Weekend bullets

So this weekend was decent. Friday was rough but the rest of the weekend was fun, minus what woke us up this morning at our hotel in Columbus. Since it's late (yes it's 11:45 and I think it's late-shocking I know!) here are bullets of what happened. Details to come Tuesday since I'm going to the Reds game after work tomorrow.

• Road tripped to Columbus with Carolyn and Micah for her dance competition.
• Went to see Hannah Montana the movie during this trip. Not gonna lie-I loved it. :-P
• Had yummy pizza and watched more Disney channel in one night than I have in awhile.
• Got a 6 a.m. wake up call from the front desk saying Carolyn's car had been broken into. They took our gps and my sunglasses.
• Found out when we checked out at 10 that we were only one of three cars broken into overnight.
• This fact made us paranoid for the rest of the day so all valuables got taken into the competition.
• The competition itself was tough. Micah did well though. She took top first for both her jazz and her acro routines. Overall, acro took 8th place and jazz took 6th. We were surprised but she competed against teams from across the nation so I think that's pretty darn good in my opinion. I'm proud of her!
• I went for a run after I got home from Columbus and survived to tell about it.
• Had some sister bonding at the grocery store.
• Now it's bedtime.
• I had to edit this post three times for grammar and wording because I'm exhausted. :-P

Night world!

Spoken from the heart

Do you ever wish that just once you could tell someone how you truly feel but know you can't because they'll get upset and offended?

Welcome to my everyday life. If you're privy to it, I have a FO entry over on Bloop because I can't spill how I feel into the blogger world.

I need some time to clear my head. I think getting out of Cincinnati for the next two weekends will be good for me. I need some time away to figure things out.

Ok, time to go pack. See ya Sunday.

Run

I went on my first official run today after work with the two directors of my preschool and one of the other teachers. My co-director Brandy is my gym nazi (as I lovingly call her...no seriously I love that she's my gym nazi!) so she's holding me accountable for wanting to run the half-marathon next year. We've decided to go walking/running every Wednesday after work.

Today we would walk for five minutes and then run for a couple minutes. I am so ridiculously sore it's not even funny. Everyone says the day after is worse so we'll see how tomorrow goes. :-P

Even though I'm sore, I'm proud of myself for sticking it out, even as my lungs screamed at me. Slowly but surely I'm going to be able to do this!

Oh...and I got puked on today. Wonderful. The weekend can't get here soon enough.

It's official!!

I just got off the phone with the Hampton Inn registration people and it's official: Megan and I are going to Raleigh, North Carolina July 10-12th for Bethany's wedding!!! :-D

I haven't seen Bethany since she graduated from OU and I miss her like crazy! I wish I could get the time off of work to go before the wedding but that's okay. She's going to make a beautiful bride and I'm so stinkin excited to attend her wedding.

I told Megan I'd do some searching because we're going to have all of Friday and part of Saturday to explore and hang out before the wedding. I'm just excited for a road trip with Megan! Anyone who knows us knows that the two of us in a car could be asking for trouble but we're going to have a blast!

Ahhhh I am sooo excited! Finally something to look forward to this summer!

Spring spring spring

I love when spring comes. I sometimes wonder if I suffer from seasonal depression during the winter because I'm always so bummed. When the sun finally comes back with the warm weather it's like I'm a whole new person.

It's so beautiful out today. I had some errands to run and I did so with the music up and the windows down! I think I showed my age though because while other people were blasting that crap rap that people call music I was blasting LFO and singing along. :-P

The original plan for tonight was to go down to Newport and enjoy the first nice night of spring at the Levee but since Britt is traveling for work tomorrow we decided to stay in West Chester and just go get pizza and hang out. I'm just excited for a girls night.

I still haven't heard from UC yet. I'm officially sending an e-mail tonight because it's been over six weeks since I interviewed and we were told 2-3 weeks at most. One of the girls I met at the interview got her rejection letter two weeks ago and I still haven't heard anything. I'm assuming this means I'm wait listed but it would be nice to know for sure so I can start figuring out how to defer my loans and stuff again.

