Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and just know you're going to be in a crappy mood all day? That's me today. I don't know why I'm so cranky but I am. The down side of it? I'm going out with friends tonight and right now, I don't even really feel like going. I'm going because it's the last free night of their spring break and we haven't had a fun night out together in forever, but really, I just want to avoid people.
I have an idea of why I'm so cranky and annoyed but yet, no one to talk to. Funny how that works isn't it? I tried explaining it to Megan last night but somehow the conversation shifted away from why I'm truly upset and annoyed and I never did try to get back to it.
Lately I've become so closed off and I don't know how to change that. The only person who has really gotten told anything recently is Vince and that's because he asked me last weekend how I was really feeling about stuff in my life. Even then I didn't tell him everything because it's just become easier to not tell everyone everything lately. Oh and my mentor Mrs. G. from church knows too because we had a three hour talk a couple weeks ago about everything going on in my life.
It just sucks when you don't feel like you can talk to anyone because you'll either make someone upset with you or you'll be accused of being jealous of that person's life when both are the furthest thing from the truth. I'm at the point right now that I want to cry and I just can't do it because there are too many people around. How can you be real with someone when they don't want to hear it? They may say they do but their body language and facial expression give away that they don't or give away the fact that they're upset with you for feeling the way you do. That's why I just keep my mouth shut anymore. It's just easier to let it all build up until I can spill my feelings into my offline journal or a private entry in my online blogs. Somehow, it's just easier that way. I grew up hiding how I felt when I lived with my dad so starting to hide how I feel again has just come back naturally. It's just another day in my life anymore.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Cute moment
I just went in to check on my niece and nephew a little bit ago and my nephew wasn't in his bed. I started panicking, trying to figure out where he had gone. I pulled the blankets off to make sure he wasn't just sleeping at the bottom of the bed like he sometimes does. That's when I glanced down at the bottom bunk of the bed and he was curled up in bed next to Savannah. It was the cutest thing I think I've seen in awhile. I should go take a picture.
On another note, I went to the gym tonight and killed myself on the elliptical. I then ended up going for ice cream on the way home. Epic fail. Back to the gym after work tomorrow to make up for it.
On another note, I went to the gym tonight and killed myself on the elliptical. I then ended up going for ice cream on the way home. Epic fail. Back to the gym after work tomorrow to make up for it.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sick again
I've been home sick all day. I got up at 6:45 and my poor body couldn't decide which end everything wanted to come out. I was in the bathroom literally getting sick for half an hour. I finally made it to my phone at 7:15 to call off. I know they probably weren't happy, but I figured they wouldn't want me there puking all day.
I did nothing but sleep today. I talked to Tym for about an hour on the phone about his visit to Grace College and then I promptly went back to sleep and slept until 7. I'm about to go back to bed now and from just how I feel, I'm sure I'll go right back to sleep. I was finally able to keep some toast down around 9 so I should hopefully be okay to go back to work tomorrow.
I seriously think I have the worst immune system ever. It's always been like that and working around kids doesn't help things. They say the first year of teaching is the worst and I'm starting to believe that. I'm miserable.
Oh and I still haven't heard from UC yet. I'm so frustrated.
I did nothing but sleep today. I talked to Tym for about an hour on the phone about his visit to Grace College and then I promptly went back to sleep and slept until 7. I'm about to go back to bed now and from just how I feel, I'm sure I'll go right back to sleep. I was finally able to keep some toast down around 9 so I should hopefully be okay to go back to work tomorrow.
I seriously think I have the worst immune system ever. It's always been like that and working around kids doesn't help things. They say the first year of teaching is the worst and I'm starting to believe that. I'm miserable.
Oh and I still haven't heard from UC yet. I'm so frustrated.
blog fairy
heather was complaining suggesting that her blog needed updated for summer. So the blog fairy was bored and avoiding homework had a few hour and attacked....
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Shallow?
I know I just updated and it's strange recently for me to update twice in one day (though technically it's 2 a.m. which means it's a new day) but I wanted to share some thoughts on my mind about self esteem.
