I know I'm a little early but I also know that things are about to get crazy so I wanted to update before I leave the country this weekend. We're spending tomorrow evening at my grandma's with the immediate family to exchange gifts. Saturday I head up to Oxford for Christmas dinner at my aunt and uncle's so long as we don't get all the snow they're calling for. Then Christmas night we're doing our gift exchange with my parents and my sister and brother in law and the kids. Then Sunday morning at 3 a.m. I leave for the Bahamas!!!
Things have been crazy busy for the last couple of weeks. I was finally allowed to run again last Saturday so I've been to the gym twice this week and I'm headed there in the morning for a long run before I leave for vacation this weekend. I only have to do four miles this weekend so it shouldn't take more than an hour to get my run in tomorrow. My sister is also joining Fitworks which is exciting!
Work has been pretty slow. Most of my kids were out this week because they either had parents who were teachers who were off this week or older siblings who were off of school. Many of my students brought me gifts and my favorites have been the home made ones that the kids have made me.
I've been in a funk lately where I haven't felt like being social but have forced myself to be social anyway. It also doesn't help that all of my friends are in relationships lately but me. I hate this time of year because it reminds me of how incredibly lonely I am.
I've been thinking of goals I want to meet next year. I don't want to call them resolutions because I always fail miserably at them so I want these to be goals that I know are attainable in the new year. I'll elaborate on those when I get back from vacation.
My vacation is the biggest thing going on right now! On Sunday two of my co-workers and I are driving down to Cocoa Beach, Florida to spend the night before we sail out on our four day cruise to the Bahamas on Monday! We sail out on Monday and then dock in Cococay, Royal Caribbean's private Island on Tuesday. Megan plans to lay on the beach all day while Michelle and I are going to go snorkeling! It's on my bucket list so I'm excited to cross it off! Wednesday we dock in Nassau and spend the day exploring. Thursday we sail all day and then Friday we dock back in Port Canaveral.
The girls and I are spending New Year's Eve in Orlando at Caribe Royal, this amazing hotel not far from Disney! You can check the hotel out: www.thecaribeorlando.com/caribe-royal/ We got a pretty good deal for one night and we're excited to ring in 2011 somewhere warm! We're going to House of Blues for dinner and then who knows what the night holds! I can't wait to actually do something fun for New Year's for once!
I'm not even dreading the 16 hour car drive each way because I know Megan and Michelle and I will make it fun. I can't wait for this bonding experience. The three of us need this.
For now, I'm off to clean up my room and start packing while I watch Beauty and the Beast on my new to me tv and dvd player from my parents. My mom got my stepdad a blu-ray player for Christmas and then they got a flat screen tv for their room so their bigger tv is now in my room and my tiny little tv from college is now in the kid's room for my nieces and nephew when they stay here.
Alright, I'm seriously off now. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! See you all when I get back from the Bahamas!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
It's that time of year again
Well, it's officially that time of year again. The time of year I dread being a teacher. It's wintertime. And with winter comes snow. Words can't even describe the dread I feel when I hear the word snow in the forecast. Ever since I spun out and did a 180 and ended up facing oncoming traffic the Christmas I worked retail, I've been terrified to drive in the snow. Going off the road twice on my way to work last year didn't help either.
This year will be a little bit different because Andrea just got hired at my work and tomorrow is her first day. She's much more comfortable driving in snow and she has four wheel drive so she's going to drive us to work on days that it snows, like tomorrow. It's been steadily snowing here since about 3 this afternoon. It stopped for awhile but there's another band moving in around rush hour tomorrow morning which means it's going to be a nightmare.
The roads are already a mess. I ran to the grocery store before it really started coming down and I slid going around corners and then slid through a stop sign in my neighborhood. While I'm still not looking forward to having to be in a car in the snow in the morning, I'm feeling a little bit better that someone else is driving, someone who is used to driving in crazy weather like this.
All of the local schools are already delaying or closing, including the two districts closest to where I work. It'll be interesting to see if my boss decided to delay us or not. Typically we never close or delay, regardless of how bad it is outside. In the two years I've been at the preschool we've closed once and delayed twice I think. I'm hoping tomorrow will be different, but I don't expect it to be.
It does make me grateful that I don't live in northeast Ohio anymore. I never would have made it as an adult living in Youngstown with the way it always snows there during the winter. We obviously get snow here in Cincinnati because we live in Ohio but it's nothing like the constant snow that Youngstown and Cleveland and the rest of northeast Ohio get. Down here we get a couple of inches and you'd think the world was ending. I'm guilty of that too but I've already explained why I'm so terrified to drive in the snow. I would be perfectly content to move somewhere that it doesn't snow! Or to move to Denver where it snows, but quickly melts because of the higher elevation. I just can't handle driving in it. The thought of driving in snow literally sends me into a panic. I am going to be so grateful and I'm going to owe Andrea for driving to work all winter!
Alright, I'm off t oget to bed because I have to be up 45 minutes earlier than normal so we can leave earlier than normal to make it on time. Still crossing fingers for a delay or a closing!!
This year will be a little bit different because Andrea just got hired at my work and tomorrow is her first day. She's much more comfortable driving in snow and she has four wheel drive so she's going to drive us to work on days that it snows, like tomorrow. It's been steadily snowing here since about 3 this afternoon. It stopped for awhile but there's another band moving in around rush hour tomorrow morning which means it's going to be a nightmare.
The roads are already a mess. I ran to the grocery store before it really started coming down and I slid going around corners and then slid through a stop sign in my neighborhood. While I'm still not looking forward to having to be in a car in the snow in the morning, I'm feeling a little bit better that someone else is driving, someone who is used to driving in crazy weather like this.
All of the local schools are already delaying or closing, including the two districts closest to where I work. It'll be interesting to see if my boss decided to delay us or not. Typically we never close or delay, regardless of how bad it is outside. In the two years I've been at the preschool we've closed once and delayed twice I think. I'm hoping tomorrow will be different, but I don't expect it to be.
It does make me grateful that I don't live in northeast Ohio anymore. I never would have made it as an adult living in Youngstown with the way it always snows there during the winter. We obviously get snow here in Cincinnati because we live in Ohio but it's nothing like the constant snow that Youngstown and Cleveland and the rest of northeast Ohio get. Down here we get a couple of inches and you'd think the world was ending. I'm guilty of that too but I've already explained why I'm so terrified to drive in the snow. I would be perfectly content to move somewhere that it doesn't snow! Or to move to Denver where it snows, but quickly melts because of the higher elevation. I just can't handle driving in it. The thought of driving in snow literally sends me into a panic. I am going to be so grateful and I'm going to owe Andrea for driving to work all winter!
Alright, I'm off t oget to bed because I have to be up 45 minutes earlier than normal so we can leave earlier than normal to make it on time. Still crossing fingers for a delay or a closing!!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Excitement!
Since my last bitter and upset entry, things have actually started to turn around. I got an e-mail while I was at work today saying that my computer was ready to be picked up! I picked it up from the Geek Squad at Best Buy on my way home from work and was pleasantly surprised and ecstatic to find out that they had managed to save EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING! I didn't lose any of my music, my pictures, or my documents! This is great news because I was devestated at the thought of losing all of my pictures but luckily that didn't turn out to be the case!
The other night I spent three and a half hours at Megan's house taking my Stats final since my computer was at Best Buy. After I had submitted it, our scores were made available and I had failed. And I don't mean by a little. I got a 49% on the final which gave me what I thought was a solid C+ in the class. For our program, we have to get a B- in every graded class we take so I was distraught at the thought of having to retake Stats because I had missed a B- by three tenths of a point.
Imagine my surprise tonight when I logged into blackboard to send my professor an e-mail and found that she had posted our final grades and I got a solid B in the class. Not a C+, not a B-, but a solid B! This means I won't have to retake the class this summer like I thought I would! This also means I won't have to cancel my trip to Denver!! WOO!!
I'm not really sure how I wound up with a B. It looks like she added a point in somewhere but that still should have given me a B- but I'm not complaining. I am so excited that I don't have to retake this class because I hate math so Stats was the bane of my existence this quarter. I'll have to review it a little bit this summer before I take the comps exam to graduate but otherwise I AM DONE FOREVER with Stats! Sweet!
Since school is now officially over for the quarter, I can start looking forward to spending Christmas with my family. I'm also looking forward to Christmas Eve services at my church. We have a candlelight service each year and it's my favorite night of the year to be in church. Then the day after Christmas two of my co-workers and I are headed to Florida for our cruise to the Bahamas on the 27th! We sail from the 27th through the 31st and then we're spending New Year's Eve in Orlando before heading back to Ohio on the 1st. I can't wait because I'm ready for a vacation and because I think it's going to be an amazing bonding experience for Megan, Michelle, and I. :-)
Now I am off to snuggle under my warm fleece blanket and watch The Santa Clause on ABC Family. I love Christmas time. :-)
The other night I spent three and a half hours at Megan's house taking my Stats final since my computer was at Best Buy. After I had submitted it, our scores were made available and I had failed. And I don't mean by a little. I got a 49% on the final which gave me what I thought was a solid C+ in the class. For our program, we have to get a B- in every graded class we take so I was distraught at the thought of having to retake Stats because I had missed a B- by three tenths of a point.
Imagine my surprise tonight when I logged into blackboard to send my professor an e-mail and found that she had posted our final grades and I got a solid B in the class. Not a C+, not a B-, but a solid B! This means I won't have to retake the class this summer like I thought I would! This also means I won't have to cancel my trip to Denver!! WOO!!
I'm not really sure how I wound up with a B. It looks like she added a point in somewhere but that still should have given me a B- but I'm not complaining. I am so excited that I don't have to retake this class because I hate math so Stats was the bane of my existence this quarter. I'll have to review it a little bit this summer before I take the comps exam to graduate but otherwise I AM DONE FOREVER with Stats! Sweet!
Since school is now officially over for the quarter, I can start looking forward to spending Christmas with my family. I'm also looking forward to Christmas Eve services at my church. We have a candlelight service each year and it's my favorite night of the year to be in church. Then the day after Christmas two of my co-workers and I are headed to Florida for our cruise to the Bahamas on the 27th! We sail from the 27th through the 31st and then we're spending New Year's Eve in Orlando before heading back to Ohio on the 1st. I can't wait because I'm ready for a vacation and because I think it's going to be an amazing bonding experience for Megan, Michelle, and I. :-)
Now I am off to snuggle under my warm fleece blanket and watch The Santa Clause on ABC Family. I love Christmas time. :-)
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Rotten timing
So let's start with the good news shall we? I went to the doctor yesterday and after three and a half hours and a set of xrays, the doctor told me that I was just having muscle spasms. She put me on a steroid package for a week and gave me muscle relaxers to help me sleep shall I need them. I took the first dose last night and I woke up PAIN FREE this morning! I've taken two doses this morning and I'm feeling pretty good. No pain, nothing.
That's the good news. Let's move on to the bad news shall we? I was on runner's world reading an article about marathons and my computer went spastic and started telling me that I need to defrag my computer and that it couldn't find my hard drive and I had no space on my c drive. WHAT?!? So I defragged like it told me to and nothing worked. I started to suspect that I had a virus so I backed up all of my school files and took my computer to the geek squad at Best Buy.
Sure enough, I have some virus that masquerades as a computer program saying you need to scan your computer and as you scan, it slowly wipes out your hard drive. I had to pay $212 so Best Buy can wipe out my hard drive, scan it for viruses, and fix everything. I'm going to lose all of my pictures, files, and music. I don't care about the files because I backed those up since I need them for school. But I'm pissed about the music and the pictures.
Vince says my Itunes should restore itself so I'm hoping that's the case. Most of the music on my Itunes is stuff I uploaded and very little of it is stuff I actually paid for so if that's the case it'll just be a tedious task to reload some of my cds on there. The longest task will be putting my Vince mixes back on there because he doesn't give me a playlist so I have to google all of the lyrics to figure them out! :-P
What rotten freaking timing for this to happen. I still need to take my Stats final so I'm going to use Megan's computer tonight when she gets home from work since my parents computer (which I'm currently using) is super slow. This would happen to me during finals week. Ughhhhh.
I had to wipe out my vacation fund for my cruise the week after Christmas to pay for my computer so now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for gas and the hotel on my way to Florida. I have a financial aid refund coming on the 27th which will help on the way back but I don't know how I'm going to pay for gas and the hotel on the way there. I cried on the way home from Best Buy because I was so angry.
Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me during finals week?? Something bad happens every quarter during finals. Last quarter I had strep, this quarter my computer crashes. Ugh! I hate my life today.
That's the good news. Let's move on to the bad news shall we? I was on runner's world reading an article about marathons and my computer went spastic and started telling me that I need to defrag my computer and that it couldn't find my hard drive and I had no space on my c drive. WHAT?!? So I defragged like it told me to and nothing worked. I started to suspect that I had a virus so I backed up all of my school files and took my computer to the geek squad at Best Buy.
Sure enough, I have some virus that masquerades as a computer program saying you need to scan your computer and as you scan, it slowly wipes out your hard drive. I had to pay $212 so Best Buy can wipe out my hard drive, scan it for viruses, and fix everything. I'm going to lose all of my pictures, files, and music. I don't care about the files because I backed those up since I need them for school. But I'm pissed about the music and the pictures.
Vince says my Itunes should restore itself so I'm hoping that's the case. Most of the music on my Itunes is stuff I uploaded and very little of it is stuff I actually paid for so if that's the case it'll just be a tedious task to reload some of my cds on there. The longest task will be putting my Vince mixes back on there because he doesn't give me a playlist so I have to google all of the lyrics to figure them out! :-P
What rotten freaking timing for this to happen. I still need to take my Stats final so I'm going to use Megan's computer tonight when she gets home from work since my parents computer (which I'm currently using) is super slow. This would happen to me during finals week. Ughhhhh.
I had to wipe out my vacation fund for my cruise the week after Christmas to pay for my computer so now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for gas and the hotel on my way to Florida. I have a financial aid refund coming on the 27th which will help on the way back but I don't know how I'm going to pay for gas and the hotel on the way there. I cried on the way home from Best Buy because I was so angry.
Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me during finals week?? Something bad happens every quarter during finals. Last quarter I had strep, this quarter my computer crashes. Ugh! I hate my life today.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Pain
I should be in bed sleeping because I'm exhausted but I'm waiting on the cd Vince made for me to finish uploading to my Itunes. For whatever reason the last three songs have taken about two hours to upload. Ridiculous! Luckily I don't have to be up early because I called into work so I can go to the doctor's in the morning.
Oh yes...you read that right. I have to drag my butt all the way downtown to campus to go the student health center because I can't use my health insurance anywhere but there. I managed to pull or twist something in my back on Thursday or Friday and the pain has been getting progressively worse over the weekend to the point that I literally could not sit up this morning when I woke up. I've been wearing icy hot patches since yesterday afternoon and taking aleve and extra strength excedrin like it's candy. With the patches on I can function and my back just feels stiff, as if I've sat in a car too long, but without them, I can't sit, stand up straight, or bend over without being in excruciating pain. I thought it would go away by the time the weekend was over and instead it just keeps getting worse so off to the doctor I go tomorrow. Ugh. I wouldn't care so much if I could use my insurance somewhere closer instead of having to drive the 30 minutes to campus just to see a doctor.
I spent the weekend in Athens visiting Vince. I hadn't seen him since my birthday and he's stuck in Athens over winter break working so I drove up to see him for the weekend. He was such a good sport putting up with my whining and taking care of me when I was in so much pain last night and today. He's the one who insisted on the excedrin and the icy hot patches and for that I'm grateful because they made it so I could actually enjoy my weekend.
When I got in on Friday night we went to Wal-mart to get stuff to cook dinner together, which actually turned into Vince cooking dinner because I had set the fire alarm off at work that afternoon. Oh yeah, you read that right too! I was heating up my kid's lunches and my own and managed to set the fire alarm off. We're still not sure what happened because I hadn't burnt anything but it still went off. At least it added some excitement to the day and like my boss said, it got our fire drill in for the month!
So back to Friday! Vince cooked us dinner and then mixed up our brownie batter while I washed the dishes from dinner. Once he had the brownies in the oven, he ran out and picked us up a bottle of wine for our movie night. We spent Friday night just laying on the futon watching Eat Pray Love while drinking the wine he had bought. After the movie we laid in bed and talked until we fell asleep. It was the perfect start to the weekend.
Saturday I had planned to stay in my pjs and work on a paper while Vince worked but our friend Krys wanted someone to get food with and persuaded me to get dressed and go out in the cold with my two favorite words in Athens: The Diner! She knows my weakness because I love The Diner and their breakfast food. It's definitely an Athens thing so of course I was persuaded to get out of bed for that! We sat and chatted for over an hour over brunch and it was so fun catching up with her. It gave me so much comfort to know that no matter how much time passes or how far apart we are, most of my college friendships have remained the same and for that I am grateful.
After brunch I worked on my paper for a couple of hours until Vince got off of work and dragged me to Wal-mart to return our Red Box movie and to get the icy hot patches. We stopped to pick up pizza for dinner and then it was right back to my paper I went. By 7:30 last night it was finished! I changed clothes and we met up with Krys and headed out to one of the local bars to celebrate me being done with my paper and to hang out. I had four drinks over the couple of hours we were there and the three of us had fun laughing and catching up. There are some ridiculous stories from last night but all in all, it was a much needed night out with two of my favorite people.