Alright, I'm off. I think I'm going to go grab a book and go out and enjoy this beautiful weather!

So you had a bad day

Love love love that song. It sums up my day today. Today had to be hands down one of the worst days I've had in awhile. It was so bad that as soon as I walked out the door of the school I got in my car and started crying. I haven't done that since Lighthouse. Hopefully this is one of the only times work will make me cry.

I made my day better by going to the gym. I met for an initial consult with a personal trainer tonight and he worked me out big time. After doing weights, I went and did 20 minutes on the elliptical so now I at least feel good.

I'm about to go out with Megan, Tym, and Amy for a bit. I really need a friends night so I'm grateful they agreed to my last minute plans.

I better go get ready. See ya.

Confused

I got a letter from my biological dad tonight. I'm trying to decide if I should even bother responding to it. I went from being shocked to upset and crying to angry. I took my anger out at the gym and now I'm sore. I guess the good point is that I got a killer workout in tonight.

I still can't believe he wrote to me. After three or four years of silence, I got a letter today out of the blue. I don't even know what to think about it.

I'm talking to Tym and Amy tomorrow before Cru to figure out what to do. Part of me wants to respond to the letter and another part just wants to throw it away and forget he wrote to me. Except now I know I won't be able to.

Damn him. Damn his timing. Why now? Why couldn't he just stay away?

Ugh. I don't even know what to think. I'm going to bed. Maybe a good night's sleep will help me think more clearly.

P.S.-I think I inadvertently got asked out on a date yesterday. I'm still trying to figure that one out too.

Hmmm

Trying to figure out how to say half the stuff I want to say without it coming across the wrong way to people. It's become really hard to open up lately. I find myself stuck in conversations on the phone and in person that have awkward silences because I feel myself holding back.

Why is everyone moving forward except me? Something for me to ponder, not that I really want to because it just hurts even more.

I should start journaling again. At least in my journal I can be real and not have to pretend to be happy all the time. Maybe that will give me some peace.

I had way too much time to think during baby-sitting tonight. Never a good thing. I think that's why I stay busy all the time-so I don't have to think about all of this stuff that has built up because no one understands anymore.

Easter is tomorrow. So psyched for the Easter services at church and having dinner with my family. I'm also grateful for my gift of salvation and Christ's death on the cross for my sins. What a wonderful Savior I follow.

I should get to bed. 8:30 is going to come too early for me.

Oh I also have a twitter now. I still don't get the point but it's out there if you feel the need to follow me. :-P

She thinks you're super delicious

Has anyone seen that cell phone commercial? It makes me crack up everytime I see it just because it's become an inside joke with some friends.

It's officially baseball season! Today was Opening Day in Cincinnati, which might as well just be a holiday here. All day people have been wishing each other a happy opening day. Since I had to work (welcome to the real world haha), this is the first game I've not been able to watch since high school. Luckily, my co-teacher was able to pick up one of the local a.m. radio stations on our class radio so we listened to the game all afternoon. Sadly, we lost 2-1.

The Yankees, my other favorite team, also lost today which makes me sad. However, it doesn't make me any less excited for baseball season! I told my stepdad today that baseball season is the one time of year you won't ever hear me complain about the tv being on a sports channel all the time! We love our Cincinnati Reds!

I think since my sister is at work and the kids are with my brother in law and my parents have already gone to bed that I very well may take advantage of the quiet and go climb into bed as well. The weather has been cold and dreary all day so it's made me exhausted. We even had snow flurries today! One more day of this and then the warm weather comes back. Winter, I did not miss you!

Bed early is definitely sounding appealing tonight. G'night all!

Finding myself in the Lord

This entry may be all over the place as I try to explain some of what I've been feeling lately.