Growing up, I always thought of myself as "the chubby one" among my friends. My friends have always been skinnier than me and during our early years, I used to be okay with that. In junior high, I joined sports teams in the hopes of getting in shape and not being an outsider. When that didn't work, I got involved in extracurriculars in high school and that's when I started making some of the friends I'm still the closest to today.
However, I've always felt like an outsider among my friends because I've never been able to shop in the same stores as them because I never fit the sizes of that store. I outwardly snubbed the latest fashions but secretly I wanted to be just like my friends.
It wasn't until college that I started to accept who I was as a person and began to realize that it wasn't my outer beauty that counted, but what was inside that mattered the most. That being said, I rose to my highest weight during those years and cringed each year when I went in for a physical and the numbers on the scale were higher than the year before. However, I never did anything to correct that problem but would complain about how I hated my body, how I hated myself, and no one was ever going to love me because I wasn't as pretty as my friends.
I tried numerous times during college to motivate myself to go to the campus rec center. I paired up with friends and instead of actually going and working out, we'd do one or two laps around the track and be done with it. We always found some reason to not work out and I never could make myself go alone.
When I got diagnosed with the PCOS in the summer of 2007 and started taking medicine to help correct it, I slowly started to lose weight. The combination of the meds and all the walking I did around campus helped the first 20 pounds or so come off quickly and easily. Once I graduated and started working in a job that had me out in the community most of the day, I started eating in my car and snacking while at my desk and the weight went right back on. The 20 pounds I had been so proud of snuck back on and it wasn't long before I was ashamed of my body again but never said anything to my friends.
Shortly after Christmas, Megan and I began to seriously discuss joining a gym because we wanted to start making healthy choices and treat our bodies properly. We did well in going together for awhile and then the winter storms we got quickly threw us off track. I finally started going again alone and since Christmas, I've lost 16 pounds and have gone down at least one or two sizes, depending on if you look at my pant size or my shirt size.
Tonight, I went shopping because all of my camis were too big. I went in with the sole purpose of buying camis and possibly a new bra and ended up walking out with two new camis, a new bra, a new pair of capris, and a new shirt. I didn't spend quite as much as I would have expected because everything was on sale but I was so excited that everything was a size smaller.
When I had gone home earlier, I had grabbed an odd combination of clothes because I couldn't decide what to wear tomorrow. I just spent the last half an hour trying on outfits before deciding what to wear so I could lay it out for church and I almost felt shallow at looking at myself in the mirror because for the first time since I started this weight loss journey, I could actually see the results in myself. I still have a long way to go but I am so proud that I can see myself trimming down and also building muscle. I love that I have made this decision to live a healthier lifestyle and that I can finally start to see results.
I feel shallow that I actually liked what I saw in the mirror but it was the first time in a long time that I looked in a mirror and didn't feel ashamed of who I was. I could see the finished product after straightening my hair and using the new makeup and for once I felt good about myself. I might not be as skinny as my friends and I might not look like a supermodel, but for the first time in a long time, I feel good about myself and I like what I see in the mirror. If that makes me shallow, then so be it. It's about time I have confidence in myself again. This has been a long time coming and it feels so good.
Growing up, I always thought of myself as "the chubby one" among my friends. My friends have always been skinnier than me and during our early years, I used to be okay with that. In junior high, I joined sports teams in the hopes of getting in shape and not being an outsider. When that didn't work, I got involved in extracurriculars in high school and that's when I started making some of the friends I'm still the closest to today.
However, I've always felt like an outsider among my friends because I've never been able to shop in the same stores as them because I never fit the sizes of that store. I outwardly snubbed the latest fashions but secretly I wanted to be just like my friends.
It wasn't until college that I started to accept who I was as a person and began to realize that it wasn't my outer beauty that counted, but what was inside that mattered the most. That being said, I rose to my highest weight during those years and cringed each year when I went in for a physical and the numbers on the scale were higher than the year before. However, I never did anything to correct that problem but would complain about how I hated my body, how I hated myself, and no one was ever going to love me because I wasn't as pretty as my friends.
I tried numerous times during college to motivate myself to go to the campus rec center. I paired up with friends and instead of actually going and working out, we'd do one or two laps around the track and be done with it. We always found some reason to not work out and I never could make myself go alone.
