Family

After eight years away from Youngstown, it's become natural to not feel any sort of emotions when I talk about my family. The first couple of years I lived in Cincinnati, it was hard being away and I thought everything would be the same. Then I realized that secretly, people were actually upset that my mom had chosen to move us out of a rough situation to make a better life for us.

When I went to Youngstown in October, I went to see my aunt and uncle for the first time in over a year. Since my biological father has moved to Florida apparently, I had no qualms over stopping in for a visit. While I was there, my cousin Terry Lee called to talk to my aunt and uncle. It's been almost seven years since I've seen him and no one even bothered to tell me that a year ago he moved with his boyfriend to Denver. I was crushed when I realized we weren't in the same state anymore.

We talked for almost half an hour on the phone and during that half an hour, we reconnected on the same level that we had always been on. While he's almost 15 years older than me (maybe more?) we were always close growing up. He was my favorite family member and the one I could always count on for a laugh and a smile when I was down. He gave me his e-mail address and phone number and told me to keep in touch because he misses me and talks about me on occasion.

That reconnection was so sweet. I never expected it, but it was exactly what I needed. However, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to e-mail him, even over the holidays when I missed him the most, thinking the reconnection had just been a fluke. Tonight though, I had been thinking about him and realized I was never going to get over my fear if I didn't e-mail him so that's exactly what I did.

I was so stupid to think it was a fluke because he e-mailed me back not even an hour later and it was like no time at all had passed. He's encouraging me to come for a visit and if I could afford it, I would in a heartbeat. As it is, my credit card is just about maxed out thanks to student loans and car problems but I'm thinking a good portion of my tax refund (if it's decent) could go towards a plane ticket out there because seven years is a long time to go without seeing someone you care so much about.

Even though it feels as if the rest of my family in Youngstown has pretty much forgotten about me, it's comforting to know that there will always be one person who will always be a part of my life. For me, that's all I need. :-)