I gave my life to the Lord back in November of 2002 and immediately launched myself into events at church. I was active in the youth group and then I started volunteering with the children's ministry. Over the last seven years, I've done everything from leading crews at Vacation Bible Adventure to subbing as one of the preschool Sunday school teachers. Occasionally, I've helped out with other events at the church and last night was no different.

Last night, my church showed the movie Fireproof. I offered to help serve desserts and do whatever else needed to be done before the movie began. After we had gotten the dessert table set up and the coffee bar organized, I got pulled to the nursery for about 15 minutes until the people who had signed up to work in there arrived.

When I finally got in to watch the movie, I could feel God tugging at my heart and urging me to listen to what it was He wanted to tell me. I began praying and asking God to reveal Himself to me and what it was He wanted me to know and the more I prayed, the more I realized how much I have a heart for outreach ministry. Our church doesn't have a set outreach team, which I think is a shame. We had so many people show up last night who weren't from our church and it was such an encouragment to me to watch as members of our congregation reached out to them and made them feel welcome.

I was at church until almost 11 last night helping with the movie and then cleaning up afterward. This morning, I got up to go for coffee (ok I had a smoothie!) with my mentor and we were talking about how last night's event was such a success. I told her how I wish our church could do more outreach events and how I would love to be able to volunteer and do outreach ministry within our church.

I also shared with her something that I've had trouble accepting myself. Megan is the reason that I started going to Bethany and for that I am grateful. But for seven years, I've followed in her shadow and her ministry. When she moved to Baltimore one summer to do her youth ministry internship, I stepped in and was "Megan" for a summer and took her job in the nursery so it would still be there when she got back. When people at church used to see me, they used to ask where she was because we were attached at the hip.

It was for this reason that I have always had a tough time stepping out and finding a place in the church that "fits" and is my ministry, a place I can pour my heart and soul into. Last night was hard for me. It was hard to step up and be like, "Yes, I want to help!" In reality, all day I had been trying to think of excuses why I couldn't go and couldn't be there but I also felt God calling me to be there and to help with this outreach event and I'm so glad I did.

It's hard when you feel that you're only following in someone's footsteps but I realize that slowly God is revealing His desires for my heart and life to me and I'm loving it. I truly have a heart for outreach and I know that I'm going to be watching our church bulletins closely for opportunities to get involved. I think my heart for outreach stems from working with the inner city youth at my last job because it's also the reason I want to do school counseling. I want to give youth that "last chance" that otherwise they may not get elsewhere. I believe that our church has the ability to do great things and I believe that God is going to work through us so long as we continue to have a passion to serve Him and love the members of our community.

I also have a heart for both our children and our youth. Tomorrow I'm filling in in the preschool Sunday school class and I told Mrs. G. today that if I enjoyed it, I would be more than happy to fill in for the summer since I know they need someone in there on a regular basis. I also told our youth leader that Iwould love to help support his ministry and volunteer if needed.

I feel like the pieces of my life are slowly coming together. I still haven't heard from UC but like I told Mrs. G. today-God knows where I'm going to be this fall. He knows the plans for my life even before I do. If for some reason I don't get into grad school for this fall, it doesn't mean I'm not meant to go back to school. It just means the time isn't right. God might use that extra time to do great things through me. I don't know what His plans are but I trust that He has me right where He wants me. I don't need to follow in someone else's footsteps and their shadow because that's not what God wants. He wants to work through me and He has great plans for me. I just need to learn to listen to His voice and not the voice that tells me I can't do something. Through Christ I can do all things. To know I'm living God's plan for my life is an amazing feeling and I can't wait to see where He takes me next.

One of those weeks

It's been one of those weeks. I don't really feel like updating and nothing is really wrong but I've just been in a blah mood all week.

Highlight of my week though:

1. Micah keeps nailing her back handsprings at dance! She is doing amazing! So proud of that little girl.

2. I'm going to see New Kids on the Block in June with Megan and some friends from work. Yep, be jealous. :-)