When I got diagnosed with the PCOS in the summer of 2007 and started taking medicine to help correct it, I slowly started to lose weight. The combination of the meds and all the walking I did around campus helped the first 20 pounds or so come off quickly and easily. Once I graduated and started working in a job that had me out in the community most of the day, I started eating in my car and snacking while at my desk and the weight went right back on. The 20 pounds I had been so proud of snuck back on and it wasn't long before I was ashamed of my body again but never said anything to my friends.
Shortly after Christmas, Megan and I began to seriously discuss joining a gym because we wanted to start making healthy choices and treat our bodies properly. We did well in going together for awhile and then the winter storms we got quickly threw us off track. I finally started going again alone and since Christmas, I've lost 16 pounds and have gone down at least one or two sizes, depending on if you look at my pant size or my shirt size.
Tonight, I went shopping because all of my camis were too big. I went in with the sole purpose of buying camis and possibly a new bra and ended up walking out with two new camis, a new bra, a new pair of capris, and a new shirt. I didn't spend quite as much as I would have expected because everything was on sale but I was so excited that everything was a size smaller.
When I had gone home earlier, I had grabbed an odd combination of clothes because I couldn't decide what to wear tomorrow. I just spent the last half an hour trying on outfits before deciding what to wear so I could lay it out for church and I almost felt shallow at looking at myself in the mirror because for the first time since I started this weight loss journey, I could actually see the results in myself. I still have a long way to go but I am so proud that I can see myself trimming down and also building muscle. I love that I have made this decision to live a healthier lifestyle and that I can finally start to see results.
I feel shallow that I actually liked what I saw in the mirror but it was the first time in a long time that I looked in a mirror and didn't feel ashamed of who I was. I could see the finished product after straightening my hair and using the new makeup and for once I felt good about myself. I might not be as skinny as my friends and I might not look like a supermodel, but for the first time in a long time, I feel good about myself and I like what I see in the mirror. If that makes me shallow, then so be it. It's about time I have confidence in myself again. This has been a long time coming and it feels so good.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Time to update
Lately I haven't had the energy or motivation to blog. I don't know why, but I just don't feel like writing much about myself lately. I'm going to try and get back in the swing of things though so here's the update I promised the other night.
--Roller skating
We had our monthly girls night out last weekend and it was so much fun! My co-workers and I had decided a couple months ago to organize a skating night so our girls night out was spent old school style at the skating rink. However, it wasn't as fun as it used to be because obviously it's all the newer (and crappier) music so I don't think any of us enjoyed it as much as we used to. They did play an old school New Kids on the Block song and a Michael Jackson song so those were fun but the rest weren't as great. I fell the first time around the floor but I did it with grace so I didn't hurt myself and I was able to laugh it off so it was fine. Even though the music wasn't the greatest, we all decided we wouldn't mind going skating again sometime in the near future!
After skating we went to a little bar and restaurant called Sleepy Hollow where most of my co-workers had a couple drinks and tried to convince me to drink with them. Since I was going out the next night and I had driven, I opted not to. We still had fun though and the bar was actually pretty quaint. I'd probably go back again.
--Makeover at Bare Essentials
Last Saturday I went shopping with Megan and Adrienne and ended up going into Bare Escentuals. They talked me into letting them do my makeup and I ended up falling in love with how great it made my face feel. I splurged and put a starter kit and three eyeshadows on my credit card but if it doesn't make my skin break out like normal makeup, it'll be worth it. I have a picture from later that night when I was out with Adrienne at Quaker Steak so I'll have to post it once I've put pictures on my computer.
--Spring!
Spring is finally here in Ohio and it makes me so happy. I've been able to take my kids outside at work and let them run their energy off which helps immensely. It drives me crazy when they have to stay inside and even their attitudes have improved because they've been able to run off their energy. Megan and I also took advantage of the weather and drove around Cincinnati last weekend taking pictures. I'm doing that again tomorrow with another one of my friends so that should be fun. I love spring time in the city. :-)
--Thoughts on weight loss and working out
Since I've been sharing this with my friends and family, I decided to post it here on the blog world for everyone else to see because what's better than accountability right? I'm doing well in working out and actually made it to the gym four times this week. I was going to go today but decided I deserved today off to let my muscles relax because I'm sore.