When we got back to the apartment, we laid in bed and watched Rent, after which I fell asleep and had the best night's sleep that I've had in over a week. For whatever reason I just sleep so much better when I'm in Athens than I do at home. I wonder why that is??
I woke up today and my back pain had gotten so bad that I literally could not sit up because it hurt so bad. I was in so much pain that I was in tears walking around the apartment. After taking three aleve and putting the icy hot patch on, it finally started to fade. Sometimes the pain feels like there's a giant knot in my back just above my butt (sorry tmi I know) to just being sore across my lower back from hip to hip as if I've bruised it. That's how it feels right now. I have an icy hot patch on it right now that I plan on sleeping in so that I can actually move in the morning, though I have a feeling I'll be sore anyway. I just honestly do not know what I did to it.
Once the pain started to fade, we headed uptown so I could pick up a couple of OU t-shirts. Vince also talked me into buying some extra strength excedrin which has helped immensley with the pain I'm in. Then we headed to lunch before going back and flipping between the first half of the Browns game and the first half of the Bengals game.
I got home around 5ish and have done nothing but sit around for the most part. Megan took me to Wal-mart earlier so I could get some more icy hot patches and some stuff for my lunches this week. I took a nice long hot shower when I got in which helped loosen my back up a little but now it just hurts again. I'm really hoping there's something the doctor's can do for me tomorrow because I can't take much more of this pain.
I'm so glad my boss was so understanding about me being out tomorrow. She even turned it into a joke and made me laugh, which was good because I felt horrible about calling in on a Monday of all days. I'm going to try and make it into work after I go to the doctor but we'll see how it goes tomorrow. Right now on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being no pain and 10 being excruciating pain I'd say I'm about a 6. I'm just miserable so I think I'm going to go sleep it off.
What a way to start my week. At least I had a good weekend with one of my favorite people, even though it was slightly pain filled. I'm just grateful that Vince took such good care of me and put up with all of my whining over the pain I was in. Just another reason why I love him. :-)
Ok...bedtime for real now.
Oh yes...you read that right. I have to drag my butt all the way downtown to campus to go the student health center because I can't use my health insurance anywhere but there. I managed to pull or twist something in my back on Thursday or Friday and the pain has been getting progressively worse over the weekend to the point that I literally could not sit up this morning when I woke up. I've been wearing icy hot patches since yesterday afternoon and taking aleve and extra strength excedrin like it's candy. With the patches on I can function and my back just feels stiff, as if I've sat in a car too long, but without them, I can't sit, stand up straight, or bend over without being in excruciating pain. I thought it would go away by the time the weekend was over and instead it just keeps getting worse so off to the doctor I go tomorrow. Ugh. I wouldn't care so much if I could use my insurance somewhere closer instead of having to drive the 30 minutes to campus just to see a doctor.
I spent the weekend in Athens visiting Vince. I hadn't seen him since my birthday and he's stuck in Athens over winter break working so I drove up to see him for the weekend. He was such a good sport putting up with my whining and taking care of me when I was in so much pain last night and today. He's the one who insisted on the excedrin and the icy hot patches and for that I'm grateful because they made it so I could actually enjoy my weekend.
When I got in on Friday night we went to Wal-mart to get stuff to cook dinner together, which actually turned into Vince cooking dinner because I had set the fire alarm off at work that afternoon. Oh yeah, you read that right too! I was heating up my kid's lunches and my own and managed to set the fire alarm off. We're still not sure what happened because I hadn't burnt anything but it still went off. At least it added some excitement to the day and like my boss said, it got our fire drill in for the month!
So back to Friday! Vince cooked us dinner and then mixed up our brownie batter while I washed the dishes from dinner. Once he had the brownies in the oven, he ran out and picked us up a bottle of wine for our movie night. We spent Friday night just laying on the futon watching Eat Pray Love while drinking the wine he had bought. After the movie we laid in bed and talked until we fell asleep. It was the perfect start to the weekend.
Saturday I had planned to stay in my pjs and work on a paper while Vince worked but our friend Krys wanted someone to get food with and persuaded me to get dressed and go out in the cold with my two favorite words in Athens: The Diner! She knows my weakness because I love The Diner and their breakfast food. It's definitely an Athens thing so of course I was persuaded to get out of bed for that! We sat and chatted for over an hour over brunch and it was so fun catching up with her. It gave me so much comfort to know that no matter how much time passes or how far apart we are, most of my college friendships have remained the same and for that I am grateful.
After brunch I worked on my paper for a couple of hours until Vince got off of work and dragged me to Wal-mart to return our Red Box movie and to get the icy hot patches. We stopped to pick up pizza for dinner and then it was right back to my paper I went. By 7:30 last night it was finished! I changed clothes and we met up with Krys and headed out to one of the local bars to celebrate me being done with my paper and to hang out. I had four drinks over the couple of hours we were there and the three of us had fun laughing and catching up. There are some ridiculous stories from last night but all in all, it was a much needed night out with two of my favorite people.
When we got back to the apartment, we laid in bed and watched Rent, after which I fell asleep and had the best night's sleep that I've had in over a week. For whatever reason I just sleep so much better when I'm in Athens than I do at home. I wonder why that is??
I woke up today and my back pain had gotten so bad that I literally could not sit up because it hurt so bad. I was in so much pain that I was in tears walking around the apartment. After taking three aleve and putting the icy hot patch on, it finally started to fade. Sometimes the pain feels like there's a giant knot in my back just above my butt (sorry tmi I know) to just being sore across my lower back from hip to hip as if I've bruised it. That's how it feels right now. I have an icy hot patch on it right now that I plan on sleeping in so that I can actually move in the morning, though I have a feeling I'll be sore anyway. I just honestly do not know what I did to it.
Once the pain started to fade, we headed uptown so I could pick up a couple of OU t-shirts. Vince also talked me into buying some extra strength excedrin which has helped immensley with the pain I'm in. Then we headed to lunch before going back and flipping between the first half of the Browns game and the first half of the Bengals game.
I got home around 5ish and have done nothing but sit around for the most part. Megan took me to Wal-mart earlier so I could get some more icy hot patches and some stuff for my lunches this week. I took a nice long hot shower when I got in which helped loosen my back up a little but now it just hurts again. I'm really hoping there's something the doctor's can do for me tomorrow because I can't take much more of this pain.
I'm so glad my boss was so understanding about me being out tomorrow. She even turned it into a joke and made me laugh, which was good because I felt horrible about calling in on a Monday of all days. I'm going to try and make it into work after I go to the doctor but we'll see how it goes tomorrow. Right now on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being no pain and 10 being excruciating pain I'd say I'm about a 6. I'm just miserable so I think I'm going to go sleep it off.
What a way to start my week. At least I had a good weekend with one of my favorite people, even though it was slightly pain filled. I'm just grateful that Vince took such good care of me and put up with all of my whining over the pain I was in. Just another reason why I love him. :-)
Ok...bedtime for real now.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
What's been going on?
I figured it was time for a real update since I haven't updated since the Turkey Trot. There's been a lot that has gone on, most of which I can't update about here because this blog is too public and I don't know who reads it. Those of you who are privy to my more private blog already know and if you don't know, then ask and I'll give you updates.
I think the biggest update is that I don't think things with this new guy are going to work out for numerous reasons but the biggest reason of all is because of my own heart. Again, this goes back to my more personal blog so I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm waiting to see if he's going to call or text me again. I'm not going to keep pursuing this because I just don't feel that it's right. My friends have all asked me what I would do if he were to ask me out again and I honestly don't know. That's one of those things where I'll have to wait and see as it happens.
Tonight is my last night of classes for fall quarter. Finals are next week but my finals are both online so I don't have to come to campus next week. My Stats class doesn't have an attendance policy so I skipped class tonight and I'm currently sitting in the student center working on my 10-15 page research paper I have due next week. I figured that was more important than trudging up the hill in the rain to sit through a class where the TA reads verbatim from the power point. I can do that myself.
I love that Jesus Loves Me by the Go Fish guys just came on my Itunes. Brings back such fun memories from VBA this past summer. I had so much fun with my crew of girls and then leading music for the inner city church that brought their children's ministry to our church for a mini VBA. Ok...end side tangent. :-P
I'm flying out to Arizona in April for Beth's wedding so I'm currently looking up different flight options. Every single flight I've looked at has a layover in Denver so I'm actually going to extend my layover and stay in Denver overnight because Mike's birthday falls on that Friday night and I want to be there to celebrate this year. So basically I'm looking at flying out of Dayton or Cincinnati late Thursday evening, staying in Denver Thursday night to Friday night, flying to Arizona on Friday and then flying back to Ohio on Sunday. Lots of flying but it'll be so worth it.
Speaking of Mike...I don't know what I would do without him in my life. Going out to Denver last March was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I jokingly call him my soul mate but quite honestly, he is the gay male equivalent of me. He hears everything and I mean everything about my life and we have such an open relationship that we can be brutally honest with each other without having to worry about pissing each other off and hurting each other's feelings. In the last nine months he has quickly become one of the best friends I've ever had and I would be so lost without him.
Ok, end sappy part of my entry. I really should be working on my paper. That's why I skipped class in the first place. The more I can get done over the next couple days, the less I have to do when I'm with Vince this weekend in Athens. We're having a movie and wine night on Friday night when I get into town, something we both desperately seem to need. I can't wait to curl up on his futon and just talk about everything that's happened since we last saw each other. I live for these weekends with him where I can be myself and just relax.
Ok, seriously. Time to go be studious. Or something close to that. I have an hour and a half before my next class so I need to get some work done!
I think the biggest update is that I don't think things with this new guy are going to work out for numerous reasons but the biggest reason of all is because of my own heart. Again, this goes back to my more personal blog so I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm waiting to see if he's going to call or text me again. I'm not going to keep pursuing this because I just don't feel that it's right. My friends have all asked me what I would do if he were to ask me out again and I honestly don't know. That's one of those things where I'll have to wait and see as it happens.
Tonight is my last night of classes for fall quarter. Finals are next week but my finals are both online so I don't have to come to campus next week. My Stats class doesn't have an attendance policy so I skipped class tonight and I'm currently sitting in the student center working on my 10-15 page research paper I have due next week. I figured that was more important than trudging up the hill in the rain to sit through a class where the TA reads verbatim from the power point. I can do that myself.
I love that Jesus Loves Me by the Go Fish guys just came on my Itunes. Brings back such fun memories from VBA this past summer. I had so much fun with my crew of girls and then leading music for the inner city church that brought their children's ministry to our church for a mini VBA. Ok...end side tangent. :-P
I'm flying out to Arizona in April for Beth's wedding so I'm currently looking up different flight options. Every single flight I've looked at has a layover in Denver so I'm actually going to extend my layover and stay in Denver overnight because Mike's birthday falls on that Friday night and I want to be there to celebrate this year. So basically I'm looking at flying out of Dayton or Cincinnati late Thursday evening, staying in Denver Thursday night to Friday night, flying to Arizona on Friday and then flying back to Ohio on Sunday. Lots of flying but it'll be so worth it.
Speaking of Mike...I don't know what I would do without him in my life. Going out to Denver last March was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I jokingly call him my soul mate but quite honestly, he is the gay male equivalent of me. He hears everything and I mean everything about my life and we have such an open relationship that we can be brutally honest with each other without having to worry about pissing each other off and hurting each other's feelings. In the last nine months he has quickly become one of the best friends I've ever had and I would be so lost without him.
Ok, end sappy part of my entry. I really should be working on my paper. That's why I skipped class in the first place. The more I can get done over the next couple days, the less I have to do when I'm with Vince this weekend in Athens. We're having a movie and wine night on Friday night when I get into town, something we both desperately seem to need. I can't wait to curl up on his futon and just talk about everything that's happened since we last saw each other. I live for these weekends with him where I can be myself and just relax.
Ok, seriously. Time to go be studious. Or something close to that. I have an hour and a half before my next class so I need to get some work done!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Turkey Trot 10k
I ran my first 10k this morning...in the rain! My pre-race traditions seem to continue and I couldn't sleep last night because I started doubting myself even though I know I've been training for weeks for this and knew I was more than capable to be running this morning. I set the alarm for 6:30 this morning so I could get up and eat before the race and once again, like the last three, I couldn't eat because my nerves were just too worked up. This comes back to kill me about halfway through a race because I lose all of my energy. I'm going to have to get over that for the Pig because I can't run 13.1 miles without eating anything the morning of.
Megan and I left the house around 7:10 and began our drive downtown. Of course it was pouring down rain and I knew this was how it was going to continue. However, we lucked out and by 9 a.m. when the race started, it was just a slow drizzle that really wasn't too bad. I think we got poured on once during the entire race but at that point, it felt good because we were hot from running.
We finished the full 6.2 miles in 1:39:22, which means I was able to maintain a 16 minute mile, even when walking. We walked a good chunk of it, especially the hills, but I did push myself when I was running so I feel like I'm making progress. I'm very pleased with how well we did and running in the rain this morning was a good training experience for the half-marathon because it almost always seems to rain on that day. I think I strained something in my leg though when I went sliding on the painted lines in the road and tried to keep my balance without wiping out. I took three ibuprofen when I got home from dinner which seems to have helped but I'm still limping a bit.
Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful. My aunt, my cousin, and I had all run today so by the time I got to dinner (lunch I guess since we ate at 1) I was ready to sleep. It was fun spending time with the extended family and talking about school, work, and running with them. Of course the new guy came up because my cousin Kim saw my facebook status so I shared some of what I know about him with my cousin Vicki. They're all excited for me but my uncle Gary told me if I keep him away from the family too long that when I finally do bring him around, they'll make sure they embarrass me! Oh how I love my family! :-P
Speaking of the boy, we're having brunch tomorrow! We've been chatting for the last hour through text messages and I was telling him how I want hot chocolate but don't want to go to Starbucks alone and he told me not to waste my time or energy and to make Swiss Miss instead. I told him I don't like hot chocolate from a box because it doesn't taste right or I just don't make it right. He told me he'd invite me over for a cup tonight but he doesn't want me driving in this nasty weather. How sweet is he?!? I'm looking forward to spending time with him tomorrow. :-)
Alright, half time is over. Back to yelling at my poor pitiful Bengals team. *sigh* Is it baseball season yet??
Megan and I left the house around 7:10 and began our drive downtown. Of course it was pouring down rain and I knew this was how it was going to continue. However, we lucked out and by 9 a.m. when the race started, it was just a slow drizzle that really wasn't too bad. I think we got poured on once during the entire race but at that point, it felt good because we were hot from running.
We finished the full 6.2 miles in 1:39:22, which means I was able to maintain a 16 minute mile, even when walking. We walked a good chunk of it, especially the hills, but I did push myself when I was running so I feel like I'm making progress. I'm very pleased with how well we did and running in the rain this morning was a good training experience for the half-marathon because it almost always seems to rain on that day. I think I strained something in my leg though when I went sliding on the painted lines in the road and tried to keep my balance without wiping out. I took three ibuprofen when I got home from dinner which seems to have helped but I'm still limping a bit.
Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful. My aunt, my cousin, and I had all run today so by the time I got to dinner (lunch I guess since we ate at 1) I was ready to sleep. It was fun spending time with the extended family and talking about school, work, and running with them. Of course the new guy came up because my cousin Kim saw my facebook status so I shared some of what I know about him with my cousin Vicki. They're all excited for me but my uncle Gary told me if I keep him away from the family too long that when I finally do bring him around, they'll make sure they embarrass me! Oh how I love my family! :-P
Speaking of the boy, we're having brunch tomorrow! We've been chatting for the last hour through text messages and I was telling him how I want hot chocolate but don't want to go to Starbucks alone and he told me not to waste my time or energy and to make Swiss Miss instead. I told him I don't like hot chocolate from a box because it doesn't taste right or I just don't make it right. He told me he'd invite me over for a cup tonight but he doesn't want me driving in this nasty weather. How sweet is he?!? I'm looking forward to spending time with him tomorrow. :-)
Alright, half time is over. Back to yelling at my poor pitiful Bengals team. *sigh* Is it baseball season yet??
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Twas the night before the turkey trot...
Twas the night before the turkey trot, not a creature was stirring, not even me. Okay, not quite the same tune, but you get my drift. I've been home from work since 5:15 and all I've done is lay on the couch in my pajamas. This has become my newest pre-race tradition. I don't make plans for the night before and I just relax to get myself pumped for the race.
Tomorrow is my first ever 10k, or 6.2 miles for those not familiar with the running lingo. My ipod is currently charging and has been updated with new music to keep me pumped and ready to run. The weather isn't supposed to be the greatest but at least it's not supposed to be as cold as it was today. The current forecast for 9 a.m. is scattered showers and temps in the mid 50s. I can handle the temps but running in the rain will be new territory for me. At least it'll toughen me up (as my uncle so lovingly said earlier on facebook!) to get me ready for the Pig because it seems like it rains every year on the day of the Pig.
