me.
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