My official weigh in for March is next week so hopefully I'll get a decent report. We'll see. I know I worked hard this month and to me that's all that matters.
Since I mentioned the accountability, this is what I haven't shared with everyone. Every May in Cincinnati, we have a marathon called the Flying Pig Marathon. It's a popular event attended by runners from all over the country. On that same day, there is also a half marathon. I have decided that next year (2010) I'm going to run the half marathon at the Flying Pig. It has always been a dream of mine to run a marathon and it's been a great motivation to get myself to the gym. I have officially began training for it by building up my endurance and starting jogging and using the elliptical at the gym. Yesterday I also picked up a flyer for either a 5k or a 10k at the gym that's being held in June and decided those would be great ways to begin training for the marathon.
I really want to do this so my boss has been holding me accountable and asking me about my working out and training. My goal is to truly run the half marathon next May. This is something I want more than anything right now so I'm hoping it actually works out. You can check out the description of the half marathon at: http://http//www.flyingpigmarathon.com/race_information/schedule/half.shtml
--Finances and thoughts on my savings
I also want to start thinking about moving out, which means I need to start seriously saving. With potentially going back to school in June, I also need to think about financial aid and textbooks and all that stuff. If I go back to school, moving out will probably have to wait until after I'm done with my Master's, which would suck but having my M.Ed would help me to find a better job (not that this one is bad-but a master's would help me earn more) and make it a little easier to move out. However, I still need to start saving because eventually living paycheck to paycheck is going to catch up to me and something will happen and I'll have no money in my savings to fall back on. I know I can afford to put a little something back from each check. It's just a matter of making myself do it.
--School frustrations
My only frustration with school right now is not knowing if I've gotten in or not. It's been two weeks since my interview and so far no one has heard anything. April (one of the ladies I met at the interview) and I have been texting like crazy asking the other if we've heard anything. We both just want to know because we don't do well with waiting. Plus, if I didn't get in, I need to think about whether I want to apply to NKU or hold off and apply to other schools next fall. Hopefully I'll hear something this week.
Alright, I think that does it. I'm off to run some errands and head back over for my final night of house sitting. It's going to be so good to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night!
--Roller skating
We had our monthly girls night out last weekend and it was so much fun! My co-workers and I had decided a couple months ago to organize a skating night so our girls night out was spent old school style at the skating rink. However, it wasn't as fun as it used to be because obviously it's all the newer (and crappier) music so I don't think any of us enjoyed it as much as we used to. They did play an old school New Kids on the Block song and a Michael Jackson song so those were fun but the rest weren't as great. I fell the first time around the floor but I did it with grace so I didn't hurt myself and I was able to laugh it off so it was fine. Even though the music wasn't the greatest, we all decided we wouldn't mind going skating again sometime in the near future!
After skating we went to a little bar and restaurant called Sleepy Hollow where most of my co-workers had a couple drinks and tried to convince me to drink with them. Since I was going out the next night and I had driven, I opted not to. We still had fun though and the bar was actually pretty quaint. I'd probably go back again.
--Makeover at Bare Essentials
Last Saturday I went shopping with Megan and Adrienne and ended up going into Bare Escentuals. They talked me into letting them do my makeup and I ended up falling in love with how great it made my face feel. I splurged and put a starter kit and three eyeshadows on my credit card but if it doesn't make my skin break out like normal makeup, it'll be worth it. I have a picture from later that night when I was out with Adrienne at Quaker Steak so I'll have to post it once I've put pictures on my computer.
--Spring!
Spring is finally here in Ohio and it makes me so happy. I've been able to take my kids outside at work and let them run their energy off which helps immensely. It drives me crazy when they have to stay inside and even their attitudes have improved because they've been able to run off their energy. Megan and I also took advantage of the weather and drove around Cincinnati last weekend taking pictures. I'm doing that again tomorrow with another one of my friends so that should be fun. I love spring time in the city. :-)
--Thoughts on weight loss and working out
Since I've been sharing this with my friends and family, I decided to post it here on the blog world for everyone else to see because what's better than accountability right? I'm doing well in working out and actually made it to the gym four times this week. I was going to go today but decided I deserved today off to let my muscles relax because I'm sore.