As I stared at my running clothes in the bathroom earlier, it amazes me how much I've changed and grown in the last year. This time last year I was a year into my gym contract but wasn't running at all. A year later, I'm up to six miles and halfway through my training for the half marathon. I never thought I'd be a person who loves to run but it's become my stress relief, the one thing that keeps me sane through the crazy parts of my life. More of my money has gone towards new running clothes in the last few months than anything else I've bought and I don't regret a single cent of it.
I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my training is to NOT set a time goal for myself. I know my pace and I know what I'm comfortable at so setting a time goal isn't what matters. What matters is that I cross that finish line and prove to myself that I was able to do something I never thought I could do.
I never thought I'd be at this place, training for and actually running different races but this is my life now and I love it. I love this confident person I've become since I started running. I love being able to walk into a room with my head held high knowing I'm comfortable in my own skin and proud of how far I've come.
Here's to an amazing race tomorrow! 6.2 miles here I come!!
Tomorrow is my first ever 10k, or 6.2 miles for those not familiar with the running lingo. My ipod is currently charging and has been updated with new music to keep me pumped and ready to run. The weather isn't supposed to be the greatest but at least it's not supposed to be as cold as it was today. The current forecast for 9 a.m. is scattered showers and temps in the mid 50s. I can handle the temps but running in the rain will be new territory for me. At least it'll toughen me up (as my uncle so lovingly said earlier on facebook!) to get me ready for the Pig because it seems like it rains every year on the day of the Pig.
As I stared at my running clothes in the bathroom earlier, it amazes me how much I've changed and grown in the last year. This time last year I was a year into my gym contract but wasn't running at all. A year later, I'm up to six miles and halfway through my training for the half marathon. I never thought I'd be a person who loves to run but it's become my stress relief, the one thing that keeps me sane through the crazy parts of my life. More of my money has gone towards new running clothes in the last few months than anything else I've bought and I don't regret a single cent of it.
I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my training is to NOT set a time goal for myself. I know my pace and I know what I'm comfortable at so setting a time goal isn't what matters. What matters is that I cross that finish line and prove to myself that I was able to do something I never thought I could do.
I never thought I'd be at this place, training for and actually running different races but this is my life now and I love it. I love this confident person I've become since I started running. I love being able to walk into a room with my head held high knowing I'm comfortable in my own skin and proud of how far I've come.
Here's to an amazing race tomorrow! 6.2 miles here I come!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
First date
Last night was the best first date I've ever been on. I wasn't 100% sure going into it that it was a date but about half an hour into it, I realized it was, not only because he insisted on paying for dinner as soon as we sat down but because he actually called it a date. *insert girly squeal here!*
I went over to my friend Amy's after work to change clothes and get ready which was so fun in itself. It's been so long since I've gotten ready for a night out with one of my girl friends. We had Pandora cranked up on my blackberry and we were trading make up back and forth and talking about my date. I jokingly told Amy at one point that I didn't know who was more excited, me or her! She held me hostage after I had gotten ready because she told me I needed to be "fashionably late." She finally let me leave and even though I was still early, Jeremy was already waiting for me.
We sat down to dinner and as soon as we sat down he told me to order whatever I wanted, that it was on him. I looked at him and told him that he didn't have to pay for dinner but he told me that he knew that, but because he had asked me out he was paying. As soon as we ordered (after a huge fiasco with our waiter who was a jerk for the rest of the night) we just started talking. Once we started, it was non-stop for the rest of the time we were together. We talked about everything from politics to religion to education and even his kids. He had me laughing so much and at times so hard that people at the table next to us kept looking over at us!
At one point, Amy and our other co-worker Missy "crashed" my date! They knew that Jeremy was taking me to O'Charley's for dinner and they came in and looked for me. Once they got to our table, they acted like they didn't know I was going to be there and then made it a point not only to introduce themselves to Jeremy, but to point out the fact that I had straightened my hair and put make up on. *cue blushing* I was mortified! Luckily Jeremy took it all in stride and was so polite to them. I was ten shades of red when they walked away but Jeremy took us right back into conversation and all of my morification just melted away at how quickly he made me comfortable again.
Eventually we moved our date from O'Charley's to Dairy Queen where we sat and talked for another two hours. We got comfortable with each other to the point that we were actually teasing each other and poking fun at each other, especially at our ages. I can't help but wonder if maybe part of him is concerned about the fact that we're ten years apart because he joked about it a lot while we were on our date. Whenever he would bring it up I'd tease right back and then we'd slip right back into conversation.
Not once during the night was there an awkward pause or a loss of conversation. You just couldn't shut the two of us up. The only reason we ended our date when we did was because the girl at Dairy Queen was sweeping the floor and we thought they were closing. We ended up lingering in the parking lot for about 15 more minutes just talking and at one point you could tell we were awkwardly trying to figure out how to say goodnight, whether we should hug or just leave so we just left. haha! If you couldn't tell we were on a first date before then, you definitely could after!
I think the best part of the entire evening was when we were talking about the things we do outside of work and our churches came up. It was such a sigh of relief for me to find out that we believe the same things spiritually! The only difference in our church going beliefs is that he prefers a more traditional service and I prefer the contemporary service at my church. I actually have a worship mix on my Itunes that I'm going to burn and give to him the next time we hang out because he told me he's willing to try anything once so I figured I'd share with him why I like what I do.
I know it was only a first date, but I really like this one. I'm hoping he stays around for awhile. I know the timing is going to be slower than your typical dating relationship, especially because there are kids involved, but I am not opposed to seeing where this goes, especially since I now know we share the same spiritual beliefs. Along with that, we even talked about raising kids and being a stay at home mom! (Not as in us of course-just in general). He told me he's not opposed to his wife going back to work once the kids are at a school age but before that, he thinks kids are better raised at home with their family and not in an all day day-care or preschool setting. (This all came up because we were talking about my job and I griped about parents like that). When he made those comments, I just wanted to swoon right there. I love that we're already on the same page about that!
The cynical side of me is already looking for reasons why this could fall apart while the emotional side of me is ready to jump in head first. I'm praying like crazy to guard my own heart so that I don't get hurt. I know there's a chance it could happen but he's the first guy I've met in awhile that I'm willing to take that risk with. This is all happening so quickly that I'm still processing. I never expected to agree to letting Andrea introduce us last week and then actually going out on a date this week.
I'm ready to take this as slow as it needs to go and I'm praying for guidance on it, for protection of my heart, and for God to show us what His plan is. That alone is the most important factor in my opinion. It's such a comfort to know we share a mutual love for the Lord. That's so important to me in a relationship.
I haven't been able to stop smiling since Friday. I was alone in the car tonight and just kept thinking of Friday night and I could feel the grin just slide across my face. I have butterflies whenever I think of him and I'm excited for the next time we get to spend time together.
Now that it's taken over an hour to write this entry (I've been distracted several times!) I'm going to bed to pray this out and then get some sleep.
Sweet dreams. I know mine will be. :-)
I went over to my friend Amy's after work to change clothes and get ready which was so fun in itself. It's been so long since I've gotten ready for a night out with one of my girl friends. We had Pandora cranked up on my blackberry and we were trading make up back and forth and talking about my date. I jokingly told Amy at one point that I didn't know who was more excited, me or her! She held me hostage after I had gotten ready because she told me I needed to be "fashionably late." She finally let me leave and even though I was still early, Jeremy was already waiting for me.
We sat down to dinner and as soon as we sat down he told me to order whatever I wanted, that it was on him. I looked at him and told him that he didn't have to pay for dinner but he told me that he knew that, but because he had asked me out he was paying. As soon as we ordered (after a huge fiasco with our waiter who was a jerk for the rest of the night) we just started talking. Once we started, it was non-stop for the rest of the time we were together. We talked about everything from politics to religion to education and even his kids. He had me laughing so much and at times so hard that people at the table next to us kept looking over at us!
At one point, Amy and our other co-worker Missy "crashed" my date! They knew that Jeremy was taking me to O'Charley's for dinner and they came in and looked for me. Once they got to our table, they acted like they didn't know I was going to be there and then made it a point not only to introduce themselves to Jeremy, but to point out the fact that I had straightened my hair and put make up on. *cue blushing* I was mortified! Luckily Jeremy took it all in stride and was so polite to them. I was ten shades of red when they walked away but Jeremy took us right back into conversation and all of my morification just melted away at how quickly he made me comfortable again.
Eventually we moved our date from O'Charley's to Dairy Queen where we sat and talked for another two hours. We got comfortable with each other to the point that we were actually teasing each other and poking fun at each other, especially at our ages. I can't help but wonder if maybe part of him is concerned about the fact that we're ten years apart because he joked about it a lot while we were on our date. Whenever he would bring it up I'd tease right back and then we'd slip right back into conversation.
Not once during the night was there an awkward pause or a loss of conversation. You just couldn't shut the two of us up. The only reason we ended our date when we did was because the girl at Dairy Queen was sweeping the floor and we thought they were closing. We ended up lingering in the parking lot for about 15 more minutes just talking and at one point you could tell we were awkwardly trying to figure out how to say goodnight, whether we should hug or just leave so we just left. haha! If you couldn't tell we were on a first date before then, you definitely could after!
I think the best part of the entire evening was when we were talking about the things we do outside of work and our churches came up. It was such a sigh of relief for me to find out that we believe the same things spiritually! The only difference in our church going beliefs is that he prefers a more traditional service and I prefer the contemporary service at my church. I actually have a worship mix on my Itunes that I'm going to burn and give to him the next time we hang out because he told me he's willing to try anything once so I figured I'd share with him why I like what I do.
I know it was only a first date, but I really like this one. I'm hoping he stays around for awhile. I know the timing is going to be slower than your typical dating relationship, especially because there are kids involved, but I am not opposed to seeing where this goes, especially since I now know we share the same spiritual beliefs. Along with that, we even talked about raising kids and being a stay at home mom! (Not as in us of course-just in general). He told me he's not opposed to his wife going back to work once the kids are at a school age but before that, he thinks kids are better raised at home with their family and not in an all day day-care or preschool setting. (This all came up because we were talking about my job and I griped about parents like that). When he made those comments, I just wanted to swoon right there. I love that we're already on the same page about that!
The cynical side of me is already looking for reasons why this could fall apart while the emotional side of me is ready to jump in head first. I'm praying like crazy to guard my own heart so that I don't get hurt. I know there's a chance it could happen but he's the first guy I've met in awhile that I'm willing to take that risk with. This is all happening so quickly that I'm still processing. I never expected to agree to letting Andrea introduce us last week and then actually going out on a date this week.
I'm ready to take this as slow as it needs to go and I'm praying for guidance on it, for protection of my heart, and for God to show us what His plan is. That alone is the most important factor in my opinion. It's such a comfort to know we share a mutual love for the Lord. That's so important to me in a relationship.
I haven't been able to stop smiling since Friday. I was alone in the car tonight and just kept thinking of Friday night and I could feel the grin just slide across my face. I have butterflies whenever I think of him and I'm excited for the next time we get to spend time together.
Now that it's taken over an hour to write this entry (I've been distracted several times!) I'm going to bed to pray this out and then get some sleep.
Sweet dreams. I know mine will be. :-)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sweetly dreaming
I know I need to share details but all you get tonight is that I had a great time on my date and have so much peace about seeing where this goes. For tonight, I just want to soak in the details by myself before sharing them with the world.
All I can say is that tonight's dreams will be very, very sweet.
All I can say is that tonight's dreams will be very, very sweet.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Second date!
Guess who has a second date tomorrow night?!? I DO!!!!
Jeremy and I were texting this afternoon and talking about getting coffee after work tomorrow when he suggested dinner instead! So we're getting dinner tomorrow night when I get off of work!!!
AHHH!!! I am freaking out right now!!! I'm hoping I can eat since I haven't been able to keep anything down but toast today.
And I'm soooo nervous!!! AHHH!!!! I'm going to be freaking out all day tomorrow!! And this entry has taken me a million tries to write because I'm so excited I keep making typos!!
AHHH!!! YAY!!!!
Jeremy and I were texting this afternoon and talking about getting coffee after work tomorrow when he suggested dinner instead! So we're getting dinner tomorrow night when I get off of work!!!
AHHH!!! I am freaking out right now!!! I'm hoping I can eat since I haven't been able to keep anything down but toast today.
And I'm soooo nervous!!! AHHH!!!! I'm going to be freaking out all day tomorrow!! And this entry has taken me a million tries to write because I'm so excited I keep making typos!!
AHHH!!! YAY!!!!
Just my luck
As I write this, I'm currently sitting at home curled up on the couch under my UC blanket. I took a sick day from work today after getting sent home yesterday afternoon right after my lunch break because I started getting sick. It all came on quickly.
At 10:30 yesterday morning I started getting really bad stomach cramps but still felt fine. I thought I was just hungry. Over the course of the next hour as I sat down to lunch with my kiddos, it got so bad that I was doubled over holding my stomach. Stacey sent me to the bathroom and even that didn't help. At noon one of our other girls came over to break me and I sat in my car trying to convince myself I wasn't sick. That only worked for about 45 minutes before I finally did get sick. Twice in ten minutes to be exact so Stephanie sent me home. I spent about eight and a half hours getting sick before it finally passed. I fell asleep around midnight and slept until 10:30 this morning.
I feel okay right now. In fact, I woke up hungry but I figured I should probably try and keep water down first before I attempt food. Last night I couldn't even keep water down. I really want some toast and juice but I'm going to wait for another hour or so to make sure this bug has really passed. The best part of it is that it truly is short lived. It last about 12-24 hours and then it's done.
The best perk of being sick? I've been curled up in bed watching episodes of Law and Order SVU and Bones on Netflix. This morning there's a House marathon on so I'm sitting on the couch watching that right now. I can't fathom the idea of laying in bed anymore because I've been laying in bed since two yesterday afternoon and my back actually hurts from laying in bed for so long.
I should go strip my bed and wash the sheets now since I spent all day yesterday sick in bed. Blah.
At 10:30 yesterday morning I started getting really bad stomach cramps but still felt fine. I thought I was just hungry. Over the course of the next hour as I sat down to lunch with my kiddos, it got so bad that I was doubled over holding my stomach. Stacey sent me to the bathroom and even that didn't help. At noon one of our other girls came over to break me and I sat in my car trying to convince myself I wasn't sick. That only worked for about 45 minutes before I finally did get sick. Twice in ten minutes to be exact so Stephanie sent me home. I spent about eight and a half hours getting sick before it finally passed. I fell asleep around midnight and slept until 10:30 this morning.
I feel okay right now. In fact, I woke up hungry but I figured I should probably try and keep water down first before I attempt food. Last night I couldn't even keep water down. I really want some toast and juice but I'm going to wait for another hour or so to make sure this bug has really passed. The best part of it is that it truly is short lived. It last about 12-24 hours and then it's done.
The best perk of being sick? I've been curled up in bed watching episodes of Law and Order SVU and Bones on Netflix. This morning there's a House marathon on so I'm sitting on the couch watching that right now. I can't fathom the idea of laying in bed anymore because I've been laying in bed since two yesterday afternoon and my back actually hurts from laying in bed for so long.
I should go strip my bed and wash the sheets now since I spent all day yesterday sick in bed. Blah.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thoughts from "that" girl
Since Friday, I have found myself being "that" girl. The one sitting by the phone, whose heart leaps into her throat each time it rings or beeps with a text message, hoping it's the guy she went out with over the weekend. Each time, my heart comes crashing back down with disappointment.
I don't know how to do this. It's been so long since I've gone out on a real date that I don't know how it works anymore. I know that this situation especially is delicate because there are kids involved. I never thought I'd let myself even consider dating a man who has kids and now I find myself genuinely interested in getting to know this guy and I don't know how to work this situation.
I've text him here and there but so far nothing seems to pan out from his end. Andrea keeps telling me I need to take it slow, that he's been hurt in the past and that if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have asked for my phone number and suggested we get together again. But still, my stupid girl heart keeps thinking that because he hasn't called, he's truly not interested. On Sunday evening, I suggested we get coffee later in the week or over the weekend and his response was "I'll try. I'll text you again later in the week" and my girl brain took that to mean he truly wasn't interested and didn't want to see me again.
I hate that I've gotten my hopes up, that I've met someone I actually want to get to know, and now I find myself being the girl I always hated-the one sitting by the phone waiting for a guy who may or may not call her. I hate that I've done this to myself and the fact that everyone is being vocal on their opinions of this particular person. All I want is to be happy and instead I'm making my own self miserable by waiting on something that may or may not happen and letting everyone give me their two cents, when really it doesn't matter what anyone but myself thinks.
How long do I wait before I call him and ask him to get together? I don't want to be pushy but I genuinely do want to get to know him. So how long do I wait for him before I give in and call him?
AHHHHHH!!!! WHY HAVE I BECOME THAT GIRL THAT I HATE?!?!?
I don't know how to do this. It's been so long since I've gone out on a real date that I don't know how it works anymore. I know that this situation especially is delicate because there are kids involved. I never thought I'd let myself even consider dating a man who has kids and now I find myself genuinely interested in getting to know this guy and I don't know how to work this situation.