My official weigh in for March is next week so hopefully I'll get a decent report. We'll see. I know I worked hard this month and to me that's all that matters.
Since I mentioned the accountability, this is what I haven't shared with everyone. Every May in Cincinnati, we have a marathon called the Flying Pig Marathon. It's a popular event attended by runners from all over the country. On that same day, there is also a half marathon. I have decided that next year (2010) I'm going to run the half marathon at the Flying Pig. It has always been a dream of mine to run a marathon and it's been a great motivation to get myself to the gym. I have officially began training for it by building up my endurance and starting jogging and using the elliptical at the gym. Yesterday I also picked up a flyer for either a 5k or a 10k at the gym that's being held in June and decided those would be great ways to begin training for the marathon.
I really want to do this so my boss has been holding me accountable and asking me about my working out and training. My goal is to truly run the half marathon next May. This is something I want more than anything right now so I'm hoping it actually works out. You can check out the description of the half marathon at: http://http//www.flyingpigmarathon.com/race_information/schedule/half.shtml
--Finances and thoughts on my savings
I also want to start thinking about moving out, which means I need to start seriously saving. With potentially going back to school in June, I also need to think about financial aid and textbooks and all that stuff. If I go back to school, moving out will probably have to wait until after I'm done with my Master's, which would suck but having my M.Ed would help me to find a better job (not that this one is bad-but a master's would help me earn more) and make it a little easier to move out. However, I still need to start saving because eventually living paycheck to paycheck is going to catch up to me and something will happen and I'll have no money in my savings to fall back on. I know I can afford to put a little something back from each check. It's just a matter of making myself do it.
--School frustrations
My only frustration with school right now is not knowing if I've gotten in or not. It's been two weeks since my interview and so far no one has heard anything. April (one of the ladies I met at the interview) and I have been texting like crazy asking the other if we've heard anything. We both just want to know because we don't do well with waiting. Plus, if I didn't get in, I need to think about whether I want to apply to NKU or hold off and apply to other schools next fall. Hopefully I'll hear something this week.
Alright, I think that does it. I'm off to run some errands and head back over for my final night of house sitting. It's going to be so good to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Reminder
Things to write about:
--Roller skating
--Makeover at Bare Essentials
--Spring!
--Thoughts on weight loss and working out
--Finances and thoughts on my savings
--School frustrations
Ok, that's all for now. Hopefully I'll actually update tomorrow.
--Roller skating
--Makeover at Bare Essentials
--Spring!
--Thoughts on weight loss and working out
--Finances and thoughts on my savings
--School frustrations
Ok, that's all for now. Hopefully I'll actually update tomorrow.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Adventures in house sitting
I've been so tired this week that I haven't had time to write much. House sitting is going well and I forgot how great it is to be independent and not have any demands on my time once I get home from work except to let the dogs out and make myself dinner.
Tonight I had a few friends over (Adrienne, Megan, Tym, and Amy) and we cooked dinner and watched Bones and Grey's Anatomy together. We each pitched in for part of dinner and I was responsible for dessert. Adrienne made the spaghetti sauce and noodles, Tym and Amy brought garlic bread, and Megan brought drinks. Well, needless to say my part didn't go so well. I decided to make brownies with chocolate chips in them and I also put chocolate frosting on them. Well, I apparently read the box wrong and I put in too much oil, which made them turn out kind of funny, even though they tasted fine. They were pretty much the standing joke of the night but they must have been good because we demolished half a pan of them!
Tomorrow night my work is having a roller skating outing which is also doubling as our regular girl's night out because we're going to go out for half price appetizers and drinks after. I haven't been roller skating since sophomore year of high school (almost eight years ago!) so this should be entertaining!
Alright, I'm off. My back is screaming in pain for some reason and I'm about to pass out at the keyboard.
Tonight I had a few friends over (Adrienne, Megan, Tym, and Amy) and we cooked dinner and watched Bones and Grey's Anatomy together. We each pitched in for part of dinner and I was responsible for dessert. Adrienne made the spaghetti sauce and noodles, Tym and Amy brought garlic bread, and Megan brought drinks. Well, needless to say my part didn't go so well. I decided to make brownies with chocolate chips in them and I also put chocolate frosting on them. Well, I apparently read the box wrong and I put in too much oil, which made them turn out kind of funny, even though they tasted fine. They were pretty much the standing joke of the night but they must have been good because we demolished half a pan of them!
Tomorrow night my work is having a roller skating outing which is also doubling as our regular girl's night out because we're going to go out for half price appetizers and drinks after. I haven't been roller skating since sophomore year of high school (almost eight years ago!) so this should be entertaining!
Alright, I'm off. My back is screaming in pain for some reason and I'm about to pass out at the keyboard.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Competition results!
This is going to be quick because I'm exhausted and I need to pack since I'm house sitting for the next two weeks starting tomorrow but I wanted to give the results of how Micah did at competition. The real update will come tomorrow.
Their tumbling team took gold for their routine and then they also took first place all around for their age group! I am sooooo proud of that little girl and her team! They have worked so hard for this and they deserved it. I don't know how their jazz team did because we didn't stay for the afternoon awards but even that routine was great.
I can't wait for the next few competitions because it's only going to get better from here!
Their tumbling team took gold for their routine and then they also took first place all around for their age group! I am sooooo proud of that little girl and her team! They have worked so hard for this and they deserved it. I don't know how their jazz team did because we didn't stay for the afternoon awards but even that routine was great.
I can't wait for the next few competitions because it's only going to get better from here!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Road trip!
My interview yesterday was amazing! I was so nervous at first that I literally made myself sick three times before I even left the house. I was texting Tym the whole way to campus while I talked to Megan on the phone and Tym ended up meeting me at Starbucks and walking with me part way to my interview before he had to go to class which helped relax me a lot.
Once I reached the building where my interview was, I couldn't make myself go inside. I sat on a bench holding my hot chocolate and giving myself up in prayer because I knew I couldn't do this myself. I finally found the confidence to go inside and I ended up sitting next to another woman named April who was just as nervous as I was. We hit it off and even ended up exchanging phone numbers so we can hang out.
The interview process actually wasn't as bad as I expected. The first hour was spent listening to faculty members introduce themselves and talk about the program. The second hour of the program was spent being split into groups and my group met with current students so we could ask them questions from a students point of view without faculty present. The final hour was spent being split into a smaller group and meeting with a faculty member and a current student to answer questions and to ask questions of our own.
Tym and I had lunch after the interview and I told him how I great I felt and how at peace I felt about how everything went. I told him that I was so impressed with the program, the faculty, the students, and everything about UC and that as long as I get in, I'll be starting there in June! I'll find out in two or three weeks if I got in or not so now I'm just patiently playing a waiting game. Ok...maybe not patiently. :-p
Megan and I went to dinner last night to celebrate how good I felt about the interview and then I came to my cousin's to have a sleepover. We made brownies and did makeovers and just hung out. Today we're off to Indianapolis for Micah's dance competition.
Alright, I need to get the girls out of the tub and then shower myself. Have a great rest of the weekend!
Once I reached the building where my interview was, I couldn't make myself go inside. I sat on a bench holding my hot chocolate and giving myself up in prayer because I knew I couldn't do this myself. I finally found the confidence to go inside and I ended up sitting next to another woman named April who was just as nervous as I was. We hit it off and even ended up exchanging phone numbers so we can hang out.
The interview process actually wasn't as bad as I expected. The first hour was spent listening to faculty members introduce themselves and talk about the program. The second hour of the program was spent being split into groups and my group met with current students so we could ask them questions from a students point of view without faculty present. The final hour was spent being split into a smaller group and meeting with a faculty member and a current student to answer questions and to ask questions of our own.
Tym and I had lunch after the interview and I told him how I great I felt and how at peace I felt about how everything went. I told him that I was so impressed with the program, the faculty, the students, and everything about UC and that as long as I get in, I'll be starting there in June! I'll find out in two or three weeks if I got in or not so now I'm just patiently playing a waiting game. Ok...maybe not patiently. :-p
Megan and I went to dinner last night to celebrate how good I felt about the interview and then I came to my cousin's to have a sleepover. We made brownies and did makeovers and just hung out. Today we're off to Indianapolis for Micah's dance competition.