I've text him here and there but so far nothing seems to pan out from his end. Andrea keeps telling me I need to take it slow, that he's been hurt in the past and that if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have asked for my phone number and suggested we get together again. But still, my stupid girl heart keeps thinking that because he hasn't called, he's truly not interested. On Sunday evening, I suggested we get coffee later in the week or over the weekend and his response was "I'll try. I'll text you again later in the week" and my girl brain took that to mean he truly wasn't interested and didn't want to see me again.
I hate that I've gotten my hopes up, that I've met someone I actually want to get to know, and now I find myself being the girl I always hated-the one sitting by the phone waiting for a guy who may or may not call her. I hate that I've done this to myself and the fact that everyone is being vocal on their opinions of this particular person. All I want is to be happy and instead I'm making my own self miserable by waiting on something that may or may not happen and letting everyone give me their two cents, when really it doesn't matter what anyone but myself thinks.
How long do I wait before I call him and ask him to get together? I don't want to be pushy but I genuinely do want to get to know him. So how long do I wait for him before I give in and call him?
AHHHHHH!!!! WHY HAVE I BECOME THAT GIRL THAT I HATE?!?!?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Blind date
Since I'm home, I figure it's time to give you all details since I left you all hanging in suspense on Friday. Denise, read no further until I call you tonight!
Last week, I wrote an entry about how Megan wanted to set me up on a blind date and that I had agreed to let her give this guy she knows my phone number. Well, nothing came of that because he never called me or anything.
On Thursday night, I drove up to Dayton to have dinner and hang out with Andrea who was in town for a funeral. We had such a great time hanging out and laughing with her family and it was such a good reminder for us that no matter how far apart we are, we'll always be best friends. I can't imagine what life would be like without her.
On Friday morning, she was working out of Cincinnati International Airport (she actually works in Minneapolis) so we were chatting on the phone on our drives to work. She asked me about my facebook status about the blind date so I shared with her about Megan wanting to set me up. She then proceeded to tell me about this guy she works with when she works at CVG (the airport) and that she thought we would like each other. I fought her for awhile, telling her I had gotten my hopes up earlier in the week and that I wasn't going through that. She kept pushing so I finally agreed to it because I honestly didn't think it would go anywhere.
I'm not normally the type of person to wait by my phone but I checked it during a quick break I had taken at work and I had three text messages from her. One was a picture of Jeremy (that's his name) and two others were text messages saying that he thought I was cute and wanted to know when my break was because he wanted to drive in and take me to lunch. At first I was hesitant until she told me that she would be there to act as a buffer incase Jeremy and I didn't hit it off.
Well, imagine my surprise when we actually DID hit it off. We found out that we both have a slightly crazy obsession with Disney and we both love to travel. We chatted about Denver and it turns out he knows a lot of the places I've been to. We got so wrapped up in our conversation at one point that poor Andrea was just sitting in a corner texting her boyfriend on her cell phone. I apologized for that later but she told me it was what she had wanted to happen. haha
At the end of lunch (which he paid for!) he held the door open for us and then he shook my hand which I thought was cute. haha We exchanged numbers and I told him that we should do this again sometime without Andrea, which made both of us laugh. I went back to work all smiles and then had to explain myself to all of my coworkers and my boss, all of whom knew about my date because originally they weren't going to give me a lunch break and were going to send me home at 3 since I was supposed to leave at 4 anyway. I put my foot down though and fought Stacey until she agreed to find someone to cover me so I could still go on my date. Of course the entire staff found out, which doesn't surprise me since I work with 25 women! Gossip spreads quickly!
When I got off of work, I text Jeremy to tell him thank you for lunch and that I had a really good time. We chatted for a bit before I had to leave for camp and I haven't talked to him since because he's in Tennessee for the weekend. I haven't been able to get my mind off of him and did text him once last night to tell him I hoped he was having fun but left it at that. The ball is in his court now so if he really did like me, then it's his move.
Now, I owe you all an explanation. I was leery of going out with Jeremy because Andrea had told me he was 36, had been married, and has kids. Four of them to be exact. The age wasn't a factor for me, nor was the fact that he had been married. I can deal with those. But the fact that he has kids is a little scary for me. However, I decided to give it a try anyway and really surprised myself when I genuinely liked him. I hadn't expected to hit it off with him and counted this as one of those things I was doing to get Andrea off of my back so I was shocked when we clicked imediately.
I still have reservations about him having kids but at this stage in my life, the people in my life aren't surprised by the fact that I would even consider it. I've always been more mature for my age so dating someone older than me isn't an issue. Things just always get scary when kids are involved and when exes are involved. Considering I've never been in a relationship, this would be new territory for me.
I'm not sure what's going to happen honestly. Like I said, the ball is in his court. In the last 48 hours however, I've found myself being "that" girl, the one who is anxiously sitting by the phone waiting to see if he's going to call or not. It's driving me crazy that he hasn't, even though I know he's in Tennessee with his kids and that today they're driving home. He has full custody so I know things are going to be completely different for him than for me so I need to be patient.
The fact that he hasnn't called yet is giving me doubts though and making my brain go crazy. I text Andrea this morning and told her that I was afraid he hadn't called yet because he really didn't think I was cute and didn't like me, etc. Being the great best friend she is, she immediately sent me back a reply saying "Has he given you a reason to doubt? No! Remember he's with his kids, he could be driving home. You have to be patient," which I know is true. His timing is going to be different than mine, especially because he does have the kids. It's just driving me crazy not knowing if he actually liked me or not.
So there you have it. I had a really great time on Friday and I actually really liked him. I prayed about it a lot this weekend during fall retreat with the kids and I have peace about seeing where this goes, if it goes anywhere. I never thought I would consider this but I'm interested to see if it does go anywhere. I'm just a bundle of nerves waiting to see if anything is going to come of it. I know you risk getting hurt anytime you open yourself to something new and this is no different. It still doesn't make it easy. I hate waiting and I'm not the most patient person in the world but I'm trying.
I still have butterflies and smile whenever I think of Friday so we'll see what happens!
Last week, I wrote an entry about how Megan wanted to set me up on a blind date and that I had agreed to let her give this guy she knows my phone number. Well, nothing came of that because he never called me or anything.
On Thursday night, I drove up to Dayton to have dinner and hang out with Andrea who was in town for a funeral. We had such a great time hanging out and laughing with her family and it was such a good reminder for us that no matter how far apart we are, we'll always be best friends. I can't imagine what life would be like without her.
On Friday morning, she was working out of Cincinnati International Airport (she actually works in Minneapolis) so we were chatting on the phone on our drives to work. She asked me about my facebook status about the blind date so I shared with her about Megan wanting to set me up. She then proceeded to tell me about this guy she works with when she works at CVG (the airport) and that she thought we would like each other. I fought her for awhile, telling her I had gotten my hopes up earlier in the week and that I wasn't going through that. She kept pushing so I finally agreed to it because I honestly didn't think it would go anywhere.
I'm not normally the type of person to wait by my phone but I checked it during a quick break I had taken at work and I had three text messages from her. One was a picture of Jeremy (that's his name) and two others were text messages saying that he thought I was cute and wanted to know when my break was because he wanted to drive in and take me to lunch. At first I was hesitant until she told me that she would be there to act as a buffer incase Jeremy and I didn't hit it off.
Well, imagine my surprise when we actually DID hit it off. We found out that we both have a slightly crazy obsession with Disney and we both love to travel. We chatted about Denver and it turns out he knows a lot of the places I've been to. We got so wrapped up in our conversation at one point that poor Andrea was just sitting in a corner texting her boyfriend on her cell phone. I apologized for that later but she told me it was what she had wanted to happen. haha
At the end of lunch (which he paid for!) he held the door open for us and then he shook my hand which I thought was cute. haha We exchanged numbers and I told him that we should do this again sometime without Andrea, which made both of us laugh. I went back to work all smiles and then had to explain myself to all of my coworkers and my boss, all of whom knew about my date because originally they weren't going to give me a lunch break and were going to send me home at 3 since I was supposed to leave at 4 anyway. I put my foot down though and fought Stacey until she agreed to find someone to cover me so I could still go on my date. Of course the entire staff found out, which doesn't surprise me since I work with 25 women! Gossip spreads quickly!
When I got off of work, I text Jeremy to tell him thank you for lunch and that I had a really good time. We chatted for a bit before I had to leave for camp and I haven't talked to him since because he's in Tennessee for the weekend. I haven't been able to get my mind off of him and did text him once last night to tell him I hoped he was having fun but left it at that. The ball is in his court now so if he really did like me, then it's his move.
Now, I owe you all an explanation. I was leery of going out with Jeremy because Andrea had told me he was 36, had been married, and has kids. Four of them to be exact. The age wasn't a factor for me, nor was the fact that he had been married. I can deal with those. But the fact that he has kids is a little scary for me. However, I decided to give it a try anyway and really surprised myself when I genuinely liked him. I hadn't expected to hit it off with him and counted this as one of those things I was doing to get Andrea off of my back so I was shocked when we clicked imediately.
I still have reservations about him having kids but at this stage in my life, the people in my life aren't surprised by the fact that I would even consider it. I've always been more mature for my age so dating someone older than me isn't an issue. Things just always get scary when kids are involved and when exes are involved. Considering I've never been in a relationship, this would be new territory for me.
I'm not sure what's going to happen honestly. Like I said, the ball is in his court. In the last 48 hours however, I've found myself being "that" girl, the one who is anxiously sitting by the phone waiting to see if he's going to call or not. It's driving me crazy that he hasn't, even though I know he's in Tennessee with his kids and that today they're driving home. He has full custody so I know things are going to be completely different for him than for me so I need to be patient.
The fact that he hasnn't called yet is giving me doubts though and making my brain go crazy. I text Andrea this morning and told her that I was afraid he hadn't called yet because he really didn't think I was cute and didn't like me, etc. Being the great best friend she is, she immediately sent me back a reply saying "Has he given you a reason to doubt? No! Remember he's with his kids, he could be driving home. You have to be patient," which I know is true. His timing is going to be different than mine, especially because he does have the kids. It's just driving me crazy not knowing if he actually liked me or not.
So there you have it. I had a really great time on Friday and I actually really liked him. I prayed about it a lot this weekend during fall retreat with the kids and I have peace about seeing where this goes, if it goes anywhere. I never thought I would consider this but I'm interested to see if it does go anywhere. I'm just a bundle of nerves waiting to see if anything is going to come of it. I know you risk getting hurt anytime you open yourself to something new and this is no different. It still doesn't make it easy. I hate waiting and I'm not the most patient person in the world but I'm trying.
I still have butterflies and smile whenever I think of Friday so we'll see what happens!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Quick teaser!
Just a quick teaser to say I went out on a "date" today with a guy that one of my other friends set me up with. This one was completely different than the one I mentioned in the last entry and it all happened so quickly.
I have to leave for camp but I just wanted to leave a teaser saying that I went on a date and I'll fill you in when I get back on Sunday. All I can say is-I can't stop smiling and I have butterflies!
I have to leave for camp but I just wanted to leave a teaser saying that I went on a date and I'll fill you in when I get back on Sunday. All I can say is-I can't stop smiling and I have butterflies!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Matchmaker
Just a quick entry before bed because my four mile run is finally kicking in and the adrenaline has worn off so now I'm just exhausted.
Megan and I had dinner tonight and I was able to share with her a lot of what was on my heart, things I've been letting build up for awhile that I spilled out in an e-mail to my dear friend Heather last night. In the midst of that conversation, Megan jokingly asked me if she could set me up with a guy she used to date, someone who she's still friends with but thinks would be good for me.
At first, I told her she was crazy. But then I started thinking about it and kept asking myself what harm there could be in it. After all, I don't exactly travel in social circles with many available guys in my age group so how else am I going to meet someone if I don't put myself out there right? I posed the question to my facebook status and it wasn't long before I had close to 20 comments on it, some saying I shouldn't do it, but most saying I should.
I finally caved and gave Megan permission to work her magic. She has apparently given this guy my phone number and now I'm just waiting to see how this works outs. About an hour later I decided I didn't want to be "that" girl who sits by the phone anxiously waiting for a guy to call or not call so I made myself go to the gym and run the four miles I needed to run tonight, even though I had contemplated not going because Denise was working late. Those four miles did wonders for me because I was able to clear my head and forget about it while I watched the CMA's.
I had a great run though and loved pushing myself harder and further than I've pushed myself in the last several months of my training. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning but it will be so well worth it.
Alright, I should get some sleep because I'm chaperoning fall retreat with the youth this weekend and I know I won't sleep much being in a cabin with a bunch of giggly junior high and high school girls!
Megan and I had dinner tonight and I was able to share with her a lot of what was on my heart, things I've been letting build up for awhile that I spilled out in an e-mail to my dear friend Heather last night. In the midst of that conversation, Megan jokingly asked me if she could set me up with a guy she used to date, someone who she's still friends with but thinks would be good for me.
At first, I told her she was crazy. But then I started thinking about it and kept asking myself what harm there could be in it. After all, I don't exactly travel in social circles with many available guys in my age group so how else am I going to meet someone if I don't put myself out there right? I posed the question to my facebook status and it wasn't long before I had close to 20 comments on it, some saying I shouldn't do it, but most saying I should.
I finally caved and gave Megan permission to work her magic. She has apparently given this guy my phone number and now I'm just waiting to see how this works outs. About an hour later I decided I didn't want to be "that" girl who sits by the phone anxiously waiting for a guy to call or not call so I made myself go to the gym and run the four miles I needed to run tonight, even though I had contemplated not going because Denise was working late. Those four miles did wonders for me because I was able to clear my head and forget about it while I watched the CMA's.
I had a great run though and loved pushing myself harder and further than I've pushed myself in the last several months of my training. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning but it will be so well worth it.
Alright, I should get some sleep because I'm chaperoning fall retreat with the youth this weekend and I know I won't sleep much being in a cabin with a bunch of giggly junior high and high school girls!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Not where I pictured I'd be
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I think a lot of it is coming from being one of the only single people in my immediate circle of friends lately. I don't know how this has happened again but it has and it sucks. My weekends have been spent at home recently because on any given Friday and Saturday evening my friends are out on dates. Maybe that's why I've poured my life into my school work and running lately. It's the only thing I have keeping me going.
This isn't exactly where I pictured I'd be at 26. I thought by now I'd be married and getting ready to have kids. I thought I'd be out on my own instead of still living at home with my parents. The only thing that's going right is that I'm in school working on my Master's, taking steps towards being an advocate for our school children who don't have a voice for themselves. I'm living out my dream and proving to everyone who didn't believe in me growing up that I'm making something of myself.
I know that God has a plan and I know His timing is perfect, but right now, it's another season in my life that I'm struggling with. I'm struggling to understand why everyone my age is settling down in great careers, are in healthy and happy relationships, and are starting their families and God has asked me to remain single for this time. It just doesn't seem fair and maybe it's why I keep losing myself in these situations I know are unhealthy for me.
I hate that I keep letting myself fall into this season. 99% of the time I am perfectly content and don't let it bother me but every now and then I find myself struggling and wondering "why me?" I have so much else in my life that is fulfilling me that I don't know why I let this one area become the thing that I focus on. I'm running full speed ahead at my future, one that is bright as the sun and something I've always wanted to do. I'm in a place health wise where I'm taking care of my body and I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. Running has given me this amazing confidence I never knew could exist in my life. I can look in the mirror and actually like (most of the time!) the person who is looking back at me. We all have those days where nothing we own fits right or when our hair just doesn't want to sit right. It's a part of life. But I can still walk into a room with my head held high, knowing that I'm finally comfortable in my own skin.
So why is it that I still feel myself longing for something God clearly doesn't have for me right now? It's not to say He never will. He may eventually bring along the right person for me, someone He has been molding to be my husband, but right now, He's asking me to be single and to be content with that. I need to learn what that contentment is all about. In the last 11 months, I don't feel like I've learned that at all. I don't know if taking another year off dating is the right response either, but I still feel as if I have a lot to learn about God's plan for my own personal life and where He is taking me. I can already feel Him convicting me in certain areas of my life and I need to stop taking those back from Him. He's trying to teach me lessons that are going to be crucial to my future so I need to step back and let Him reveal those lessons to me or else I'm never going to be able to see the bigger picture He has for my life.
The question is: how do you begin to achieve that contentment? What am I missing and how do I allow myself to be content in the Lord? You'd think after eight years of following the Lord that I would know the answer to that but I don't. Instead, I just keep floundering and allowing myself to get caught up in all these worldly emotions that make me human. All I want is to be Christ like and to let Him guide my life. How do I stop myself from taking the pen back out of His hand?
This isn't exactly where I pictured I'd be at 26. I thought by now I'd be married and getting ready to have kids. I thought I'd be out on my own instead of still living at home with my parents. The only thing that's going right is that I'm in school working on my Master's, taking steps towards being an advocate for our school children who don't have a voice for themselves. I'm living out my dream and proving to everyone who didn't believe in me growing up that I'm making something of myself.
I know that God has a plan and I know His timing is perfect, but right now, it's another season in my life that I'm struggling with. I'm struggling to understand why everyone my age is settling down in great careers, are in healthy and happy relationships, and are starting their families and God has asked me to remain single for this time. It just doesn't seem fair and maybe it's why I keep losing myself in these situations I know are unhealthy for me.
I hate that I keep letting myself fall into this season. 99% of the time I am perfectly content and don't let it bother me but every now and then I find myself struggling and wondering "why me?" I have so much else in my life that is fulfilling me that I don't know why I let this one area become the thing that I focus on. I'm running full speed ahead at my future, one that is bright as the sun and something I've always wanted to do. I'm in a place health wise where I'm taking care of my body and I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. Running has given me this amazing confidence I never knew could exist in my life. I can look in the mirror and actually like (most of the time!) the person who is looking back at me. We all have those days where nothing we own fits right or when our hair just doesn't want to sit right. It's a part of life. But I can still walk into a room with my head held high, knowing that I'm finally comfortable in my own skin.
So why is it that I still feel myself longing for something God clearly doesn't have for me right now? It's not to say He never will. He may eventually bring along the right person for me, someone He has been molding to be my husband, but right now, He's asking me to be single and to be content with that. I need to learn what that contentment is all about. In the last 11 months, I don't feel like I've learned that at all. I don't know if taking another year off dating is the right response either, but I still feel as if I have a lot to learn about God's plan for my own personal life and where He is taking me. I can already feel Him convicting me in certain areas of my life and I need to stop taking those back from Him. He's trying to teach me lessons that are going to be crucial to my future so I need to step back and let Him reveal those lessons to me or else I'm never going to be able to see the bigger picture He has for my life.
The question is: how do you begin to achieve that contentment? What am I missing and how do I allow myself to be content in the Lord? You'd think after eight years of following the Lord that I would know the answer to that but I don't. Instead, I just keep floundering and allowing myself to get caught up in all these worldly emotions that make me human. All I want is to be Christ like and to let Him guide my life. How do I stop myself from taking the pen back out of His hand?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
The life of a busy grad student and runner
I realized I haven't done a proper update in weeks (unless you're privy to my more personal blog on another site) so I figured since I'm procrastinating that this would be the perfect time to do it. I'm not actually procrastinating-I'm giving my brain a small break after writing a reflection paper and taking a quiz before I start researching another paper and take my Stats midterm. :-P
My birthday weekend a couple weeks back was probably one of the best birthdays I've had in years, simply because I've finally reached a point in my life where I'm confident in myself and feel good about who I am and where I am in my life. Vince came in from Athens for the weekend which was fun as always. He put up with all my random shenanigans, including having to drive me home after my birthday dinner because I had two daiquiris that went straight to my head. haha
I ran a 5k the morning of my birthday celebration and finished in 47:48, cutting another minute off of my overall 5k time. I loved that I finished, but the week after the race was a difficult week in my half marathon training because I was disappointed in myself. I had set a goal of finishing in 45 minutes or under, which clearly didn't happen. On top of that, I didn't run as much of it as I had planned on doing because it was cold outside and it hurt my lungs to run in the cold. My training that week was rough because I just kept telling myself I couldn't do it, I don't know why I ever thought I could, and that I was crazy for thinking I could actually do something like running a half marathon.
Luckily, I have a GREAT training partner in Denise who was right there with me every step of the way pushing me and encouraging me and cheering me on through the darkest of moments that week. She kept reminding me of how far I've come since I officially started training in May and how far I've come in the year that I've been working out along side of her while she trained last year for the full marathon. Since that week, my training has kicked into full gear again and I'm now just weeks away from running my first 10k, which is 6.2 miles. I'm running the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day, something I have been eagerly looking forward to for the last couple of months. I completed my first four mile run last week and tomorrow I'm running five miles with Denise.
I have to give Denise major props-without her, I wouldn't be able to do this. She has been there every step of the way with me and she pushes me when I don't think I can keep running. She has put up with all of my whining about my various aches and pains (something I'm becoming accustomed to as a runner!) and my mental state and she still hasn't give up on me. If I were her, I would have gone running for the hills months ago but instead, she stays along side of me and just keeps cheering me on. She is my biggest fan and without her, I wouldn't be where I am today.
Other than the running and my birthday celebration, my life has been all work and school lately. I had to take two six hour inservices for work to keep my certification current so I spent four nights in the last two weeks at work for three extra hours both nights to sit through a Communicable Disease class and a Child Abuse and Neglect course. On those nights I also went straight to the gym for training runs, so I've been busy.
School is stressing me out this quarter. I'm taking a Group Theory and Process class, which I actually enjoy. I wish I had taken it before my practicum last spring because it would have been much more beneficial to running the groups at the school I was at. I'm also taking Stats, which has been the bane of my existence all quarter. All I do is study for that class, which is paying off because I have an A but I'm still stressed over it. I have to take my midterm tonight online so I'm praying I do well on it.
As the quarter winds down, I'm looking at one more quiz, a couple more journals, and a 10-15 page research paper for my Group Theory class. For Stats, I have I think two more assignments, the midterm, and a take home final to complete. My social life is pretty much non-existent between now and the week after Thanksgiving when the 10-15 page paper is due. The only exception to that is chaperoning fall retreat next weekend which I think will be good for us adults, along with the youth. I know all of this hard work is going to pay off when I'm looking at another quarter of excellent grades but I miss having a life!
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future and where I want to be after grad school is done. I keep going back and forth on moving to Denver and I'm trying to figure out if that's where God is really calling me to. I'm going out for two weeks in June after spring classes are over and taking the state boards out there just so I can have a back up plan incase I can't find a job here. I'm also looking at getting licensed in Kentucky and Indiana since both of those are close to Cincinnati as well. I need to do some soul searching and praying to figure out exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Speaking of my spiritual life...well, that's where I've been struggling the most. I have felt so completely empty lately and finally broke down and met with my small group leader. He encouraged me to "cut the fat" and let go of things that I don't need in my life right now. We tried to figure out where I could make cuts and decided that my side baby-sitting jobs needed to go, especially since most of the families I was sitting for waited until the last minute to call me and I was taking the jobs because I needed the money. Since I was baby-sitting so much, I wasn't getting enough time to do homework and that just added to my stress level. I was choosing to sleep in on Sundays instead of going to church because I wasn't sleeping on the weekends so I could stay up late to do homework. It was a viscious cycle and it was killing me.
My wonderful and amazing friend Heather from OU has been so incredible through all of this. She follows me on twitter and has seen some of my more distressing tweets and so she and I now have a long distance accountability partnership going. We've vowed to spend 20 minutes a day in the Word and share with each other what we've learned and what the Lord is revealing to us. It's been so helpful and has left me feeling so refreshed. God knew exactly what I needed in letting us continue our friendship since we graduated from OU, even if she's in Indiana and I'm here in Ohio. I am so blessed by her friendship and I don't know what I would do without her.
I'm slowly coming up out of the pit that I've been in and can see the light on the other side of the valley. I know we have seasons in our life where we struggle and I'm blessed by the people the Lord has brought into my life to bring me through this latest valley in my life. I still have a lot of struggles going on in my heart (if you're privy to my other blog you know this) but I know that I'm going to be okay. It's going to take baby steps but by God's grace, I know He still loves me, regardless of the sins I commit and the choices I make in my life. His grace covers all and for that I am grateful.
For now, I need to run to the grocery store and then get back to the books so I can finish this midterm and start on my research paper. A few more weeks. I can make it right?
My birthday weekend a couple weeks back was probably one of the best birthdays I've had in years, simply because I've finally reached a point in my life where I'm confident in myself and feel good about who I am and where I am in my life. Vince came in from Athens for the weekend which was fun as always. He put up with all my random shenanigans, including having to drive me home after my birthday dinner because I had two daiquiris that went straight to my head. haha
I ran a 5k the morning of my birthday celebration and finished in 47:48, cutting another minute off of my overall 5k time. I loved that I finished, but the week after the race was a difficult week in my half marathon training because I was disappointed in myself. I had set a goal of finishing in 45 minutes or under, which clearly didn't happen. On top of that, I didn't run as much of it as I had planned on doing because it was cold outside and it hurt my lungs to run in the cold. My training that week was rough because I just kept telling myself I couldn't do it, I don't know why I ever thought I could, and that I was crazy for thinking I could actually do something like running a half marathon.
Luckily, I have a GREAT training partner in Denise who was right there with me every step of the way pushing me and encouraging me and cheering me on through the darkest of moments that week. She kept reminding me of how far I've come since I officially started training in May and how far I've come in the year that I've been working out along side of her while she trained last year for the full marathon. Since that week, my training has kicked into full gear again and I'm now just weeks away from running my first 10k, which is 6.2 miles. I'm running the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day, something I have been eagerly looking forward to for the last couple of months. I completed my first four mile run last week and tomorrow I'm running five miles with Denise.
I have to give Denise major props-without her, I wouldn't be able to do this. She has been there every step of the way with me and she pushes me when I don't think I can keep running. She has put up with all of my whining about my various aches and pains (something I'm becoming accustomed to as a runner!) and my mental state and she still hasn't give up on me. If I were her, I would have gone running for the hills months ago but instead, she stays along side of me and just keeps cheering me on. She is my biggest fan and without her, I wouldn't be where I am today.
Other than the running and my birthday celebration, my life has been all work and school lately. I had to take two six hour inservices for work to keep my certification current so I spent four nights in the last two weeks at work for three extra hours both nights to sit through a Communicable Disease class and a Child Abuse and Neglect course. On those nights I also went straight to the gym for training runs, so I've been busy.
School is stressing me out this quarter. I'm taking a Group Theory and Process class, which I actually enjoy. I wish I had taken it before my practicum last spring because it would have been much more beneficial to running the groups at the school I was at. I'm also taking Stats, which has been the bane of my existence all quarter. All I do is study for that class, which is paying off because I have an A but I'm still stressed over it. I have to take my midterm tonight online so I'm praying I do well on it.
As the quarter winds down, I'm looking at one more quiz, a couple more journals, and a 10-15 page research paper for my Group Theory class. For Stats, I have I think two more assignments, the midterm, and a take home final to complete. My social life is pretty much non-existent between now and the week after Thanksgiving when the 10-15 page paper is due. The only exception to that is chaperoning fall retreat next weekend which I think will be good for us adults, along with the youth. I know all of this hard work is going to pay off when I'm looking at another quarter of excellent grades but I miss having a life!
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future and where I want to be after grad school is done. I keep going back and forth on moving to Denver and I'm trying to figure out if that's where God is really calling me to. I'm going out for two weeks in June after spring classes are over and taking the state boards out there just so I can have a back up plan incase I can't find a job here. I'm also looking at getting licensed in Kentucky and Indiana since both of those are close to Cincinnati as well. I need to do some soul searching and praying to figure out exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Speaking of my spiritual life...well, that's where I've been struggling the most. I have felt so completely empty lately and finally broke down and met with my small group leader. He encouraged me to "cut the fat" and let go of things that I don't need in my life right now. We tried to figure out where I could make cuts and decided that my side baby-sitting jobs needed to go, especially since most of the families I was sitting for waited until the last minute to call me and I was taking the jobs because I needed the money. Since I was baby-sitting so much, I wasn't getting enough time to do homework and that just added to my stress level. I was choosing to sleep in on Sundays instead of going to church because I wasn't sleeping on the weekends so I could stay up late to do homework. It was a viscious cycle and it was killing me.
My wonderful and amazing friend Heather from OU has been so incredible through all of this. She follows me on twitter and has seen some of my more distressing tweets and so she and I now have a long distance accountability partnership going. We've vowed to spend 20 minutes a day in the Word and share with each other what we've learned and what the Lord is revealing to us. It's been so helpful and has left me feeling so refreshed. God knew exactly what I needed in letting us continue our friendship since we graduated from OU, even if she's in Indiana and I'm here in Ohio. I am so blessed by her friendship and I don't know what I would do without her.
I'm slowly coming up out of the pit that I've been in and can see the light on the other side of the valley. I know we have seasons in our life where we struggle and I'm blessed by the people the Lord has brought into my life to bring me through this latest valley in my life. I still have a lot of struggles going on in my heart (if you're privy to my other blog you know this) but I know that I'm going to be okay. It's going to take baby steps but by God's grace, I know He still loves me, regardless of the sins I commit and the choices I make in my life. His grace covers all and for that I am grateful.
For now, I need to run to the grocery store and then get back to the books so I can finish this midterm and start on my research paper. A few more weeks. I can make it right?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Time to celebrate!
After an emotional week with the funeral and some other stuff going on at work, I'm ready to move forward and enjoy my weekend. Vince is coming in from Athens for the weekend to help celebrate my birthday and I can't for him to be here!
Saturday I'm running my third 5k race with Megan! She picked up our race numbers and our shirts yesterday and I'm pumped to see how well I do this time around. I'm aiming for 45 minutes or under but we'll see how I do. My goal is a good night's sleep tomorrow night so I have the proper energy for the race on Saturday morning. This one is an early one and starts at 7:45 so my plan is to shower and go back to bed for awhile when I get home. :-P
I can not wait to go out Saturday night! A big group of us are going to Don Pablos on the river for dinner and then probably hanging out in Newport somewhere. I'm not really sure what the plan is yet. Plus Adrienne's mom, who is also my second mom, is coming into town and she's going out with us so I can't wait to see her!
Alright, I need to get some sleep. I have to be at work early tomorrow because we're going to be short staffed tomorrow. Here's to a great and much needed weekend!!
Saturday I'm running my third 5k race with Megan! She picked up our race numbers and our shirts yesterday and I'm pumped to see how well I do this time around. I'm aiming for 45 minutes or under but we'll see how I do. My goal is a good night's sleep tomorrow night so I have the proper energy for the race on Saturday morning. This one is an early one and starts at 7:45 so my plan is to shower and go back to bed for awhile when I get home. :-P
I can not wait to go out Saturday night! A big group of us are going to Don Pablos on the river for dinner and then probably hanging out in Newport somewhere. I'm not really sure what the plan is yet. Plus Adrienne's mom, who is also my second mom, is coming into town and she's going out with us so I can't wait to see her!
Alright, I need to get some sleep. I have to be at work early tomorrow because we're going to be short staffed tomorrow. Here's to a great and much needed weekend!!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Bittersweet
Today is my 26th birthday and it has been bittersweet. My grandpa santa (as we affectionately called him) passed away at the young age of 86 on Friday morning and today was his funeral. I took the day off of work and school and spent the day with my family, celebrating the life of a man we all loved dearly.
I hadn't cried since my aunt called me with the news on Friday afternoon and I made it through a good chunk of the visitation until someone was talking with us and told us that the only way she could describe Grandpa to her son who had never met him was "He truly was santa claus." Cue the water works. There were many, many happy memories shared during the visitation and we spent a lot of time laughing over these sweet, sweet memories we have.
The memorial service at the church was difficult. From the moment they wheeled the flag covered coffin into the sanctuary, I was in tears. The pastor and a few others who spoke during the service moved me to tears, especially when one of grandpa's dear friends got up to the podium and shared with us how grandpa told the doctors right before his triple by pass surgery a couple of months ago that he didn't have anything to lose, because he'd either wake up in the arms of his wife or wake up in the arms of his saviour. I lost it then. To have that kind of faith astounds me and I can only hope and pray my faith is as incredible as his someday.
The service at the cemetary was hard. It was a full military service because grandpa served in the Army and fought during World War 2. I haven't been to a military service since my grandpa (my mom's dad) passed away when I was 10. I teared up during the gun salute but the water works really started when they played Taps and presented the flag to grandma Betty.
As much as it hurts at the loss of this incredible man from our lives, it brings me so much comfort to know he is waiting to greet me in Heaven and that he is walking with the Lord and taking joy and delight at being out of pain and sickness. If I didn't have that comfort of knowing that he's with the Lord I don't think I could have made it through today.
We will always miss grandpa santa and the light and joy he brought to all of our lives. I can't wait until the day we're reunited in Heaven and live together for eternity.
I hadn't cried since my aunt called me with the news on Friday afternoon and I made it through a good chunk of the visitation until someone was talking with us and told us that the only way she could describe Grandpa to her son who had never met him was "He truly was santa claus." Cue the water works. There were many, many happy memories shared during the visitation and we spent a lot of time laughing over these sweet, sweet memories we have.
The memorial service at the church was difficult. From the moment they wheeled the flag covered coffin into the sanctuary, I was in tears. The pastor and a few others who spoke during the service moved me to tears, especially when one of grandpa's dear friends got up to the podium and shared with us how grandpa told the doctors right before his triple by pass surgery a couple of months ago that he didn't have anything to lose, because he'd either wake up in the arms of his wife or wake up in the arms of his saviour. I lost it then. To have that kind of faith astounds me and I can only hope and pray my faith is as incredible as his someday.
The service at the cemetary was hard. It was a full military service because grandpa served in the Army and fought during World War 2. I haven't been to a military service since my grandpa (my mom's dad) passed away when I was 10. I teared up during the gun salute but the water works really started when they played Taps and presented the flag to grandma Betty.
As much as it hurts at the loss of this incredible man from our lives, it brings me so much comfort to know he is waiting to greet me in Heaven and that he is walking with the Lord and taking joy and delight at being out of pain and sickness. If I didn't have that comfort of knowing that he's with the Lord I don't think I could have made it through today.