Alright, I need to get the girls out of the tub and then shower myself. Have a great rest of the weekend!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Interview!
I should be in bed because I have my UC interview in the morning and I have to be up at 6:30 but I just can't go to bed until I unwind and have time to sort out my thoughts.
It's been a really rough week. After Cru on Tuesday night, I walked out crying because the message and the worship impacted me so much. It gave me so much to think about and God is really working on my heart right now. Tym and Megan listened to me cry the whole way home about everything and I'm grateful for them letting me just pour my soul out to them.
Work is still amazing minus the one student I have who does nothing but bite other kids. I don't know what to do with him anymore and his parents are no help. Even our directors don't know what to do with him. *sigh* It should be interesting to see how tomorrow goes.
I'm spending the night with my cousins tomorrow since we didn't get to do it last weekend. We're going to stay up late and talk and giggle and just have fun. I love those kids and it's going to be such a fun night.
I'm going with those same kids to Indianapolis on Saturday for Micah's dance competition. We got a hotel with an indoor pool and I can't wait to swim. Plus road tripping (even a short distance) with my family is always fun!
Alright, I'm off to check my bank account and then get to bed. Wish me luck tomorrow!
It's been a really rough week. After Cru on Tuesday night, I walked out crying because the message and the worship impacted me so much. It gave me so much to think about and God is really working on my heart right now. Tym and Megan listened to me cry the whole way home about everything and I'm grateful for them letting me just pour my soul out to them.
Work is still amazing minus the one student I have who does nothing but bite other kids. I don't know what to do with him anymore and his parents are no help. Even our directors don't know what to do with him. *sigh* It should be interesting to see how tomorrow goes.
I'm spending the night with my cousins tomorrow since we didn't get to do it last weekend. We're going to stay up late and talk and giggle and just have fun. I love those kids and it's going to be such a fun night.
I'm going with those same kids to Indianapolis on Saturday for Micah's dance competition. We got a hotel with an indoor pool and I can't wait to swim. Plus road tripping (even a short distance) with my family is always fun!
Alright, I'm off to check my bank account and then get to bed. Wish me luck tomorrow!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Teaching thoughts
I'm sitting in the computer lab at work and after having a conversation with one of my co-workers, I just found a school that will let me get my early childhood licensure and and my master's all at the same time. I just requested information and next payday, I intend to apply for this program. I didn't find any deadlines and I'm holding off until next week because I'm broke.
I want to teach. After being here in the preschool, it's what I want more than anything. I obviously am still going to my interview for school counseling at UC Friday, but we'll see what happens. I'm going to pray this out and see where it goes. I'm just excited that I finally found a school here in Cincinnati that will give me my licensure and my master's all at the same time!
I want to teach. After being here in the preschool, it's what I want more than anything. I obviously am still going to my interview for school counseling at UC Friday, but we'll see what happens. I'm going to pray this out and see where it goes. I'm just excited that I finally found a school here in Cincinnati that will give me my licensure and my master's all at the same time!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Life comes at you fast
This was actually a fairly decent weekend. The rest of the week at work went well and Thursday was low key with four kids out in our class alone and kids out everywhere else in the building. We got paid this week and my check is gone already thanks to my lovely student loan payment and my Visa bill. Slowly but surely I'm determined to pay that stupid thing off, even if it takes me forever.
Friday night I actually stayed in and watched scary movies with my mom. I ended up falling asleep on the couch after she went to bed and got about nine or ten hours of sleep that night.
Saturday my body actually woke me up early enough that I went to the gym and got a workout in before my crazy day started. I weighed in since it was the end of the month and I'm down eight pounds this month and 14 total since Christmas! I'm pretty pumped about that and have decided I'm only going to weigh in once a month so no more weigh ins until the end of March for me. :-)
I did a lot of running Saturday. I got my haircut, got Logan's birthday gift, and then went home to get ready for his party. We had a bunch of family here and Dave came too which was great. He kept me sane because I was struggling with some emotions for reasons I'm not ready to talk about and he listened to me vent later that night in the car. He's such an amazing friend and I'm so grateful we're still as close as we used to be.