We will always miss grandpa santa and the light and joy he brought to all of our lives. I can't wait until the day we're reunited in Heaven and live together for eternity.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Perspective
I should be sleeping but I wanted to blog out how I'm feeling before I head to bed so I can keep myself in check over the next month or so.
First, an update on Jen. I finally heard from her aunt last night via facebook (yes, I am that person that resorted to facebook stalking to find out how she's doing) and she told me that Jen's stroke wasn't the bad kind, that she's already regained 100% of her speech and is now trying to regain her strength. She's going through cat scans to figure out if they can put her on blood thinners to disolve the clot that caused the stroke and she's still in ICU but the doctors and neurologists are confident in how she's doing. Bonnie told me that Jen is more concerned about getting back to her students (she teaches high school history) than she is about being in the hospital. I told Bonnie that if Jen is worried about work, I know she's going to be okay. I told her that we're all praying for her and to keep me updated on how she's doing.
I met with my small group leader tonight after youth to talk about some things I have going on in my personal life. Lately I've been feeling empty, exhausted, and anti-social. I told Seth I didn't know where any of this was coming from and after a good hour long talk, I feel better about things. I know a big chunk of my problem is that I can't say no to people. Because of this, I have spread myself way too thin lately trying to do everything for everyone. I need to cut some stuff out of my life to make time for me and school. People need to understand that I'm a graduate student who also works full time. I don't have all this free time like they think that I do.
People also assume that I have all the time in the world because I'm single but I don't! I work full time, go to school part time, volunteer with our youth, go to my own small group, go to church on Sundays, and train for a half marathon. That doesn't give me a lot of free time to spare for everyone. I'm just as busy as the next person and something has to give somewhere. Seth called me on the church aspect because he's noticed that I haven't been to church in weeks. That's just one of the things I've let slide because it's easier to just sleep in on Sundays than to get up and add another thing to my "to do" list. When it comes to my faith, church needs to come first. It's important for me to be there, to have somewhere that I'm growing and being fed. I can't just not go to church because I need to sleep.
Priorities. It's all about priorities right now. I need to figure out what's more important and then figure out where I can make cuts. If I keep doing everything I'm doing now, I'm going to run myself ragged and eventually my body is just going to shut down. It's time for a much needed change so I can be a happier and healthier person phyiscally, mentally, and spiritually.
First, an update on Jen. I finally heard from her aunt last night via facebook (yes, I am that person that resorted to facebook stalking to find out how she's doing) and she told me that Jen's stroke wasn't the bad kind, that she's already regained 100% of her speech and is now trying to regain her strength. She's going through cat scans to figure out if they can put her on blood thinners to disolve the clot that caused the stroke and she's still in ICU but the doctors and neurologists are confident in how she's doing. Bonnie told me that Jen is more concerned about getting back to her students (she teaches high school history) than she is about being in the hospital. I told Bonnie that if Jen is worried about work, I know she's going to be okay. I told her that we're all praying for her and to keep me updated on how she's doing.
I met with my small group leader tonight after youth to talk about some things I have going on in my personal life. Lately I've been feeling empty, exhausted, and anti-social. I told Seth I didn't know where any of this was coming from and after a good hour long talk, I feel better about things. I know a big chunk of my problem is that I can't say no to people. Because of this, I have spread myself way too thin lately trying to do everything for everyone. I need to cut some stuff out of my life to make time for me and school. People need to understand that I'm a graduate student who also works full time. I don't have all this free time like they think that I do.
People also assume that I have all the time in the world because I'm single but I don't! I work full time, go to school part time, volunteer with our youth, go to my own small group, go to church on Sundays, and train for a half marathon. That doesn't give me a lot of free time to spare for everyone. I'm just as busy as the next person and something has to give somewhere. Seth called me on the church aspect because he's noticed that I haven't been to church in weeks. That's just one of the things I've let slide because it's easier to just sleep in on Sundays than to get up and add another thing to my "to do" list. When it comes to my faith, church needs to come first. It's important for me to be there, to have somewhere that I'm growing and being fed. I can't just not go to church because I need to sleep.
Priorities. It's all about priorities right now. I need to figure out what's more important and then figure out where I can make cuts. If I keep doing everything I'm doing now, I'm going to run myself ragged and eventually my body is just going to shut down. It's time for a much needed change so I can be a happier and healthier person phyiscally, mentally, and spiritually.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Trying to wrap my brain around it
Yesterday after work I received two pieces of bad news. My aunt called to tell me that my uncle's grandpa, the one we all affectionately called grandpa santa because of his white beard, passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning. We're all still kind of in shock and while we're all putting on a strong front, I know we're all hurting inside. The funeral is set for Tuesday so I'm taking the day off of both work and classes to be with my family.
Then, Diana called me from Youngstown. I expected her to be calling to tell me about the test she was taking for a new job and instead she was calling to tell me that our friend Jen (who she's now related to by marriage because Diana is married to Jen's cousin) had a stroke yesterday afternoon at the age of 25. The only thing we really know is that Jen apparently had a blood clot that ruptured on the left side of her brain. When I talked to Diana at 6:00 last night, Jen was still in the ER and her dad was trying to catch the next flight out to Florida to be with her. (Jen lives in Florida because her parents divorced in second grade and her mom still lives down there).
I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that Jen had a stroke at the young age of 25. She's always been one of the healthiest people I know since battling cancer at age 3 and now she's laying in the hospital because she had a stroke. How do these things happen? I just don't understand it. It's just not fair.
I'm dying for an update on how she's doing. I sent a facebook message to her mom and her aunt and I've been texting Diana every few hours to see if anyone has heard anything and I've heard nothing in over 24 hours.
I'm a mess. Between grandpa santa dying yesterday and Jen having a stroke I'm just numb. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I did a 5k walk today with a couple of my coworkers that helped clear my mind but now I'm baby-sitting and the kids are entertaining themselves so my mind is just wandering and thinking the worst and I hate that. I just want an update. I just don't understand how these things happen. :-/
Then, Diana called me from Youngstown. I expected her to be calling to tell me about the test she was taking for a new job and instead she was calling to tell me that our friend Jen (who she's now related to by marriage because Diana is married to Jen's cousin) had a stroke yesterday afternoon at the age of 25. The only thing we really know is that Jen apparently had a blood clot that ruptured on the left side of her brain. When I talked to Diana at 6:00 last night, Jen was still in the ER and her dad was trying to catch the next flight out to Florida to be with her. (Jen lives in Florida because her parents divorced in second grade and her mom still lives down there).
I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that Jen had a stroke at the young age of 25. She's always been one of the healthiest people I know since battling cancer at age 3 and now she's laying in the hospital because she had a stroke. How do these things happen? I just don't understand it. It's just not fair.
I'm dying for an update on how she's doing. I sent a facebook message to her mom and her aunt and I've been texting Diana every few hours to see if anyone has heard anything and I've heard nothing in over 24 hours.
I'm a mess. Between grandpa santa dying yesterday and Jen having a stroke I'm just numb. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I did a 5k walk today with a couple of my coworkers that helped clear my mind but now I'm baby-sitting and the kids are entertaining themselves so my mind is just wandering and thinking the worst and I hate that. I just want an update. I just don't understand how these things happen. :-/
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Road trip!
I'm headed to Youngstown tomorrow after work. I haven't been since my whirlwind trip for Diana's wedding in June so I'm excited for some much needed time with my bestie. I hate that we live four hours apart but I love that we're still so close. She understands me better than anyone I know and has put up with so much crap over the years. Plus, I'm taking her out for a run with me and I'm totally going to kick her butt! ;-)
Things have been crazy since classes started last week. I'm taking a Stats class which is completely kicking my butt. Whoever decided I should have to take Stats should be strung up by their toes. Ugh. This is the first Master's level class I've actually had to study for!
I need to start looking at studying for the comps. I'm not taking it here in Ohio until August but I'm taking the state boards in Colorado in June so eventually I'm going to have to start studying for it. Maybe over winter break. We'll see.
I had an interesting hour and a half phone call with Mike last night about politics and religion and our views on different subjects within those realms. I didn't get off the phone until almost 1 a.m. and I had to be up at 6:45 so even though I was sleep deprived today it was completely worth it to hear that someone else feels the way I do.
I should go pack but I'll wait until Jersey Shore is over in ten minutes. Hopefully I'm in bed by 11:30 so I can actually get some sleep before driving four hours after work tomorrow!
Things have been crazy since classes started last week. I'm taking a Stats class which is completely kicking my butt. Whoever decided I should have to take Stats should be strung up by their toes. Ugh. This is the first Master's level class I've actually had to study for!
I need to start looking at studying for the comps. I'm not taking it here in Ohio until August but I'm taking the state boards in Colorado in June so eventually I'm going to have to start studying for it. Maybe over winter break. We'll see.
I had an interesting hour and a half phone call with Mike last night about politics and religion and our views on different subjects within those realms. I didn't get off the phone until almost 1 a.m. and I had to be up at 6:45 so even though I was sleep deprived today it was completely worth it to hear that someone else feels the way I do.
I should go pack but I'll wait until Jersey Shore is over in ten minutes. Hopefully I'm in bed by 11:30 so I can actually get some sleep before driving four hours after work tomorrow!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Race for the Cure
This morning I ran the Race for the Cure, which was my second 5k. I've been training for this race for weeks and I was anxious to see how I'd do, especially after having two really great training runs this past week.
I wasn't excited about my 6 a.m. wake up call but as I was driving to campus to meet Tym and Amy to carpool, my race day adrenaline started kicking in and I could feel the butterflies forming in my stomach. The closer we got to downtown, the more my nerves started kicking in. When we made the walk from Newport to the stadium where the race started, my adrenaline started pumping and I just couldn't contain my excitement. We met up with Nicole, one of my co-workers and just walked around taking in the crowd. As of 7 a.m., there were 18,000 people registered for the Race! It was a much bigger and much more exciting 5k than the one I ran in August where there were only about 100 people!
A bunch of the local radio stations were there and had music going to get everyone excited. We had registered for the non-competitive run so our run started 15 minutes after the competitive one. However, we made sure we were at the front of the start line for our race so we could get out of the crowd and actually run. I started off with a slow jog and then slowed down to a fast paced walk which helped as we approached the quarter mile mark because it was a hill. Nicole and I took it at a run and made it about halfway up before we had to walk the rest of it. However, it didn't take me long to recover and we were off running again!
My race day adrenaline helped a lot because when we crossed that one mile mark at 14:58 I was shocked! I had cut almost a minute and a half off of my mile time since last month's 5k! That helped to keep me going as we approached the water stop at a little over a mile and a half and I was able to run the last quarter mile and cross the two mile mark at a run. I crossed the two mile mark at exactly 30 minutes and I wish someone had had a camera to record the smile that just spread across my face as I knew I was going to come in at the finish line under an hour again.
I had high hopes that I would finish the whole 5k at 45 minutes or under but the last mile was rough because it was a much bigger hill than the first two hills had been and I had to walk all of it. At the crest of the hill Nicole and I took off running and that downhill helped my time greatly because we crossed the finish line at exactly 48 minutes! I threw my hands up in the air and shouted in excitement because I had finished in under an hour again and had cut four minutes and 20 seconds off of last month's 5k time!!
By the time all of that kicked in, I was doubled over because I kept saying I was going to get sick. hahaha....I hadn't eaten this morning (I never do before I run) because I knew it would make me nauseous but since there was only one water stop through the course, my body had lost water and I was shaky. Luckily they handed out water bottles at the end and I downed mine as quickly as they gave it to me and I was able to recover quickly.
We walked through some of the booths they had set up and each of us had a skinny cow ice cream which was SO good post race! I was trying to save room because I really wanted a smoothie since we had parked at the levee until I later discovered that the smoothie place wasn't open when we got back to the car. Bummer. At least the ice cream was good!
I was so proud of my run time this morning and so proud of Nicole who had kept telling me last night and this morning to leave her behind as I was running because she was going to walk it. She pushed herself SO hard and did so well! Without her, Tym, and Amy cheering me on and pushing me to run further when I didn't think I could do it, I wouldn't have been able to do this. They were my support system today and I was so thankful for each of them being there with me!
I had lunch with my sister, brother in law, and the kids and then came home and soaked in a hot bath because the hills in this 5k had killed me and I was so sore! After soaking in the tub for an hour, I laid down in bed for a nap and ended up sleeping for three hours. This race had been so amazing but it just took so much out of me.
If I didn't think I was completely crazy, I'd register for a 5k that's coming up next Saturday evening but it's hills are even more killer and I'm not sure I'd do as well in it since I won't be able to train the way I need to this week because this week is a recovery week. My mom is a nurse and she thinks it's not smart and thinks I should take it easy so we'll see.
All in all, I'm very, very proud of how well I did today and the fact that I pushed myself harder this time around! All of this training is paying off and I'm well on my way to a 14 or 15 minute mile at the half marathon next May! :-)
Now I leave you with pictures from today!
Before the Race for the Cure with Tym, Amy, and Nicole! 
A hot, sweaty mess after the Race for the Cure in the parking garage!
With my Amy love!
Posing with Tym after the Race!
I wasn't excited about my 6 a.m. wake up call but as I was driving to campus to meet Tym and Amy to carpool, my race day adrenaline started kicking in and I could feel the butterflies forming in my stomach. The closer we got to downtown, the more my nerves started kicking in. When we made the walk from Newport to the stadium where the race started, my adrenaline started pumping and I just couldn't contain my excitement. We met up with Nicole, one of my co-workers and just walked around taking in the crowd. As of 7 a.m., there were 18,000 people registered for the Race! It was a much bigger and much more exciting 5k than the one I ran in August where there were only about 100 people!
A bunch of the local radio stations were there and had music going to get everyone excited. We had registered for the non-competitive run so our run started 15 minutes after the competitive one. However, we made sure we were at the front of the start line for our race so we could get out of the crowd and actually run. I started off with a slow jog and then slowed down to a fast paced walk which helped as we approached the quarter mile mark because it was a hill. Nicole and I took it at a run and made it about halfway up before we had to walk the rest of it. However, it didn't take me long to recover and we were off running again!
My race day adrenaline helped a lot because when we crossed that one mile mark at 14:58 I was shocked! I had cut almost a minute and a half off of my mile time since last month's 5k! That helped to keep me going as we approached the water stop at a little over a mile and a half and I was able to run the last quarter mile and cross the two mile mark at a run. I crossed the two mile mark at exactly 30 minutes and I wish someone had had a camera to record the smile that just spread across my face as I knew I was going to come in at the finish line under an hour again.
I had high hopes that I would finish the whole 5k at 45 minutes or under but the last mile was rough because it was a much bigger hill than the first two hills had been and I had to walk all of it. At the crest of the hill Nicole and I took off running and that downhill helped my time greatly because we crossed the finish line at exactly 48 minutes! I threw my hands up in the air and shouted in excitement because I had finished in under an hour again and had cut four minutes and 20 seconds off of last month's 5k time!!
By the time all of that kicked in, I was doubled over because I kept saying I was going to get sick. hahaha....I hadn't eaten this morning (I never do before I run) because I knew it would make me nauseous but since there was only one water stop through the course, my body had lost water and I was shaky. Luckily they handed out water bottles at the end and I downed mine as quickly as they gave it to me and I was able to recover quickly.
We walked through some of the booths they had set up and each of us had a skinny cow ice cream which was SO good post race! I was trying to save room because I really wanted a smoothie since we had parked at the levee until I later discovered that the smoothie place wasn't open when we got back to the car. Bummer. At least the ice cream was good!
I was so proud of my run time this morning and so proud of Nicole who had kept telling me last night and this morning to leave her behind as I was running because she was going to walk it. She pushed herself SO hard and did so well! Without her, Tym, and Amy cheering me on and pushing me to run further when I didn't think I could do it, I wouldn't have been able to do this. They were my support system today and I was so thankful for each of them being there with me!
I had lunch with my sister, brother in law, and the kids and then came home and soaked in a hot bath because the hills in this 5k had killed me and I was so sore! After soaking in the tub for an hour, I laid down in bed for a nap and ended up sleeping for three hours. This race had been so amazing but it just took so much out of me.
If I didn't think I was completely crazy, I'd register for a 5k that's coming up next Saturday evening but it's hills are even more killer and I'm not sure I'd do as well in it since I won't be able to train the way I need to this week because this week is a recovery week. My mom is a nurse and she thinks it's not smart and thinks I should take it easy so we'll see.
All in all, I'm very, very proud of how well I did today and the fact that I pushed myself harder this time around! All of this training is paying off and I'm well on my way to a 14 or 15 minute mile at the half marathon next May! :-)
Now I leave you with pictures from today!
Before the Race for the Cure with Tym, Amy, and Nicole! 
A hot, sweaty mess after the Race for the Cure in the parking garage!
With my Amy love!
Posing with Tym after the Race!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A season for everything
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:"
--Ecclesiastes 3:1
They say there's a reason for everything and I'm starting to believe that. What if I hadn't been in Youngstown the day my cousin called from Denver? What if I hadn't answered the phone and re-established a connection with him? What if I had stopped there instead of sending emails and planning a visit? What if I had never gone to Denver for spring break? How different would my life be?