We rented Swing Vote that night and he stayed over until midnight while we watched it and hung out. It was nice and a much needed catch up night for us because he listened to me vent about some personal stuff I haven't told anyone else (including my best friends) and we talked about the wedding plans he and Katie have been talking about this week.
Oh yeah! He proposed to Katie last weekend and she said yes! I'm super excited for them and can't wait to attend their wedding next spring. It's going to be bittersweet for many reasons that I won't get into but I'm so incredibly happy for him because I know how much he loves this girl. We're trying to get the three of us together to hang out because while I've met her, we haven't gotten the chance to actually hang out and gotten to know each other.
Today I went to church and the sermon was amazing. We talked about passionate worship and it gave me a lot to think about. Our new church building is being dedicated next week since the construction and everything is finally finished. We're celebrating with a potluck which I'm sad I won't be there for because I'll be in Indianapolis for my cousin's dance competition.
After church I went to lunch with Brittany and Joe where we sat and talked and laughed for two hours. I love those two and am so grateful for their friendships. It also gave me a lot to think about, stuff I don't particularly want to post on blogspot because it's too public (those on Bloop and OD will probably get a friends only entry tomorrow or later this week about some of this personal stuff).
After lunch I went over to Carolyn's and hung out with the family for a bit. She took me next door to meet her neighbor Kim and Kim's dogs because they're going to England next week for two weeks so I'm going to house sit for them.
Then I had dinner with my parents and my sister and my sister and Megan and I went to see He's Just Not That Into You, which was cute for the most part but not something I'd probably see again. I don't know. I'm still debating that one.
For now, I'm off to get some sleep because it's back to work tomorrow. This is going to be a busy busy week. Night all.
Friday night I actually stayed in and watched scary movies with my mom. I ended up falling asleep on the couch after she went to bed and got about nine or ten hours of sleep that night.
Saturday my body actually woke me up early enough that I went to the gym and got a workout in before my crazy day started. I weighed in since it was the end of the month and I'm down eight pounds this month and 14 total since Christmas! I'm pretty pumped about that and have decided I'm only going to weigh in once a month so no more weigh ins until the end of March for me. :-)
I did a lot of running Saturday. I got my haircut, got Logan's birthday gift, and then went home to get ready for his party. We had a bunch of family here and Dave came too which was great. He kept me sane because I was struggling with some emotions for reasons I'm not ready to talk about and he listened to me vent later that night in the car. He's such an amazing friend and I'm so grateful we're still as close as we used to be.
We rented Swing Vote that night and he stayed over until midnight while we watched it and hung out. It was nice and a much needed catch up night for us because he listened to me vent about some personal stuff I haven't told anyone else (including my best friends) and we talked about the wedding plans he and Katie have been talking about this week.
Oh yeah! He proposed to Katie last weekend and she said yes! I'm super excited for them and can't wait to attend their wedding next spring. It's going to be bittersweet for many reasons that I won't get into but I'm so incredibly happy for him because I know how much he loves this girl. We're trying to get the three of us together to hang out because while I've met her, we haven't gotten the chance to actually hang out and gotten to know each other.
Today I went to church and the sermon was amazing. We talked about passionate worship and it gave me a lot to think about. Our new church building is being dedicated next week since the construction and everything is finally finished. We're celebrating with a potluck which I'm sad I won't be there for because I'll be in Indianapolis for my cousin's dance competition.
After church I went to lunch with Brittany and Joe where we sat and talked and laughed for two hours. I love those two and am so grateful for their friendships. It also gave me a lot to think about, stuff I don't particularly want to post on blogspot because it's too public (those on Bloop and OD will probably get a friends only entry tomorrow or later this week about some of this personal stuff).
After lunch I went over to Carolyn's and hung out with the family for a bit. She took me next door to meet her neighbor Kim and Kim's dogs because they're going to England next week for two weeks so I'm going to house sit for them.
Then I had dinner with my parents and my sister and my sister and Megan and I went to see He's Just Not That Into You, which was cute for the most part but not something I'd probably see again. I don't know. I'm still debating that one.
For now, I'm off to get some sleep because it's back to work tomorrow. This is going to be a busy busy week. Night all.
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