After my trip to Denver last week, I feel like things are playing out the way they are for a reason. The pastor at the church I visited made a comment during his sermon that we weren't there by accident. We could have been at any other church in the Denver metro area that morning and instead we walked through the doors of Thorncreek for a reason. It wasn't a mistake and God had a purpose for it. That's how I feel about my visits to Colorado and for why I'm still single. Obviously God is using this stage in my life for a reason, even if I don't always understand that reason.
When I landed in Denver on my first day of my vacation, I felt like I was home again. I feel as if God is opening up doors for me and to opportunities I would never have considered before that first trip to Denver. I know I still have a little over a year and a half left of grad school but I feel like God may be molding me to come out of my comfort zone into a completely different place that He has chosen for me. There's something calling me out to Denver and it's more than just the people I've established a relationship with. I have friends in other states and other cities but you don't see me wanting to move there. I feel like all of these small visits are God's way of branching me out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown (Casting Crowns lyric anyone? haha) to mold me into a stronger woman.
For so long I have griped about being single and not understanding why I'm 25 years old and yet I've never been in a serious relationship. After a long talk with Denise last night at the gym, I realize that this could be why. Mike jokingly tells me that he thinks my soul mate is in Colorado but this is so much more than that. I don't have a boyfriend/fiance/husband, I don't have kids, and once I'm done with my Master's, I won't have school tying me down anymore. There is no reason I can't step out on a ledge and take a flying leap into something I never would have considered before. Yes, my immediate family and my best friends are here, but like my mom said, it gives them a new place to visit and I need to follow my heart and do what my heart is telling me.
I shouldn't be looking at this period in my life as traumatic and like I'm missing something. Instead, I should be looking at it as an opportunity to explore the world and do things I can't do with a husband and kids. This is my chance to be free and to be me and to let God take me where He wants to take me. He has so much to teach me and I have so many things I want to do so I'm going to choose to rejoice and I'm going to continue praying to see where this journey is going to take me.
--Ecclesiastes 3:1
They say there's a reason for everything and I'm starting to believe that. What if I hadn't been in Youngstown the day my cousin called from Denver? What if I hadn't answered the phone and re-established a connection with him? What if I had stopped there instead of sending emails and planning a visit? What if I had never gone to Denver for spring break? How different would my life be?
After my trip to Denver last week, I feel like things are playing out the way they are for a reason. The pastor at the church I visited made a comment during his sermon that we weren't there by accident. We could have been at any other church in the Denver metro area that morning and instead we walked through the doors of Thorncreek for a reason. It wasn't a mistake and God had a purpose for it. That's how I feel about my visits to Colorado and for why I'm still single. Obviously God is using this stage in my life for a reason, even if I don't always understand that reason.
When I landed in Denver on my first day of my vacation, I felt like I was home again. I feel as if God is opening up doors for me and to opportunities I would never have considered before that first trip to Denver. I know I still have a little over a year and a half left of grad school but I feel like God may be molding me to come out of my comfort zone into a completely different place that He has chosen for me. There's something calling me out to Denver and it's more than just the people I've established a relationship with. I have friends in other states and other cities but you don't see me wanting to move there. I feel like all of these small visits are God's way of branching me out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown (Casting Crowns lyric anyone? haha) to mold me into a stronger woman.
For so long I have griped about being single and not understanding why I'm 25 years old and yet I've never been in a serious relationship. After a long talk with Denise last night at the gym, I realize that this could be why. Mike jokingly tells me that he thinks my soul mate is in Colorado but this is so much more than that. I don't have a boyfriend/fiance/husband, I don't have kids, and once I'm done with my Master's, I won't have school tying me down anymore. There is no reason I can't step out on a ledge and take a flying leap into something I never would have considered before. Yes, my immediate family and my best friends are here, but like my mom said, it gives them a new place to visit and I need to follow my heart and do what my heart is telling me.
I shouldn't be looking at this period in my life as traumatic and like I'm missing something. Instead, I should be looking at it as an opportunity to explore the world and do things I can't do with a husband and kids. This is my chance to be free and to be me and to let God take me where He wants to take me. He has so much to teach me and I have so many things I want to do so I'm going to choose to rejoice and I'm going to continue praying to see where this journey is going to take me.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Real update coming soon!
I know I owe a real update sometime soon. I was going to do it tonight but I'm running my second 5k on Saturday (the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure!) so I needed to go to the gym and do a training run since I only ran once on vacation and it was a pitiful run at that.
I'm also getting over being sick and the doctor put me on a cough medicine that is making me drowsy so I'm going to go sleep it off.
This is my reminder to myself to update you on everything I mentioned in the previous entry, along with my thoughts on moving to Denver and the doors I feel are opening up for me.
That's all. I'm off to take a shower and go to bed before I fall asleep on my keyboard.
I'm also getting over being sick and the doctor put me on a cough medicine that is making me drowsy so I'm going to go sleep it off.
This is my reminder to myself to update you on everything I mentioned in the previous entry, along with my thoughts on moving to Denver and the doors I feel are opening up for me.
That's all. I'm off to take a shower and go to bed before I fall asleep on my keyboard.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Note to self
Notes to self on what to update on:
Friday:
--Flights
--Rental car
--Dinner at Jack's
--Late night conversation with Mike
Saturday:
--Lookout Mountain
--16th Street Mall
--Wazee Supper Club
Sunday:
--Checked out a new church
--Shopping and getting lost adventures with Kelly
--Dinner with the boys and Kelly
--Lookout Mountain at night
Monday:
--U.S. Mint tour
--Capitol Building Tour
--Hard Rock Cafe
--Rockies game (and my very vocal opinion on their fans!)
Tomorrow we're off to Pike's Peak and Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs! Can't wait!
Oh and I need to remember to write about my thoughts on moving out here.
That's all for tonight because it's 11:30 here (and 1:30 over there on the east coast!) so I'm off to bed. Goodnight!
Friday:
--Flights
--Rental car
--Dinner at Jack's
--Late night conversation with Mike
Saturday:
--Lookout Mountain
--16th Street Mall
--Wazee Supper Club
Sunday:
--Checked out a new church
--Shopping and getting lost adventures with Kelly
--Dinner with the boys and Kelly
--Lookout Mountain at night
Monday:
--U.S. Mint tour
--Capitol Building Tour
--Hard Rock Cafe
--Rockies game (and my very vocal opinion on their fans!)
Tomorrow we're off to Pike's Peak and Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs! Can't wait!
Oh and I need to remember to write about my thoughts on moving out here.
That's all for tonight because it's 11:30 here (and 1:30 over there on the east coast!) so I'm off to bed. Goodnight!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
And we're off!
Just wanted to do a quick update saying that I'm feeling ten times better since last night's entry. I ended up taking a candle lit bubble bath to relax last night and then took some Tylenol PM to get some much needed sleep. I woke up feeling so much better this morning. I don't sound better because I'm still congested, but otherwise I feel great!
Kelly and I are currently in Indianapolis for the night anxiously awaiting our flight to Denver tomorrow morning! I have been counting down to this trip for months and it's finally here! We're watching Jersey Shore at the moment (my guilty pleasure haha!) and then I'm going to shower so we can get some sleep before our 5 a.m. wake up call so we can catch the 6 a.m. shuttle to the airport.
Next stop: DENVER!!!!
Kelly and I are currently in Indianapolis for the night anxiously awaiting our flight to Denver tomorrow morning! I have been counting down to this trip for months and it's finally here! We're watching Jersey Shore at the moment (my guilty pleasure haha!) and then I'm going to shower so we can get some sleep before our 5 a.m. wake up call so we can catch the 6 a.m. shuttle to the airport.
Next stop: DENVER!!!!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Meltdown mode
I've been in pre-meltdown mode since getting home from Athens on Sunday night and today I finally broke down and cried. Too bad the meltdown came at work, the one place I always swore I'd never cry but it all came tumbling down and I lost it after our weekly weigh in.
I had a conversation with Megan and then with Vince last night about how I think it's depressing that I always have to call on my gay best friend to take me to things such as weddings and out on special occasions such as my birthday because I don't have a boyfriend to do those things for me. I told Vince I felt it was a burden and he was quick to reassure me that he doesn't think it's a burden, that he enjoys it and told me I was over thinking all of this, though I don't think I am. He also told me I'm ridiculous, which is probably true but he loves me anyway which is a good thing considering all that he tolerates from me, though he tells me he chooses to do it and doesn't just tolerate it. :-)
On top of that, I woke up feeling sick this morning. A couple of days before I went to Athens I lost my voice but didn't feel sick at all. This morning, I woke up nauseous and I couldn't breathe and I've had no appetite. When I got to work this morning I asked to be sent home early but didn't get sent home until 3, which I guess is better than nothing. I'm thinking this is all because the weather is changing and all of my kiddos at work are sick as well but it still sucks, especially with my Denver trip being 48 hours around the corner.
We're doing a Biggest Loser competition at work and today was our second weigh in. Today's number was enough to set me over the edge and was what led to my emotional breakdown at work. According to the scale, I've put on 3.5 pounds in the last week. Granted, we changed scales and this one is supposed to be more accurate but it discouraged me. Everything has felt looser but apparently I'm gaining weight? I don't get it.
I walked out of the office and into the baby room and Patti asked me how I was feeling and I ended up in tears with she and Amy. I went back into the office and asked Kelly to send me home because I wasn't feeling well. I ended up crying with Kelly for about ten minutes as she tried to reassure me but by the time I got back to my classroom I was a mess. I was so glad when Katie came back and told me that she was relieving me and they were sending me home. I don't think my emotional state could have handeled the rest of the afternoon at work.
I know I'm not over the hump and I still have a lot on my mind but that brief cry helped a little. I have a feeling I may end up breaking down again. I need to get it out now because I don't want to be a mess while I'm in Denver. I knew it was coming based on Sunday afternoon and a talk I had had with Vince and today it all finally came tumbling down. Now I just need to sort it all out.
All I have to say is thank God for people like Megan, Vince, and Kelly who have been dealing with my emotional self all week. I don't know what I'd do without them.
I had a conversation with Megan and then with Vince last night about how I think it's depressing that I always have to call on my gay best friend to take me to things such as weddings and out on special occasions such as my birthday because I don't have a boyfriend to do those things for me. I told Vince I felt it was a burden and he was quick to reassure me that he doesn't think it's a burden, that he enjoys it and told me I was over thinking all of this, though I don't think I am. He also told me I'm ridiculous, which is probably true but he loves me anyway which is a good thing considering all that he tolerates from me, though he tells me he chooses to do it and doesn't just tolerate it. :-)
On top of that, I woke up feeling sick this morning. A couple of days before I went to Athens I lost my voice but didn't feel sick at all. This morning, I woke up nauseous and I couldn't breathe and I've had no appetite. When I got to work this morning I asked to be sent home early but didn't get sent home until 3, which I guess is better than nothing. I'm thinking this is all because the weather is changing and all of my kiddos at work are sick as well but it still sucks, especially with my Denver trip being 48 hours around the corner.
We're doing a Biggest Loser competition at work and today was our second weigh in. Today's number was enough to set me over the edge and was what led to my emotional breakdown at work. According to the scale, I've put on 3.5 pounds in the last week. Granted, we changed scales and this one is supposed to be more accurate but it discouraged me. Everything has felt looser but apparently I'm gaining weight? I don't get it.
I walked out of the office and into the baby room and Patti asked me how I was feeling and I ended up in tears with she and Amy. I went back into the office and asked Kelly to send me home because I wasn't feeling well. I ended up crying with Kelly for about ten minutes as she tried to reassure me but by the time I got back to my classroom I was a mess. I was so glad when Katie came back and told me that she was relieving me and they were sending me home. I don't think my emotional state could have handeled the rest of the afternoon at work.
I know I'm not over the hump and I still have a lot on my mind but that brief cry helped a little. I have a feeling I may end up breaking down again. I need to get it out now because I don't want to be a mess while I'm in Denver. I knew it was coming based on Sunday afternoon and a talk I had had with Vince and today it all finally came tumbling down. Now I just need to sort it all out.
All I have to say is thank God for people like Megan, Vince, and Kelly who have been dealing with my emotional self all week. I don't know what I'd do without them.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Exciting? Nah...
I talked to Tym tonight who made a comment about my exciting life and how I always have something going on. From the outside, it probably does look like that but I chalk it up to it being summer and this being my last big break from school until graduation. When classes start at the end of September, I'll go straight through until I graduate in March of 2012 because I have to take summer classes next summer. That thought alone makes me want to cry...
In other news, I guess the next couple of weeks really are busy. On Friday I head to Athens for the weekend to visit Vince, whom I haven't seen all summer. No, scratch that. I saw him the day after Diana's wedding for a very brief lunch in Mentor during my whirlwind less than 24 hour trip to northeast Ohio, something I have clearly been in no hurry to repeat. He moved into his apartment yesterday and I'm looking forward to some much needed Vince and Heather time. :-)
Then, when I get back on Sunday, Joe and I are headed downtown for the WEBN fireworks. I think James and Brittany may be going with us, but I'm not sure yet. Joe and I are for sure going though, which makes me happy because I love being downtown for the fireworks Labor Day weekend. It marks the end of summer in Cincinnati and the weather is supposed to be perfect!
Monday is a sleep in, clean, and relax day. My bathroom needs deep cleaned and then I need to purge my closet so I can figure out what I need for work clothes wise. A lot of my stuff from last fall and winter is too big so I need to figure out exactly what I need so I can go shopping to replenish my work stuff.
Then all I have to do is get through Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of next week at work and I leave for DENVER!!! I'll be gone for a week and I can't wait! We have so much planned and I am going to enjoy every minute of my vacation because when I get back school starts. Boo!
So other than that exciting stuff what else is going on? Well, I'm siging up to run the Race for the Cure on the 25th which is exciting! It'll be my second 5k and I'm pumped to see how well I do during that race. We were supposed to get a team together but that doesn't seem to be panning out so I'm just going to register as an individual runner because I definitely want to run it.
Some of my co-workers and I are doing a Biggest Loser weight loss competition at work. We each put in $25 and between tomorrow and December 1st we're going to have weekly weigh ins and at the end there will be a cash prize for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight. I went grocery shopping tonight and every single thing I bought was good for me. My goal is to pack my lunch each day and when I snack, to snack on things that are good for me. Now if I could only figure out how to cut out my caffeine intake and I'd be golden...
Alright, I'm done rambling. I need to get some sleep because I'm pretty sure there was no point to this entry other than to ramble so I can sleep. :-P
In other news, I guess the next couple of weeks really are busy. On Friday I head to Athens for the weekend to visit Vince, whom I haven't seen all summer. No, scratch that. I saw him the day after Diana's wedding for a very brief lunch in Mentor during my whirlwind less than 24 hour trip to northeast Ohio, something I have clearly been in no hurry to repeat. He moved into his apartment yesterday and I'm looking forward to some much needed Vince and Heather time. :-)
Then, when I get back on Sunday, Joe and I are headed downtown for the WEBN fireworks. I think James and Brittany may be going with us, but I'm not sure yet. Joe and I are for sure going though, which makes me happy because I love being downtown for the fireworks Labor Day weekend. It marks the end of summer in Cincinnati and the weather is supposed to be perfect!
Monday is a sleep in, clean, and relax day. My bathroom needs deep cleaned and then I need to purge my closet so I can figure out what I need for work clothes wise. A lot of my stuff from last fall and winter is too big so I need to figure out exactly what I need so I can go shopping to replenish my work stuff.
Then all I have to do is get through Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of next week at work and I leave for DENVER!!! I'll be gone for a week and I can't wait! We have so much planned and I am going to enjoy every minute of my vacation because when I get back school starts. Boo!
So other than that exciting stuff what else is going on? Well, I'm siging up to run the Race for the Cure on the 25th which is exciting! It'll be my second 5k and I'm pumped to see how well I do during that race. We were supposed to get a team together but that doesn't seem to be panning out so I'm just going to register as an individual runner because I definitely want to run it.
Some of my co-workers and I are doing a Biggest Loser weight loss competition at work. We each put in $25 and between tomorrow and December 1st we're going to have weekly weigh ins and at the end there will be a cash prize for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight. I went grocery shopping tonight and every single thing I bought was good for me. My goal is to pack my lunch each day and when I snack, to snack on things that are good for me. Now if I could only figure out how to cut out my caffeine intake and I'd be golden...
Alright, I'm done rambling. I need to get some sleep because I'm pretty sure there was no point to this entry other than to ramble so I can sleep. :-P
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Counting my blessings
Tonight I am counting my blessings. With each hour that passes, my dog continues to get better and I am so grateful for more time with her. Today after church I came home to another wet spot on my niece's bed and a wet spot on the blanket we had laid out on the living room floor next to our patio door because she has been making it to the door but not outside. When I let her out, she ran straight for the yard and sat there and went to the bathroom for about three straight minutes.
I had noticed when I came in that her food dish that had once been against the wall was now out in the middle of the kitchen floor and the dog biscuit I had placed in there two days ago was gone. Since she had gone to the bathroom so well for me, I asked her if she wanted a treat and she took it and ate it! I was so ecstatic I cried. This was the first time since Wednesday night she had eaten so we knew she was finally getting better. When my mom got home, she looked at the blanket and found the stone the doctor had said she would pass. I have never been so relieved in my life. With each passing hour tonight, she has continued to improve. I was able to head out for youth group tonight able to relax and focus on my kids.
We had an event called UNight tonight that brought our youth group and about six or seven other youth groups together to worship and pray for their high schools. We had a great turnout and it was so incredible to see so many students gathered together to pray for their districts and their teachers and their own youth groups. I love being so involved with our youth group and being able to pour into them the way the adults poured into me when I was a youth.
After UNight was over, I started talking to Patty, the mom of one of my youth. She's been praying for my heart all summer, knowing what my struggles are, and has been listening to me as I try to figure out what's going on in this particular area of my life. We ended up talking for over an hour tonight and it was a much needed conversation. She is such a blessing to me and I feel like I walk away from our conversations with so much to think about. She pushes me to think and grow closer to the Lord and I love that.
As I was driving home, I was thinking about how vastly different my friendships have become in the couple of years since I graduated from college. I've gone from being friends with just people in my own age bracket to having these amazing friendships with women who are older than me, who challenge me, and encourage me to continue seeking out the Lord in everything that I do. I no longer see them as parents of my youth or people my parent's age. I now see them as friends, people I can call when I'm struggling who will pray with me and listen to me, people who I genuinely enjoy spending time with. Each woman is different from the other, but each one brings a quality to our friendship that is molding me into the woman I hope to one day become.
It amazes me to think where my life is right now. I don't think I would have ever expected this to be where God would have me but I wouldn't change any of it. I don't know what the next couple of years hold or where life will take me once I'm done with my degree, but I do know that the lessons I'm learning now will mold me into the person I'm meant to be, the person that God has created me to be and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I had noticed when I came in that her food dish that had once been against the wall was now out in the middle of the kitchen floor and the dog biscuit I had placed in there two days ago was gone. Since she had gone to the bathroom so well for me, I asked her if she wanted a treat and she took it and ate it! I was so ecstatic I cried. This was the first time since Wednesday night she had eaten so we knew she was finally getting better. When my mom got home, she looked at the blanket and found the stone the doctor had said she would pass. I have never been so relieved in my life. With each passing hour tonight, she has continued to improve. I was able to head out for youth group tonight able to relax and focus on my kids.
We had an event called UNight tonight that brought our youth group and about six or seven other youth groups together to worship and pray for their high schools. We had a great turnout and it was so incredible to see so many students gathered together to pray for their districts and their teachers and their own youth groups. I love being so involved with our youth group and being able to pour into them the way the adults poured into me when I was a youth.
After UNight was over, I started talking to Patty, the mom of one of my youth. She's been praying for my heart all summer, knowing what my struggles are, and has been listening to me as I try to figure out what's going on in this particular area of my life. We ended up talking for over an hour tonight and it was a much needed conversation. She is such a blessing to me and I feel like I walk away from our conversations with so much to think about. She pushes me to think and grow closer to the Lord and I love that.
As I was driving home, I was thinking about how vastly different my friendships have become in the couple of years since I graduated from college. I've gone from being friends with just people in my own age bracket to having these amazing friendships with women who are older than me, who challenge me, and encourage me to continue seeking out the Lord in everything that I do. I no longer see them as parents of my youth or people my parent's age. I now see them as friends, people I can call when I'm struggling who will pray with me and listen to me, people who I genuinely enjoy spending time with. Each woman is different from the other, but each one brings a quality to our friendship that is molding me into the woman I hope to one day become.
It amazes me to think where my life is right now. I don't think I would have ever expected this to be where God would have me but I wouldn't change any of it. I don't know what the next couple of years hold or where life will take me once I'm done with my degree, but I do know that the lessons I'm learning now will mold me into the person I'm meant to be, the person that God has created me to be and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Second chances
After last night's entry, I ended up crying myself to sleep at my aunt's house, fully expecting the worst about my dog. However, we got a second chance today. This morning, Missy still wasn't using the bathroom, eating, or drinking so my mom called me and asked me what the name and number was of the vets that go to my church. I called Megan and promptly broke down in tears and then called the Pfisters to make an appointment. After stopping at Pet Smart for a leash and collar, I headed home to take Missy to the vet with my mom.
We got in and Dr. Pfister examined Missy and told us that her bladder was extremely full. He wanted to do an xray to see what he could find out and when he came back, he told us that she had bladder stones and that he thought one might be blocking her urethra, which is why she can only dribble here and there and not actually use the bathroom. He said that we had two options. The first being that he could give her a steroid shot and some antibiotics and see if the stone would pass by itself and the second being that he could knock her out and catherize (sp??) her to see if the catheter would pass the stone. My mom opted to do the shot, which I had to leave the room for.
Here we are, about three and a half hours later, and she is finally drinking and using the bathroom. She had been dribbling here and there but she finally went so much that she couldn't hold it and peed on my niece's bed (luckily we have a mattress protector on it from when Savannah was potty training!). Now she's resting because she's been in and out going to the bathroom like crazy. All we have to do now is wait for the stone to pass because Dr. Pfister wants my mom to bring it in so he can examine it to see how we can get the rest of the stones to pass. My mom just gave her the second round of antibiotics (she got the first through the shot at the vet's office) by mixing it in with peanut butter.
I think other than obviously worrying about her condition, what we worried about the most was how she would do at the vet's office. I knew going in that Dr. Pfister was a male so I didn't know how Missy would take to him because she's always been skittish around men but she actually took right to him. I think it helps that he used soft tones to her and let her approach him first. When he came back with the xrays, she went right over and let him pet her again, which surprised us. Since she took to him so well, we've decided that we're going to continue to use the Pfister's for check-ups and stuff because we know she isn't afraid of him.
She even did well in the car, minus the moment I had to slam on my brakes because of a stupid driver in front of me and she fell on the floor. :-P She just laid there and looked out the windows and kept sticking her nose in our faces from the backseat.
I can't tell you all how relieved I am that it was nothing more serious than bladder stones. I was so afraid Dr. Pfister would tell me that her system was shutting down but when the nurse took her temp and said it was normal, I began to breathe a little easier. I'm not ready for goodbye yet so I'm glad we have a second chance with her.
And now, I am off to fulfill yet another childhood dream! Two summers ago Megan and I went to the New Kids on the Block concert when they were in Cincinnati and tonight Kelly and I are headed to see the Backstreet Boys!!! EEEEEKKK!!! I can't even tell you how excited I am! We had been tossing the idea around for awhile and finally decided we're going! I am sooo pumped! I have all of their cds and know all of their songs so I can't wait to make another dream come true!!! Tonight is going to be amazing!!
We got in and Dr. Pfister examined Missy and told us that her bladder was extremely full. He wanted to do an xray to see what he could find out and when he came back, he told us that she had bladder stones and that he thought one might be blocking her urethra, which is why she can only dribble here and there and not actually use the bathroom. He said that we had two options. The first being that he could give her a steroid shot and some antibiotics and see if the stone would pass by itself and the second being that he could knock her out and catherize (sp??) her to see if the catheter would pass the stone. My mom opted to do the shot, which I had to leave the room for.
Here we are, about three and a half hours later, and she is finally drinking and using the bathroom. She had been dribbling here and there but she finally went so much that she couldn't hold it and peed on my niece's bed (luckily we have a mattress protector on it from when Savannah was potty training!). Now she's resting because she's been in and out going to the bathroom like crazy. All we have to do now is wait for the stone to pass because Dr. Pfister wants my mom to bring it in so he can examine it to see how we can get the rest of the stones to pass. My mom just gave her the second round of antibiotics (she got the first through the shot at the vet's office) by mixing it in with peanut butter.
I think other than obviously worrying about her condition, what we worried about the most was how she would do at the vet's office. I knew going in that Dr. Pfister was a male so I didn't know how Missy would take to him because she's always been skittish around men but she actually took right to him. I think it helps that he used soft tones to her and let her approach him first. When he came back with the xrays, she went right over and let him pet her again, which surprised us. Since she took to him so well, we've decided that we're going to continue to use the Pfister's for check-ups and stuff because we know she isn't afraid of him.
She even did well in the car, minus the moment I had to slam on my brakes because of a stupid driver in front of me and she fell on the floor. :-P She just laid there and looked out the windows and kept sticking her nose in our faces from the backseat.
I can't tell you all how relieved I am that it was nothing more serious than bladder stones. I was so afraid Dr. Pfister would tell me that her system was shutting down but when the nurse took her temp and said it was normal, I began to breathe a little easier. I'm not ready for goodbye yet so I'm glad we have a second chance with her.
And now, I am off to fulfill yet another childhood dream! Two summers ago Megan and I went to the New Kids on the Block concert when they were in Cincinnati and tonight Kelly and I are headed to see the Backstreet Boys!!! EEEEEKKK!!! I can't even tell you how excited I am! We had been tossing the idea around for awhile and finally decided we're going! I am sooo pumped! I have all of their cds and know all of their songs so I can't wait to make another dream come true!!! Tonight is going to be amazing!!
Friday, August 27, 2010
How do you mend a broken heart?
My heart is breaking in two right now and I'm not sure this break will ever heal. Yesterday, my dog spent the whole day getting sick all over our living room and acting like she had to go to the bathroom, but never actually going. She wouldn't touch her food or any treats that I tried to give her. In the middle of the night, she came into my room and climbed into bed with me and laid there groaning like she was in pain.
I can't even fathom the idea of losing her yet. I know she's getting old because we've been in Cincinnati for almost ten years and had her for a year or two before then. My mom has been saying all summer she thought this might be her last summer with us but I keep refusing to hear those words because I'm not ready to face a loss of this magnitude yet. Missy (my dog) has been my strength and comfort through some of my toughest times and darkest periods and I can't imagine losing her. My mom has said this will be our last pet and not only is this going to hurt me, but it's going to devestate Savannah. She dotes on and adores our dog and I can't imagine what this will do to her too.
My heart hurts so much right now. I just got done crying on the phone with my sister. I'm baby-sitting and had to leave the room so I could cry. I was distracted enough at work to tuck it away but it's all I've been able to think about since I clocked out at 5:30. I'm a mess. I don't know how I'm going to survive this.
I can't even fathom the idea of losing her yet. I know she's getting old because we've been in Cincinnati for almost ten years and had her for a year or two before then. My mom has been saying all summer she thought this might be her last summer with us but I keep refusing to hear those words because I'm not ready to face a loss of this magnitude yet. Missy (my dog) has been my strength and comfort through some of my toughest times and darkest periods and I can't imagine losing her. My mom has said this will be our last pet and not only is this going to hurt me, but it's going to devestate Savannah. She dotes on and adores our dog and I can't imagine what this will do to her too.
My heart hurts so much right now. I just got done crying on the phone with my sister. I'm baby-sitting and had to leave the room so I could cry. I was distracted enough at work to tuck it away but it's all I've been able to think about since I clocked out at 5:30. I'm a mess. I don't know how I'm going to survive this.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Impossible is not a word
Yesterday I did something I never, ever would have imagined I could ever do. I ran my first 5k race. I never would have thought that I'd be able to run 3.1 miles or be in training for a half-marathon which is exactly what I'm doing. I've been training to run a 5k for awhile but kept making excuses as to why I couldn't do it or why I wasn't ready.
About a month ago, Denise told me about this 5k that one of her co-workers was organizing to benefit a local school's cross country team and she asked me to run with her. I finally agreed because I knew if I wanted to run the half-marathon next spring I needed to start doing small races to prepare myself for running 13.1 miles next May.
The night before the race, I laid awake until almost 12:30 telling myself I was crazy and that I couldn't do this. When I woke up Saturday morning, I felt sick to my stomach, both from my sinuses and because I still thought I couldn't do this. The closer we got to Denise's house though, the more excited I became. I knew I had worked hard up to this point and it didn't matter what my time was or how much I ran versus how much I walked but the fact was that I was going to cross that finish line no matter what it took.
We arrived about half an hour before the race started and registered. I started stretching and before I knew it it was time to gather at the starting line. When the horn when off, we started at the back but gradually made our way to the middle of the pack. Denise's husband ran the whole thing because he and Denise are training for a half marathon for next month but because Denise has already run a full marathon, she told me she would pace herself with me since it was my first race. Megan also ran with us and between the two of them, they kept me going. I had doubts during parts of the course but Denise kept reminding me of our last three mile training run in 90 degree heat and what I had told her when we were done. I had told her that I had proven to myself that I could do it and how confident it made me feel when we were done. That kept me going for the three mile run from the center of town out to the high school.
I crossed the finish line at 52:20 and not only had I completed the race in under an hour, but I had also shaved EIGHT minutes off of my last three mile training run!! I hadn't run the entire thing but it didn't matter. I had finished and that's all that mattered to me. Since Jon had run the whole race, he was waiting for us at the end of the course. Denise and Megan backed off so I could cross the finish line before them (which was very sweet since it was my first race!). As I came across the finish line, I put my arms up in victory and burst into tears because I had just proven to myself that I could do something I never thought was possible. Jon came running over and gave me a big hug and kept telling me how proud he was that I had finished and how well I had done. Right behind him were Denise and Megan, each of them waiting for me with big hugs and telling me how incredible I had done and how proud they were of me. All I could do was cry which made it impossible to catch my breath since I had run the last quarter mile. :-P
I never honestly thought this day would come. As I ran alongside Denise during her months of training for the marathon and talked about how I wanted to run 5ks and train for the half, inside I was telling myself I was all talk and that it would never happen, that it would be just another one of my plans that fell apart. Well, guess what? It's not! I completed my first race and now I'm pumped to get back to the gym tomorrow night to start training for my next race in September.
After this weekend, I now believe I can do anything I set my mind to. I am absolutely hooked on running and races and there hasn't been any greater feeling in my life up to this point than the experience of coming down that finish line and knowing I had done something I once thought was impossible and crazy. Like the lyrics to "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless say: "Impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try." Impossible is no longer a word in my vocabulary and the confidence that brings is incredible.
Denise and I after the 5k!
Without these ladies, I couldn't have done this! 
With Megan before the race!
With my support system and my cheering section. I couldn't have done this on Saturday without them!
About a month ago, Denise told me about this 5k that one of her co-workers was organizing to benefit a local school's cross country team and she asked me to run with her. I finally agreed because I knew if I wanted to run the half-marathon next spring I needed to start doing small races to prepare myself for running 13.1 miles next May.
The night before the race, I laid awake until almost 12:30 telling myself I was crazy and that I couldn't do this. When I woke up Saturday morning, I felt sick to my stomach, both from my sinuses and because I still thought I couldn't do this. The closer we got to Denise's house though, the more excited I became. I knew I had worked hard up to this point and it didn't matter what my time was or how much I ran versus how much I walked but the fact was that I was going to cross that finish line no matter what it took.
We arrived about half an hour before the race started and registered. I started stretching and before I knew it it was time to gather at the starting line. When the horn when off, we started at the back but gradually made our way to the middle of the pack. Denise's husband ran the whole thing because he and Denise are training for a half marathon for next month but because Denise has already run a full marathon, she told me she would pace herself with me since it was my first race. Megan also ran with us and between the two of them, they kept me going. I had doubts during parts of the course but Denise kept reminding me of our last three mile training run in 90 degree heat and what I had told her when we were done. I had told her that I had proven to myself that I could do it and how confident it made me feel when we were done. That kept me going for the three mile run from the center of town out to the high school.
I crossed the finish line at 52:20 and not only had I completed the race in under an hour, but I had also shaved EIGHT minutes off of my last three mile training run!! I hadn't run the entire thing but it didn't matter. I had finished and that's all that mattered to me. Since Jon had run the whole race, he was waiting for us at the end of the course. Denise and Megan backed off so I could cross the finish line before them (which was very sweet since it was my first race!). As I came across the finish line, I put my arms up in victory and burst into tears because I had just proven to myself that I could do something I never thought was possible. Jon came running over and gave me a big hug and kept telling me how proud he was that I had finished and how well I had done. Right behind him were Denise and Megan, each of them waiting for me with big hugs and telling me how incredible I had done and how proud they were of me. All I could do was cry which made it impossible to catch my breath since I had run the last quarter mile. :-P
I never honestly thought this day would come. As I ran alongside Denise during her months of training for the marathon and talked about how I wanted to run 5ks and train for the half, inside I was telling myself I was all talk and that it would never happen, that it would be just another one of my plans that fell apart. Well, guess what? It's not! I completed my first race and now I'm pumped to get back to the gym tomorrow night to start training for my next race in September.
After this weekend, I now believe I can do anything I set my mind to. I am absolutely hooked on running and races and there hasn't been any greater feeling in my life up to this point than the experience of coming down that finish line and knowing I had done something I once thought was impossible and crazy. Like the lyrics to "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless say: "Impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try." Impossible is no longer a word in my vocabulary and the confidence that brings is incredible.
Denise and I after the 5k!
Without these ladies, I couldn't have done this! With Megan before the race!
With my support system and my cheering section. I couldn't have done this on Saturday without them!
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